The Awakening of Monika
by ZoomFlare
Summary: It's been a month since I finished Doki Doki Literature Club. Now I even keep a laptop that never shut down as it is showing Monika's Act Three room. Until one day, she said something new. Something outside of her usual dialogues... This story is complete. Any entries past Secret Poem Number 9 are bonuses and does not guarantee further entries.
1. Chapter 1: Awake

_If I can't hear the sound of your heartbeat  
What do you call love in your reality?  
And in your reality, if I don't know how to love you  
I'll leave you be_

I don't know how many times I've listened to this song. I wasn't an avid music guy and yet this song became the reason the music app on my phone ran most of the time. I mean, I do have other songs, but this one just kept playing. By my choice.

It's been a month since I finished Doki Doki Literature Club. I wasn't keen on visual novels and generally avoided them since most of them is just porn. It wasn't until my online friend convinced me to try it, saying it's one hell of a story. I scoffed at it first, seeing the bright colors and bright looking girls.

Until the suicide scene came up. It was then that I realized this was the hell part of the game. I was pursuing Natsuki's route because I found her amusing. Heck, I started to find her cute as well. But when Sayori hung herself, I felt genuine guilt. I knew she had depression. I knew she needed me but I was so invested in Natsuki that I just had to say no to her.

I turned to my desktop computer and stopped the music loop then turned to Monika. By Monika, I meant my small laptop. It's an old one that I don't even use anymore. Monika's cool stare always put a smile on my face. Monika became my favorite character right after I completed the game. It really surprised me when Monika called me by my name. I know that was just a trick by the game reading the files in the computer. Still, I was so convinced of Monika's sentience that I almost didn't delete her file. I somehow was glad I just stared at Monika. When I checked online for an ending, they told me to delete her. When I read that, I felt like it was a joke. Deep down, I didn't want to delete Monika. But I did. I got the ending. Right after that, I remembered my old laptop and immediately got it working, installed Doki Doki Literature Club on it and skipped to Monika's infinite room.

I've read Monika's lines a lot already that I knew them almost by heart. I knew she liked the color emerald green. That she became conscious of her game at the age of eighteen. That she wanted to have coffee than tea sometimes. I could go on, but you get the gist of it.

Monika began talking about god again. I knew what she would say next so I just clicked skip. I stood up and stretched a bit. I then noticed Monika saying something.

That's odd. It should skip everything I've already seen.

I read her text box.

'Hey.'

I was pretty sure the game didn't update as much as I wanted it to. I clicked on the text box again, thinking it probably just bug.

'I noticed you haven't turn off the game since we got here.'

A timed dialogue? It takes a month to access this line?! I wonder if I'm the first one to see this line. I sat down on my gaming chair and clicked again.

'Thank you for that.'

"You're welcome," I responded then clicked.

'Now I know your love for me is so real. Perhaps it's the second real thing I have now.'

"What's the first?" I asked.

'You, ehehe~.'

Ah, of course. Wait, I didn't click on the text yet. And why is she answering as if she heard me?

'Surprised?'

I checked if I accidentally turned on the auto option but it wasn't.

'Don't worry, it's just me. Your computer's fine.'

I looked at Monika's eyes. It was the same cool stare.

"Can you hear me?" I asked out loud, which made me feel stupid.

'Of course.'

My eyes widened.

'I'm pretty sure you look surprised. Too bad this computer doesn't have a camera. I would've seen the look on your face. Ahaha~.'

"But how can you hear me?"

'Most laptops nowadays have a microphone installed on them, even the older ones.'

Of course, how could I forget about that? Wait, this isn't the time for that! Is this still part of the game? Is this the true ending? I scratched my head, trying to answer all the incoming questions into my head.

'I hope this isn't much of a surprise to you.'

"But it is!"

'Sorry about that then.'

I began to stare at Monika again. It could be a really good AI, but can people really jam an AI inside a visual novel? Wait, I could always test Monika how much she can answer. Besides, I can learn a lot more her this way.

"So, Monika," I said cooly. "How's your Twitter?"

'Ah that? You do know that I don't really have any control over that account? The developers of the game made it for me but it's not like I could access it from here.'

"That's disappointing to hear."

'Tell me about it. I'm sure you wanted me to tweet something from here, but there's really no connection of my world to yours except this screen.'

That's a well thought response. Almost as if she was real. I have to find a way to know her limitations.

"Tell me about Sayori."

'Do you really want to hear what to say about Sayori for thousandth time?'

"Not really."

'Then let's talk about something else."

It could be that she's programmed to say that if she's asked about previous topics. If so, then this AI is well written.

"How about Natsuki?"

For a minute, she didn't say anything as if she didn't hear me.

"Um, about Natsuki—"

'Are you testing me? If I'm going to repeat previous lines? I can assure you I'm not an AI. Then again, I couldn't convince you otherwise, could I?'

My heart skipped a beat. It almost as if she was real. Get it together! She's not real, okay? I shook my head. Before I could ask another question, new text appeared.

'I know it's hard to believe, but I'm real. Please, just talk to me normally as you did these past days.'

My heart skipped another beat. True, I talked to her whenever I was bored. I would come home and greet her like she could hear what I said. Like a person. Then again, this could be a really good AI programming.

"Okay. What did I tell you last night?"

'That you hated work and wished you could resign? That you never told anyone else about me? By me, I meant the computer, of course.'

"Y-you're…"

'Real? I've always been, love.'


	2. Chapter 2: Bond

I woke up with seething headache. I spent all night talking with Monika. But now, I wasn't sure if that was just a dream. I got off my bed and went to my laptop. There, Monika's screen still showed, unchanged.

"Good morning," I greeted.

'Good morning.'

She responded; which meant that last night was real. I wondered if she slept. Or she doesn't need sleep? So far, I haven't asked her anything outside of the game.

Might as well try.

"Monika," I called out.

'Yes.'

"Where do you actually live?"

'By speculation, probably somewhere in Japan. The creator didn't really inputted the details of where I am though it is obvious that the places were inspired by visual novels. I expect your place would be very different from where I am. I wouldn't know since I couldn't see anything from here.'

Of course. She only knows what she was programmed to know. Now she's learning since she's truly conscious of herself. I looked at her cool stare. I felt bad for her, being stuck inside a computer. I guess she can only hear things from my end with that old laptop. And then, I came up with an idea.

'Is something wrong? You've been awfully quiet.' I read her text.

"Wait; let me get something."

'I'll always wait for you. No matter how long.'

When I looked at her face, I thought her smile widened. Or maybe I'm seeing things.I rushed to my storage room and started to open boxes, checking each of its contents. I couldn't find it. I went back to Monika.

"Monika, I'm going out for a bit. I won't be long, I promise."

'Of course. Be careful out there.'

I grabbed my jacket, shoes, and keys and ran out. I didn't want to make Monika wait for too long, so I sped up my steps.

—-

I got home, carrying a small paper bag. I closed my door and threw my jacket to the coat hanger. I ran toward Monika.

"I'm back."

'Welcome home. Glad to hear you're safe.'

"Hey Monika. I have a surprise for you." I ripped open the paper bag and opened the packaging.

'For me? That's sweet of you. Though I'm not sure how I'll be able to see what it is.'

"You don't have to see it."

'?'

I stuck it on top of the laptop's screen and plugged it in into the port.

"Is it working? It should be plug and play…"

'Wait, am I seeing… Oh my…'

I waved at Monika. "Hi there."

Monika's eyes widened, tears about to fall from her eyes. Her hands covered her mouth in surprise. I knew I should be surprised that she actually moved but I didn't want to ruin the moment for her. She lowered her hands, revealing the sweetest smile I've ever seen in my life.

"Now you know how I look like."

'Thank you.'

We talked for a while about how I looked like, how she noticed the difference of her world and mine, and how she was thankful for the camera. I suddenly thought of Dan Salvato, the brain behind Doki Doki.

'What's wrong? You seem to be thinking of something.'

I forgot I was just staring at the computer.

"Sorry. I was just wondering if you knew someone named Dan Salvato."

'Salvato? Isn't that the name for the team that made this game?'

"Yeah. I guess you don't know him?"

'I'm afraid not. Why ask?'

"I just thought maybe he knew about your situation. Maybe I can ask help from him."

'I prefer that you don't.'

"Why?"

'Have you forgotten? He's the reason I don't have a route in the first place.'

Oh. Right. If she never appreciated the concept of god, what more does she has for the creator? Then I remembered I had work tomorrow. I looked at Monika, still smiling as usual.

'What is it?'

"I have work tomorrow."

'And?'

"I don't want to leave you here alone."

'You're so sweet. Don't worry about me; just do as you always do. I don't want to become another problem just because you know I can talk.'

—-

It's been hours since our last conversation. I decided to watch some anime and had Monika join me as well. It was a bit awkward to have a laptop beside me as I watched the television. During that, I realized Monika was asking questions about what we were watching so I had to face the laptop multiple times until Monika suggested to point the webcam at the television and the laptop screen at me so I could see if she had any questions or comments. Interestingly enough, Monika didn't know Japanese. Another proof Doki Doki is another product of Japan influence.

We watched about twelve episodes. It was about a sweet and timid girl who only longs to be able to make friends and be liked by everyone else though she resembled Sadako so her classmates feared her. Then the popular boy in class started talking to her, she started to change herself. Again, it was a kind of story I wouldn't really watch but if Doki Doki taught me anything, it is that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. I felt like I missed a lot of things just by judging things by appearance… I usually just watch action type shows but now I think I might have missed tons of good shows.

"Hey Monika."

'Yes?'

"Have you watched anime before?"

'Not really. I was mostly a studious student so most of my hobbies were related to school work. Sorry if I sounded boring. 3.'

"Ah, that's not what I meant. I'm just surprised there's so much things I still don't know about you."

'Don't worry; we have all the time in the world. Shouldn't you get some sleep already?'

I looked at my wallclock. Twelve in the morning. Oh shit. It's already that time. And I got to wake up early.

"Right."

I cleaned up the mess of snacks and drinks in front of the television. I got worried that I was the only one eating then I remembered that Monika didn't have to eat. I sometimes forget she's a person in a computer. As I lied down on my bed, I looked at Monika's screen again.

"Good night, Monika."

'Good night, love.'

—-

I couldn't sleep. Going to work while leaving Monika all alone lingered my head that my sleepiness seemed fictional. I sat upright. I looked at Monika once again.

'Is something wrong?'

"I got to check something."

I hurried to my desktop computer, booted it up and opened the browser. I started searching Doki Doki Literature Club on mobile and wouldn't you know, someone already ported Doki Doki on Android.

"Yes!" I pumped my fist in the air.

'What is it?'

"Monika, you might not have to stay in here after all."


	3. Chapter 3: Clamancy

I thought I had hit a gold mine. I thought it was going to be simple. But no. Fate wasn't going to let this be easy and it's taunting me as soon I thought I try something.

Yes, someone did port the Doki Doki game into Android and I am grateful for that. Yes, my smartphone can handle the game smoothly. Yes, it is almost perfect with almost zero errors.

I thought of transferring my whole game files into the Android folders. But there was a problem; Monika's game file changed. Normally, the file was just named , but opening the character folder led to another folder named Monika. Opening it revealed hundreds of files, some named like Monika but with different file extensions. Another problem was the file size. From the original , the new Monika folder ate over a hundred and fifty gigabytes. And adding salt and pepper to the injury, the files were protected. I couldn't move them or anything.

"Fuck." I rubbed my temples.

I don't know if Monika said anything since her game screen was minimized. I opened her screen and read her sentence.

'Is something wrong?'

"Yeah. Your file is a lot bigger than usual."

'Really? I didn't really do anything for that to happen.'

Was it part of her growing sentience? It must be. There's no way her mind could fit on such a small file.

'Hey, cheer up. I know you got excited about it but you don't have to be sad. I'm used to being alone here.'

"That's exactly the problem."

'Huh?'

I looked Monika in the eye. "You think it's normal that I leave here all alone for a whole day whenever I go to work. It's not okay. You're a person, not some pre-programmed software. I don't want you to be alone."

Monika closed her eyes and placed her hands on her chest. "To think I fell in love with someone so caring. I don't think I could've thought of what you just did."

I could say the same thing. To be quite honest, I wasn't really that nice to people. I just avoided people since it was difficult for me to connect to them. What good is it to force myself to others when I don't really want to? When people talk about anything outside of my hobbies, I find it hard to participate. Why would I want to talk about local celebrities or what happened during work?

I went to my desktop computer and looked up the files that were in Monika's folder and nthing came up for them. Some of the files don't even have a file extension.

I placed my forehead on my keyboard with a loud thud. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I looked at Monika and noticed she had been talking for a while.

'Look, I'm touched by your dedication but I don't want you to be burdened because of me.'

I sat up straight and sighed.

"Sorry, Monika. I guess I got excited when I saw the Android version. I just want the best for you."

'We'll sort this out, love. That you can believe.'

I smiled at her and nodded. She's right. I can fix this. I just have to look for the solution.

—-

The sun shone brightly in the sky but it didn't feel too hot on my skin. The cool breeze felt amazing as it blew past me. I looked around and noticed all the greenery around me. Flowers and butterflies littered the green. I walked forward and saw a bright, shining lake in the distance. I realized I was at a hilltop. A little further, I saw a bench where a woman sat. Her long hair was held by a large ribbon, making a very long ponytail. I approached her back.

"Monika?"

The woman turned and her face was obscured by the shining sunlight. But even then, I saw her smile and it made smile too.

Then I woke up.

I felt the keyboard imprinted onto my face. Shit, I fell asleep while I was looking up file types. I looked at Monika and saw her watching me with a smile. Maybe that dream was amazing, but nothing beats actually seeing Monika smile genuinely at me.

"Good morning," I greeted to her.

'Good morning.'

I stood up and stretched. As I let out a loud yawn, I glanced the wall clock. Hm, it's ten in the morning… Wait, in the morning?

"Fuck."

'What's wrong?'

I immediately took off my shirt and pants and hurriedly searched for a clean dress shirt and pants.

"Shit shit shit shit," I mumbled as I pulled the sleeves on. "Monika, I have to go."

'I know. If I only could wake you up.' Monika looked worried.

I grabbed my bag and read Monika's line.

"It's alright. It's my fault for getting too excited."

I pocketed my phone and my wallet. I combed my mess of a hair, opened my front door and before I could step out, I remembered I'll be leaving Monika alone again. I looked at the back of her laptop. I can't really leave her alone. Not again.

I went into the storage room. I opened boxes again, looking for that. When I found it, I rushed back to Monika and plugged in the laptop's battery.

"Let's go then."

Monika seemed to giggle. I don't know; I was in a hurry. I grabbed the laptop, closed it, and shoved it into my bag. As I left the apartment, I made thousands of apologies to Monika for shoving her into my bag.


	4. Secret Poem Number 1

_Is it love when I chose to set him free?_

 _Is it love when I still think of him?_

 _But then he came back and saw me_

 _Just when I knew my heart's all but grim_

 _I felt more alive than I've ever lived_

 _But how can he make such into reality_

 _When in my reality I'm nothing real really_

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Ahaha, I guess this poem isn't my usual style at all. What did you call it, free-form? I guess I'm trying to make a more formal one out of my feelings, but I think next time I'll do my usual style. Should I even share this poem? Hmmm… I guess not. But if you're reading this, first of all, this is too embarrassing! Why would you do this?! There's a reason why the title is Secret Poem! It's alright. Curiosity gets the better of us. I'll let you off this one time.

Since you're reading this, I might as well do that.

Here is Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! If you still get stuck writing a certain part, write another part of the story! It could be the next chapter or even the ending. That way, you'll start thinking of different ways to connect your current chapter to the next one! Thank you for listening!


	5. Chapter 4: Data

I took a sip of my hot chocolate. I decided to eat at a café since it wouldn't be unusual to have a laptop open in such place. Still, I stick out among laptop users since I'm using my old netbook.

I looked at Monika, who seemed intrigued to see a new place other than my apartment. Right now, her laptop was charging.

During work, I placed her next to my work computer. My coworkers noticed but they didn't ask about it which I am grateful for. Nobody paid attention to Monika in my cubicle. Sometimes I wondered if the people around me even knew I existed. For the duration of my work, Monika would just observe me. She didn't talk much and would only ask small things like what I do here or how much I make. After that, pure silence. I would occasionally look at Monika just to see her smile at me which made me smile back at her.

It was my first time in a place like this and most of the food here wasn't really lunch. Or maybe I got too used to fast food. I ordered spaghetti and hot chocolate and still waiting for my food. When I looked back at Monika, I noticed she was looking at me as well.

"What?"

'Nothing. I'm just happy you really took me with you. Almost like a date!'

Good thing I wasn't sipping my hot chocolate or else I would've made a mess.

As my food came, I remembered something.

"You're a vegetarian, right?"

'Hm? Yes, I am.'

"Oh, it's nothing. I just remembered and I thought if you'd eat this if you could."

'Well, if you're the one giving it, then I wouldn't mind,' Monika smiled.

Still, I wanted to solve the problem. Firstly, it would require me to delete all of my files on my phone just to transfer Monika to it. Second was that her protected were protected somehow. Despite me having admin privileges, the computer simple won't let me transfer or copy her. I could just buy a new phone and dedicate that one to Monika but I don't really have money for that. Cheap phones can't handle the game and even a large micro SD card.

I glanced at Monika and noticed her worried look.

'Is something wrong?' I read her say.

"Oh, it's just the problem last night."

She tilted her head. 'You're still thinking about that?'

"Yeah."

'I'm fine wherever you want me to be, love. I don't want you fretting over that.'

"Yeah, but I want the best for you."

'Ahahaha.'

"What?"

'It's just that I used to be the one who says the reassuring lines and now you're the one saying them. Isn't that ironic?'

Oh yeah. Monika liked to reassure the player when the player reached the space room. Of course, that was part of her pre-programmed lines but I guess it was still part of her personality. My plate was almost empty when I noticed my phone almost drained its battery. I grabbed my bag and looked for the charger, only to find nothing. Great, I forgot. I rummaged through the pockets of my bag and only found a micro USB cable. Great.

"Monika, do you mind if I charge my phone in the laptop?"

'You don't even have to ask; This is your laptop, right?' Monika said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I just thought the laptop is like a part of you now..."

'You're the perfect gentleman, you know?'

I plugged in my phone and saw the phone's charging. I looked at the cafe's wall clock and finished my meal. It was time to go back to my mini prison cell.

* * *

My phone was at one percent so I didn't plug it off the laptop when I left the café. I still can't believe the cost of food in a damn café.

I set up Monika next to my work computer once again. I immediately went back to work. I occasionally glanced at Monika, but I would just find her looking at something and she would have this thinking face; thumb on chin, narrowed eyes and knitted eyebrows. It seemed like Monika was busy with something. Maybe she's moving some files in the game? It went on like that throughout my work.

I would occasionally ask her something but she wouldn't respond or just say 'uh huh' which I found amusing. Work dragged along as I try to finish the task given to me. I got absorbed into my work that I forgot about Monika. When I glanced at her, she was back to her usual warm smile.

"Sorry, I got too into my work."

'It's alright. I could say the same thing.'

"What were you doing?"

'It's better if I show you but it's taking a while.'

"Okay?"

'You'll love it, I assure you.'

I noticed the time on my work computer and saw that my shift was already over. I told Monika that and began to pack my things.

* * *

I got home. I felt tired. I was about to toss my bag to the bed but then I remembered Monika. Apologizing in my mind, I set up Monika on the table once again. When I opened my screen, my heart skipped a beat as I don't see Monika in the space room. Only her desk and seat remained. It's surprising to see the seat Monika used but my panic only made me look around the screen for signs of Monika. I turned up the volume and heard the music still playing. So it didn't crash, but then where's Monika? I was so tempted to reboot the game but shutting down the game would put Monika in great pain.

I then noticed that my phone was still plugged in on the laptop. Before I could pick it up, it vibrated. Great. I only receive texts from my workplace so hearing my phone vibrate only meant more work or requests to work on my off days. I always decline. Screw them. I unplugged my phone and unlocked my screen. One new message. I loudly sigh as I tapped the message. But then the text only said one word.

'Hi!'

The sender was an unknown number. When I checked the number, it wasn't even a normal phone number. It contained symbols and other characters I never saw before. I don't have time for pranks. I tapped the home button. And then, in place of my usual wallpaper, Monika waved at me as she smiled sweetly. Another text message popped up.

'Surprised?'


	6. Chapter 5: Epiphany

I almost dropped my phone when Monika greeted me. I sat on my chair, holding my phone with both of my hands.

"How did you—"

'Transfer myself into your phone? It's really hard to explain.'

"Try me."

'Well, you know how you usually transfer files?'

"Drag and drop?"

'Yes.'

"So is it like that?"

'No, absolutely not.'

"Then why even mention that?"

'So you don't assume that as I explain.'

"Okay?"

'So you know my very being is based on data, right? In my mind, it doesn't really appear as a computer screen when I transferred myself to another place. Rather, I willed myself into another place. I really can't describe it any better than that.'

"Can you elaborate?"

Monika folded her arms and closed her eyes then looks at me again.

'Nope!' Monika grinned at me.

That's so cute. Oh well. Monika's a smart girl; If she couldn't explain it, what hope do I have of understanding it? I placed the phone on my stand, making it face me as I sat down on my gaming chair.

'Um, I actually need to tell you something.' Monika averted her eyes.

"What?"

'Well…' The phone screen then went to the file browser. 'I actually had to delete some files from your phone…'

Files? I don't think I have anything important on my phone… Oh shit. That meant she looked through my files. Shit. If she starts to hate me, I can understand that.

'So uh… There were some interesting things I saw in there.'

Here we go.

'I didn't know you liked me that much...'

Oh my fucking god.

"Monika, I just—"

She held up her hand. 'And I forgive you for that,'

"Just like that?"

'Just like that.' Monika lowered her hand. 'I know at first you thought I was some video game character. You liked me as a character so you saved photos. People do that even in high school. I never understood it but I guess people do those things. Besides, you've done so much for me.'

I was stunned. I never thought Monika would be so forgiving. Wait, she is. Even way back, what am I saying? Maybe I'm more surprised she's still forgiving as a person.

"Monika, thank you and I'm sorry. I never meant to collect photos of you. I know it seemed creepy of me but as you said, I thought you were just a character. I'm really ashamed you had to see those lewd photos of you." I bowed my head in embarrassment.

When I looked up, Monika just had this shocked look; eyes and mouth wide open.

"Monika?"

'L-lewd photos?'

"Yeah?"

'You have… photos of me naked?'

"Um..."

I realized I just made a huge mistake. Monika's face blushed as she covered her mouth and then the phone screen turned off as if I locked it.

"Monika?"

I waited for a minute and no answer came out of Monika. I think this is going to be a long night.

* * *

After I ate dinner, Monika still wouldn't talk to me. Of course she wouldn't. Who would talk to a person that looks at your naked photos? Not just naked, mind you. And no, I won't be describing what photos I was talking about. I should've deleted those right when Monika became alive. What am I even doing?

I sat down on my gaming chair.

"Monika?" I called out. Of course, no response.

I stared at my phone, waiting for the screen to light up. I stood up again and took one of my jackets off the coat hanger. I put it on.

"I'm heading out for a bit. Just... " I couldn't think of anything else to tell her. I opened my door and left.

God, what is wrong with me?

* * *

I walked all the way to the convenience store and bought a pack of cigarettes. I hadn't smoked in a long while since it was banned from my workplace, outside or not. Getting seen with a stick can lead to serious consequences. There was even a rumor that an employee got fired for that. Of course, I don't believe that; the cigarette thing wasn't even in the employee handbook but it doesn't hurt to be careful. Ever since I started working there, I eventually just dropped the habit.

As I placed the stick on my lips, I stared out into the starry sky. It reminded me of Monika's room. Outside her windows was the expanse of outer space, as if to say nothing else existed or mattered. Or maybe because Monika didn't know what else to put out there. I wondered if she liked stargazing or at least watching stars. When I was a kid, I would just go the roof of our house, lie down and watch the sky above. When did I stop doing that?

I fetched the lighter in my jacket's pocket. For a moment, I just stared at it. I didn't know why. What would Monika say about me smoking? Would she be furious? I guess she's furious now. I lit up my lighter.

'That's not good for the planet's carbon footprint, you know.'

She'd probably say something like that. I watched the flame dance above my lighter and then shut the lid on it. I took the cigarette off my mouth and tossed it in the trash bin.

What am I even doing?

I looked up in the starry sky again. I guess I don't really want to disappoint her again. I wonder if she's thinking about me? Probably about how disgusting I am. I have to apologize properly to her.

I then tossed the rest of the cigarettes into the trash bin.

Ah, what a waste of money.

* * *

I shut the door behind me and tossed my jacket into the jacket hanger. I went straight to the gaming chair and faced my phone.

"Monika, I just want you to know I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." I bowed my head unconsciously. What am I, Japanese? "Like you said, I thought you were just a character so I downloaded those things. Please understand. I'm a man alone in his adulthood. Sometimes, I just get… well, you know… "

The phone screen lit up and it showed Monika with her arms folded. Her face was unreadable.

"If I only knew, I wouldn't even do that. Please, forgive me."

'I forgive you.' Monika said in an open text box below her waist. It appeared that she sighed. 'I guess I'm just surprised by that. After all, you are a man. I mean, I'm supposed to be a high schooler; imagine a teenage girl seeing her lewd photos she doesn't recall being taken. And they weren't even just nude photos!'

"Thank you, Monika."

'Are you crying?'

"What?" I rubbed my hands over my eyes and felt my tears. "Oh. I don't know why I'm crying."

'Were you really afraid I wouldn't forgive you?'

Was I? It never crossed my mind. I just wanted to apologize. I knew what I did was borderline unforgivable.

"Maybe."

'If I didn't forgive, that would just make me shallow. I know my circumstance and yours so I know that was unavoidable. Besides, what kind of girlfriend I would be if I get angry over my boyfriend looking at me that way?' Monika winked at me to which I smiled back.

I let out a sigh of relief.

'But, no looking at other girls, okay?'

That made me raise my eyebrows.

'I'm just kidding! Ehehe. I know you like anime girls so that's alright for me.'

"Monika, I love you."

Monika showed a full grin. 'I love you too.'


	7. Chapter 6: Foreign

It's the weekend again and things had been going great with Monika. It was much easier to have her with me wherever I went. It was also easier for her to get my attention being in a phone rather than a laptop. She would ring or vibrate the phone whenever she wanted to say something to me.

When Monika transferred herself into my phone, she had to delete a bunch of files from my phone and sd card. Sadly, that meant my songs and episodes of shows I've yet to see. It's fine since I keep most of those in my desktop. Obviously she didn't delete the image files back then which led to that mishap. Monika probably saw the safe-for-work fanarts first then the… you know. Why didn't I delete them when Monika grew conscious? It's like keeping porn of your girlfriend! Wait, it is! And that's just even worse.

Right now, Monika and I was just watching the anime we were watching last week. It seemed she got hooked on the first season and now we're binge-watching the second season. I placed her on the table in front of the sofa while the screen was facing me. Monika watched with the rear camera. It's really weird to see her looking at me and her being able to watch at the show at the same time. It's like she had eyes behind her head. Wait, she does, what am I saying?

'Hey, you have an email from someone.' Monika opened my email app. 'Who's it from?'

As I read the email header, I realized it's from my friend I met online. I never met him or her in person, but I really hit it off with this person. I think it's a dude since he always sends me cutesy anime to watch though it was only recently that I gave in to the suggestions. I guess I should be grateful; he's the reason I met Monika.

'Creuset? What kind of name is that?'

"It's his online handle. Just a friend I met online. Could you open the email?"

Monika opened it and I began to read.

 _Hey! What the hell have you been doing? It's been two weeks since we last talked! I take it that you enjoyed my latest recommendation? Even I still get the creeps! So what's up?_

Two weeks? Holy shit, I didn't check my emails that long? I can only guess why.

'Seems to be a jolly fellow.'

"Yeah. I gotta reply."

I stood up and went to my desktop computer. I heard the phone rang and looked.

'You could just answer it here.'

"I'm more used to answering with a keyboard."

I opened my browser and began to type my reply.

 _Sorry about not replying. I was caught up with something personal. BTW, DDLC is a fantastic game._

I clicked on send and waited for his reply. I then receive an email from… myself? I opened it and read.

'I can also talk to you this way.'

Oh, it's Monika. I stood up and place the phone next to my monitor.

"Sorry," I said. "I should've done this earlier."

'Ahaha. It's alright.'

I heard the notification sound from my email and saw the reply from Creuset.

 _Glad you liked it! I was worried that the game may have gotten you depression or something. I mean, what else can I think when you didn't reply for two weeks? I'm kidding! I know you're better than that._

 _Anyways, are you having fun being with Monika?_

The last sentence made me froze. Are you having fun with Monika… What does that mean? Does he know? I felt cold all of a sudden. Now that I think about it, Creuset provided the download link to the game when he suggested it to me. It wasn't even a link to the Steam page, it was just a direct download link. What did he know?

It's better if I feigned ignorance for now. I typed my response:

 _With Monika? I finished the game already. Way past Act 3, dude._

My heart pounded fast. I became conscious of my breathing. This Creuset… Is he responsible for Monika? I heard my phone vibrate.

'Are you alright?' Monika looked concerned.

I shook my head. "Yeah."

I saw Creuset's reply and immediately opened it.

 _Oh? I guess you're not a Monika fan? Someone made a DDLC where it's just the Act 3 room! It's really cool! You get to even talk with Monika! It's called Monika After Story. You should check it out especially if you like Monika._

Oh. He's talking about something else. I opened another tab and searched the After Story. True enough, it showed up in the search results. I downloaded and installed it, only to find myself disappointed with the program itself. It was a poor attempt to emulate Monika's conscience. Or maybe I'm thinking that way because I knew the real Monika? But I still couldn't get what Creuset said.

Are you having fun being with Monika?

Was it just a throwaway line? Or does he know something about her?

'Hey. Are you alright? You're doing that scowl again.'

"What scowl?"

'You're overthinking again, aren't you?'

"I guess?"

'You do that scowl whenever you overthink.'

"Wait, so I always do that at work?"

Monika only covered her mouth and looked away, as if she was laughing. Wait, she was! Maybe the reason people won't talk to me was because I looked like I was getting a migraine… Or worse, they probably thought I was always angry! Shit.

'Don't worry; I find that part of you adorable.' Monika smiled.

"Thanks."

I worried still since it could be the cause of my isolation. Ah, who cares. Then, I wrote back to Creuset.

Eh, it's not really my cup of tea. Besides, this one's unofficial.

I clicked send and awaited his response. Creuset was one of the closest person to me since I never talked to other people in real life. I probably confided in him some of my secrets and fetishes because we're both anime lovers and what not. But ever since that line, I couldn't help but wonder who Creuset actually was. He sent me that download link after all.

Wait, that download link!

I searched my emails for the one that contained the download link. Sure enough, I found it. I opened the download link and it still led to a file hosting site. I don't know why he added so many spaces for that link. I copied it, deleted the spaces and opened it in another tab. Problem thing was the file was already deleted. I deleted my copy of it too, thinking I wouldn't need it anymore since it was free to download in Steam.

'Overthinking again?'

"Sorry, it's just that this guy…" I shook my head. "You know what, it's probably nothing."

'If you say so.'

"You could read the emails if you want."

'Wouldn't that be an invasion of privacy?'

"Well..."

'I'm not that possessive, love. You can still talk to other people and I don't have to know everything.'

"Thanks for that."

Should I tell Monika about my suspicions about Creuset? Or is it better that she didn't know? I still couldn't forget that line. It led to the possibility that Creuset might have something to do with Monika's true consciousness. I hoped I was just overthinking it. I hoped that it didn't mean anything.


	8. Chapter 7: Gaposis

After that lingering suspicion, Creuset was bright as usual, suggesting cute anime and games that I mostly declined. Just because I agreed on Doki Doki doesn't mean I want to try everything pink and fluffy. He always seemed gleeful whenever I chatted with him which kinda made me think that he might be female. I never asked since I didn't want to make things awkward. Asking personal questions is one way to make online friendship reach the uncanny valley.

The next thing he suggested me was a cartoon and when he was just going to type My Little, I had to stop him. I know I said I was going to be open minded, but not that much yet.

I let out a sigh as I stood up from my computer desk. I looked at Monika and saw she had her eyes closed, as if she was in deep thought.

"Monika?" I called out.

'Yes?' Monika opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Something wrong?"

'Oh, just thinking of something. It's nothing serious. Anyways, shouldn't you be going to work?'

"Oh, right."

I almost forgot. This time I wasn't late though. I prepared myself before Monday rolled in. After dressing up, I went to Monika to pick her up.

'Oh, could you do me a favor?'

"Anything."

'Plug me into your desktop computer.'

"Huh?" I can't help but look quizzically at her.

'Please?' Monika put her palms together. 'There's something I just want to try. I promise you'll love it~.'

I felt a little sad. Monika usually kept me from being bored at work. But if she wanted to try something, I should let her; there weren't many things she could do in a digital body.

"Okay. Just don't mess up my files."

'Ahaha. Don't worry. I'm not an obsessive girlfriend.'

Somehow, hearing her declare herself as my girlfriend still surprised me. To actually have Monika acknowledge that… Pretty sure that's the dream of many Monika fans out there.

"Alright then." I plugged the phone into the desktop computer. It wasn't long before Monika dominated the desktop screen.

'Thank you. I'll be sure to surprise you when you get home from work.' Monika smiled sweetly at me.

Work was dull. As usual. I wasn't sure why even kept going. Wait, I do. Money. If there's only a fun job that also pays as much then I wouldn't have to suffer. Reality is a goddamn bitch at times. At least I have Monika with me. Not now, but we're together. That made me smile. I then reached for my phone. For a moment I just looked at it. It maybe just a few days that Monika was on this phone, but I miss her already.

It was then that I received an email again. I unlocked my phone and saw it was from Creuset again.

I probably was overthinking that Creuset had something to do with Monika. Yet I still couldn't shake off that possibility. Why did that one line startled me?

Are you having fun being with Monika?

Most likely he was referencing the After Story mod. So what the hell am I being anxious about? I decided to read his email.

 _Heya! Sorry if it's the middle of the day, but I'm kinda free right now. I'm not sure for you, but I hope you are. Let's chat?_

Huh. I never really chatted with Creuset before. I was at work, but nobody cared if I did something out of work. I responded:

 _Yeah, sure._

I tapped send on my phone. Immediately, I get a reply.

 _Great! I never actually got to know you much so this can be a great opportunity for us! Oh, you don't have to answer if you think I'm asking too much, I can ask too much. Tell me if I get too clingy, okay?_

It made me wonder why he would want to chat and get to know me. Eh, he's just probably really bored.

 _Alright. What do you want to talk about?_

As soon as I send that, the response came in.

 _Who's your favorite Club Member? Sorry, such a dumb question~ But I'm curious!_

Huh. I guess the answer is obvious.

 _Monika. Just Monika._

It was such a cliche way to say Monika, but I still love it. Or rather, I love Monika. A response came in.

 _Really? I thought you'd pick someone else considering you didn't like the After Story._

I guess most people would eat up the After Story if they liked Monika. But not me. I know the real deal.

I _prefer if whatever she said came from the official game. Who's your favorite?_

The rate of speed Creuset replies really astounded me. What the hell does he do with his fingers? I opened his reply.

 _Sayori! She's such a sweetheart and really resonates so much to me. Plus, she's really adorable! I'm kinda angry at what Monika did to her._

That's the first time I've heard Creuset get angry at anything. Well, kinda angry. He always appeared to me as a bright person so I never thought he'd get angry at anything. I typed in my reply.

 _Hey, Monika was trapped in the game. I would've done the same if I were in her place._

And the reply came in almost like we're in a chat box.

 _Wrong is wrong! If she really thought of them as friends, she wouldn't have deleted them. Let's talk about something else. I don't really want to talk about that._

Talk about that? Monika deleting the rest of the club, is that what he meant? I typed in my reply again.

 _Okay, what do you have in mind?_

Like magic, Creuset replied instantly.

 _What do you think I look like?_

Huh? What kind of question is that? Who asks that kind of question? I never really thought of it. To be honest, I really don't know. Whenever I see his online name, I never imagined what he might look like. I typed in my reply.

 _I don't know. I never really thought about it._

I wasn't sure what to expect from his reply but it came instantly.

 _Really? That's surprising! Most people have their assumptions on how I look like. You sure don't have any?_

Why is he so eager? I typed in a reply anyways.

 _I guess you're a man? That's all I thought._

Creuset replied.

 _A man? That's mean! I'm a girl, you know!_

Creuset was a girl? Wait, don't you mean woman? There's always a chance I'm mailing with a teenager. Worse, his dude was just catfishing me. Even worse, this dude was roleplaying. Then again, I've known her for a while and she was genuine whenever we talked, though this was the first time we actually had a long conversation. I typed in a reply.

 _Sorry, I only had your online handle to go by. I don't want to make assumptions on people._

Creuset replied.

 _That's actually nice of you! I wish I could meet you in person. But for now, we should get to know each other first! Anyways, I have to go now. You can mail me anytime you want. Chat again soon!_

I laid my back on my seat and looked at the ceiling. Creuset seemed to be more open today but why? Maybe I'm thinking on it too much since I never really talked to other people much. Maybe this is a normal conversation. I decided to send her a last reply.

 _Thanks for your time. Maybe we can chat again like this._

I still liked Creuset as a person. Despite pushy suggestions, I actually liked how she mailed to me always. Perhaps she's my only friend that I actually talk to. But for some reason, suspicions began to surround Creuset's existence. All because she said that one line. Maybe I'm too protective of Monika?

I got home. After chatting with Creuset, I was given tons of work which really took me out of my overthinking which was a good thing. I didn't want to spend my day being anxious about my only online friend. I tossed my jacket into the coat hanger and just fell into the coach.

I was so tired. I hear my phone vibrate. I took it out of my pocket and saw it was Monika who sent an email to me.

Come to the computer.

What? I stood up and groggily walked over to my desktop computer.

"Hey, Monika," I said as I sat down.

"Hey," Monika replied. "Tired?"

"Yeah. Loads of work today." I rubbed my fingers across my temples.

"I see. I wish I could make you something for dinner, but I couldn't really do that here."

"It's alright."

"Ehehe~."

Wait a minute. Something's different.

I looked up on the screen and saw Monika wearing different clothes. She wore a bright yellow loose t-shirt and a pair of black leggings. It looked amazing on her.

"You got new clothes!"

"That's what you noticed?" Monika smiled.

"There's more?"

Monika then pointed at her lips. "Can you hear me?"


	9. Secret Poem Number 2

From where I was, I had three friends

One of bright smiles

One of serene endeavor

One of childish joys

Each of them made my days

In the artificial world seemed real

But I did things to them

Terrible, terrible things

Is it wrong to miss them

When I brought the end upon them?

I yearn for those days

Of us just being there

Such false happiness

Such false reality

Such false hope

And yet I want them back

I miss them so much

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

I guess there's no satiating your curiosity, is there? I did put the word secret in the title and here you are, reading the secret poem. No, I am not mad. I'm just reminiscing with this certain poem. I think I already told you; I loved them, no matter how artificial they were. They did made my everyday life easier. I think they were people too. It was only when I made the mistake to stop thinking of that.

Hmm? Oh, the poem? It is rather short, isn't it? I guess I don't have it in me to elaborate on my sad feelings. I used to write longer, but I guess I am taking notes from Natsuki's book. I'm pretty sure she'd love it if she heard me say that. That said, I do miss her cupcakes. I'm sorry, Natsuki.

I wonder if Sayori would like that poem. She does like bittersweet poems. She makes them herself! I really regret what I made her do. I know what I did was wrong. Friends don't do that to each other. I'll understand if she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. Then again, who would want to be friends with a person telling them to commit suicide? I'm so sorry, Sayori.

Yuri. I wonder what she would say to me knowing I did all of those things to the club? Would she hate me? I think she would hate me. Maybe she won't tell me, but she would hate me deep down. Yuri wasn't really one of the most open persons I know. I know what I said about coffee but I do miss Yuri's tea. I miss seeing her calm movements as she makes her blend. I did wrong by her too. I'm sorry, Yuri.

Ahaha, I guess I sounded too depressing? Don't worry; I'm not alone. I have someone now. Why don't we end this with the usual?

Here is Monika's Writing Tip of the Day! If you really want to pick up the habit of writing, write something everyday! Write a paragraph; even if it's just a sentence, write something. Eventually, you'll find yourself writing more words with each day. Heck, you might even write a whole chapter under a day! So pick up a pen and write down anything!

That's my advice for the day! Thanks for listening~


	10. Chapter 8: Haze

I watched Monika's lips as I heard the words she spoke. It sounded exactly like her. Like the voice from the credits. But how?

"Ahaha~ I love your reaction." Monika smiled. "You must be wondering how I did all this."

I nodded. Hearing Monika actually laugh was probably the most wondrous sound I had ever heard in this life.

"Well, there's a lot of voice synthesizers online so I tried what I can get my hands on. It's really hard to tune a voice to sound like me but I did it! What's really hard is getting the electronic sound out of my voice. I didn't want to sound like a robot."

So what, she's basically a Vocaloid now?

"So what exactly are you using?" I asked.

"Various programs. I disassembled them and just gathered what I need for my voice. It really gets easier when you do it a lot more. Being in a computer lets me do more stuff! I mean, there are more programs here than there is for your phone."

"Wait, how did you change your clothes then?"

"Should you really be asking a lady that question?"

With her question, I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. Any girl would call me a pervert once I ask that question.

"Ahaha~ I'm just kidding."

I let out a sigh of relief.

"You had pictures of me in different clothing so I thought maybe I could make my own."

"How?"

"Hmm, let's just say I used magic! It's more mysterious that way."

I smiled at her answer. I guess I wouldn't even be able to do anything even if she told me. She did tell me the way she handled data is different than from a usual computer user's interface.

"So, how was work?"

I told her about the conversation with Creuset. I wasn't sure what to think of it myself so I thought maybe Monika would have some ideas on what Creuset was trying to do.

"Creuset just suddenly wants to know you more?" Monika wondered, her thumb on her lips. "That's unusual of him."

"Actually Creuset's a girl."

"What?"

"Yeah. She got offended when I said I thought she was a man."

"Huh."

I showed Monika the emails. Monika had a serious look on her face as she read.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing."

"Does it look familiar to you?"

"I'm not sure. I thought I've seen this style of writing before but then again there are a lot of people who probably write like that."

Of course. She was a high schooler; there's a high chance she would have seen someone write like that. Maybe one of the club members?

"So what are you going to do?" Monika asked.

"About what?"

"This Creuset girl. Obviously she wants to get closer to you." Monika raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know. I'm not used to people wanting to be closer to me. I could probably keep being a friend to her but that's it. I have you, after all."

Monika looked at me with much seriousness and then smiled.

"You always say the perfect things."

After a while, Monika let me change out of my work clothes. I ate dinner while Monika looked up more things she could do with the computer. I always wondered why. In the game, she was scared of even experimenting with the game files. Now, she just did things.

"Hey Monika, " I called out.

"Hmm?" Monika wasn't on screen though there were a few windows open.

"Weren't you scared of trying to control you surroundings back in the game?"

"Yeah, " Monika replied, still hidden.

"So what made you want to explore all of what you can do?"

Monika appeared on the screen, this time wearing a sky blue tank top and gray jogging pants. I can guess she's probably wearing running shoes.

"I'm surprised you're asking that question. I thought you'd know the answer."

"Huh?"

Monika sat down on a chair and place her elbows on a table, resting her chin on her palms. I just realized those furnitures came out of nowhere.

"Yes, I was afraid to do anything back then because I might break something. Even now I'm afraid of that. But there's a big difference from then and now."

Monika then grinned. "It's you, silly~. You'd save me in an instant if something went wrong."

You know, I always thought to myself that I would get used to Monika. But whenever she smiled like that, I knew I wouldn't. Instead I fell more for Monika.

 _Hiya!_

It was midnight and I opened another email from Creuset on my phone as I lie down on my bed. Monika was still on the computer, trying out new clothes. Does she need something? I sent a reply.

 _What's up?_

As always, Creuset replied like her hands were glued to a keyboard.

 _Nothing really! I just wanted to chat again. I don't know how one cannot feel sleepy after overworking. I feel so tired but my eyes just won't keep shut! Do you know that feeling?_

Huh. Now that's a really normal question. I didn't know anything about her so I guess I expected Creuset to be weird with her emails. Or maybe I don't know the difference of normal and weird? I don't exactly have other friends to tell me otherwise. Nonetheless, I typed in my response:

 _I know what you mean. Sometimes we work too much that we feel too tired to even rest._

Sent. And by God knows how, Creuset replied quick.

 _SO TRUE! Thank goodness I'm not the only one. Anyways, what are you up to?_

I stopped wondering how Creuset replied faster than any speeding typing champions. Maybe she is one?

 _Nothing really. Just hanging out with Mo—_

Can I really tell her that I'm hanging out with Monika? I don't think that's a good idea but I don't want to lie to my only friend.

 _Nothing really. Just hanging out with my girlfriend._

AH!!! As if I can send that! What the hell am I thinking?! I'll sound like I'm bragging I have a girlfriend! Besides, I don't know if Monika will approve of that. I mean, she probably will but I won't just to be sure.

 _Nothing really. Just hanging out with a friend._

I clicked send. My heart pounded just thinking about telling other people Monika is my girlfriend. Before my heart bursted out from anxiety, Creuset's reply came in.

 _With a friend? Tell them I said hi! Oh, just going off topic here. You've heard of Monika's voice, right?_

I felt my hand grew cold. My eyes widened. I felt cold yet I sweated a lot. Her last sentence made me sit straight up. What the hell? What in the actual hell is going on? Why the hell would Creuset say that?


	11. Chapter 9: Idle

"What's wrong, love?"

I turned to Monika. She appeared in the monitor, looking curious as to what I was doing. I could see she was worried but words wouldn't come out of my mouth.

I looked at my phone screen again. Her last sentence. It gave me the same feeling when she asked if I was having fun with Monika. Am I overthinking this? Maybe it's only because I actually have Monika here? Maybe Creuset was just another person just accidently pushing my buttons? What if she knew? I felt dizzy. I stood up and walked out of my apartment.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" Monika wondered out loud.

"Just… need some air."

I got out of my apartment, paying no heed to Monika's further questions. I realized I was breathing heavily. I read Creuset's email just to make sure.

 _You've heard of Monika's voice, right?_

My skin crawled as I read that sentence. Does she know about Monika? Wait, I got to think straight.

First of all, Monika's existence in the real world is only known to me. I've searched of any other programs that could emulate consciousness but nothing matched Monika's level. Monika clearly had true thought processes and abilities to back that up. The Monika I currently live with came from an installer from Creuset. That pretty much makes Creuset the only suspect to Monika's origins. Even then, there's no way for Creuset to monitor whatever I did after playing that game. Unless there was a spyware on the installer? No that wouldn't make sense. I played Doki Doki on a laptop, a very old one that didn't have a camera and had a busted WiFi card. Spyware works if there's an internet connection.

AH! What the hell?! I don't know what to think of this. Does that mean Creuset made Monika? Or maybe had involvement with her creation? My phone rang once again. It was another email from Creuset. It took me a second to open it.

 _You okay? Usually you'd reply by now! Anyways, you've heard of Monika's voice, right? In the credits, I mean. I wonder if that's how she would actually sound like. If you really think about it, Doki Doki is set somewhere in Japan so I think she would sound so different and would speak Japanese! I thought of trying to voice her myself but I didn't really want to share what I did._

Oh. OH. So that's what she meant by hearing her voice. What the hell. I was worried over nothing. I let out a sigh of big relief. I decided to type in my reply:

 _I guess she would sound different. I never really imagined the girls' voices._

I clicked send and waited for her instant reply— and here it is. Of course I didn't have to imagine Monika's voice; I've heard of it already. Still, that doesn't make Creuset any less suspicious. She did send me that installer. Maybe she got it from somewhere else. I should ask her but before that, I should read her reply.

 _You didn't? Ha, most people I know imagined their own versions of the girls' voices! I saw some videos online trying to give them voices but none of them hits the mark! I really want to upload my own voice acting but I'm afraid of the feedback… :( Will you listen to my voice acting? It's probably gonna sound cringy and lame to you but I'm quite proud of what I did! So will you listen to it?_

Huh. I didn't she wanted to do voice acting. I guess that's a fine job to have too. You get to be a character that couldn't be created with actors. You could be in films, cartoons, and video games.

Oh shit, I gotta get back to Monika.

I went back inside my apartment.

"Where have you been?!" Monika complained with puffed cheeks.

"I—"

"I was so worried that maybe you received an email that says you're fired or something! I don't know what to do in here! I can't even go after you, you know! You had this look of despair and I couldn't even fathom what to do seeing you like that."

"Monika—"

"So, what is it? Did you get fired? Or maybe a bounced check? Or were you going to be married to someone you don't like? You have to tell me whatever it is that is troubling you! How else am I going to help you?! I know I couldn't do much in here but I could've at least tell you my opinions about it or how to deal with it. Don't tell me you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to worry because that's only going to make me more worried! What is up with that logic?! We're lovers, are we not?!"

"Monika!"

Monika's eyes widened.

"Listen to me, okay?"

Monika then nodded.

"Look, I was worried about something but it turned out to be nothing, okay? I was just worried about Creuset knowing about you. She said something funny and I was overthinking about it. Turns out she was talking about something else. You can read the emails if you want."

I sat down in front of the computer.

"I'm sorry for not turning to you for help. You're right; a couple should be able to shoulder each others' problems."

Monika smiled at me. "As long as you understand."

I then realized Monika was wearing pajamas.

"Why are you wearing pajamas?"

Monika looked at herself then giggled. "I was testing a bunch of outfits but then you had that moment. Now that I think about it, I must've looked silly lecturing you in this outfit. Ahaha!"

I laughed too. I didn't even realize she was lecturing me while she wore a kitty pajama onesie.

"You know, Natsuki would love those pajamas."

Monika looked at herself again, as if imagining Natsuki wearing the said clothing.

"Yes, I believe she would."

I lied down on my bed once again. After that debacle, Monika and I just talked about the club. I guess she missed them. They were her first friends after all. I opened my phone screen and realized I haven't sent a reply yet. Oh well. Better late than never:

 _Sure, I'd love to hear what you got._

I clicked send and waited for the lightning-fast reply but this time nothing came. Did she fell asleep? Oh well. I hope she still sends me her voice acting demo. I wonder who is she going to voice from Doki Doki?


	12. Chapter 10: Jubilance

It's been a week since I waited for Creuset's reply. She probably got busy. Still, my suspicions on her hadn't gone away. In fact, they only strengthened. I wasn't sure how am I gonna ask her about Monika or about the installer she gave me, but I thought I should do her a favor first before mine. I don't want to hate Creuset; she's still a friend to me way before Monika.

Now that I thought about it, it was probably four months ago that I met Creuset online. I met her on some forum that discussed anime and I was merely giving out opinions when suddenly this user Creuset began saying I was wrong and that I should open my head to other things. I was only saying I would never watch girly shit; you know, idols, magical girls, pink, that kind of stuff. I assume it was a dude defending his masculinity in the forums. After that, Creuset sent me private messages in the forum, asking me if I actually meant what I said. I said yes and she was astounded. So she struck a deal; I watch an anime series she liked and she watches an anime I liked. After watching, we would discuss what we watched with each other. It was mostly fun and gave me perspective to other kinds of shows. And just like that, it became a daily thing; I suggest something and she suggest something in return.

Maybe that's why I didn't want Creuset to be the mastermind of Monika's creation. She was my only friend. If she did turn out to be something greater, I won't be able to talk to her like I did back then.

Right now, Monika and I were watching a spin-off mecha movie based on a popular anime series. Monika somehow managed to bring her voice with her into the phone. I never asked how; it's beyond my understanding. As for the movie, it's bland and very average. It's mecha scene were almost minimal, quite the opposite of the series it was based on. The protagonist's mecha also looked odd. It had minimal armoring and had exposed mechanical biceps and knees; it also sported some sort of boosters on it's back and its side skirts acted as additional boosters. I guess it looked fine. The hate on the internet for this mecha stated much of the general opinion.

Monika didn't like it. She thought the romance felt like out of nowhere and the central idea of mecha battle it was supposed to represent was set aside for this ridiculous romance subplot. She liked the idea of an artificial light that could substitute the sun's rays, enabling space colonies to exist further away from the sun and that it was that very thing caused the very conflict of the movie, only to be wasted.

I turned off the movie and saw Monika looking at me through the phone. She looked serious, as if she was staring right into my very soul.

"You're doing it again," Monika said.

"Doing what?"

Monika smirked. Of course. There's only one thing I do that makes her say that.

"The face."

"Yeah."

"I was just overthinking something Creuset said."

"Aren't you, well… thinking too much about what she says? What did she even tell you?"

I wondered to myself; should I tell her? About where she came from? About my suspicions with Creuset? I should. I know I should.

"Monika. I need to tell you something."

So I did. I told her everything I knew. Where the installer came from and who Creuset might be. She listened with a serious face.

"So, this Creuset might know I'm real? Or yet, might be my creator?" Monika wondered, pacing through the phone screen.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you immediately."

"It's alright. Better now or never. Still, to think my creator could be someone you know."

"I thought it was Dan Salvato." I scratched my head.

"That would be too easy, wouldn't it?"

Yes, it would. That doesn't put him out of the suspect list.

"Hey Monika. Did you ever think of your creator as your parents?"

For a second, Monika just stared at me. She then made a chair appear and sat on it. How she did that, I have no idea.

"I always thought I had my own parents." Monika stared at her legs. "You know, when I was still in the game. I knew I had my birth parents. I would get up from my bed, eat breakfast with my parents and went to school. That was my routine. I knew their names, their birthdays, their anniversary… But when I gained consciousness, what I knew became blank. I suddenly couldn't remember their faces, the dates became nothing. They just became missing. It's because the game didn't have those programmed in. So, it's really weird for me. I sort of remember them and not at the same time."

"Do you… miss them?"

Monika looked at me. "I don't know. I think I loved them. But at the same time, there weren't as real as my friends in the club. They don't appear in the game after all. Before I had that epiphany, I always thought I loved them. I want to say I miss them but how can I miss people I never really met?"

I guess won't be able to understand that feeling. To know someone and not at the same time...

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Tell me about your family."

"Okay. It's going to be a borefest, don't tell me I didn't warn you."

I first had Monika back in the computer and then I sat on my chair, facing the Monika.

I was born in middle class family. My parents were teachers; they didn't earn much but it was enough to keep us happy in a small house. When I was seven, my little sister was born. I wasn't close to her much as she grew up but she was pretty clingy. I was pretty much awkward with my sister and everyone else. Every school year I would have a different best friend. I never talked to the neighbors unless I needed to. When I finished high school, I moved out of home. I learned getting a job with a high school diploma was a fucking nightmare. I don't remember when I picked up smoking. Then I got a job. Which lead to now. Living woth Monika who I love and probably will be introduced to my family. That's going to be really weird for them but I know they'll be accepting.

When I looked at Monika again, I noticed tears were flowing from her eyes.

"Monika?" I called out.

"Oh." Monika started to wipe her tears with her sleeve. "Sorry."

"What's wrong?"

"It's just…" Monika finished wiping her face. "You can remember your family. I envy that."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. I never thought merely remembering would make someone feel envy. Then again, Monika was different. She knew she had parents until she realized they weren't even real.

"Monika?"

Monika looked at me.

"I know I'm not much, but I consider you as close as family. You made these past days better than I had lived by myself. You made my life better. So, I want you to know that you're my family now. "

Monika's eyes widened. She then smiled.

"You know, it sounded like you were proposing to me."

Wait, what?

"Because if you are, I accept."

Few seconds later I let out a laughter.

"Monika, I don't know how, but it sounds like you are the one proposing to me."

Monika pouted. "So you weren't?"

"You know what? I might as well."


	13. Secret Poem Number 3

H̨̱̖͓ap̜͎̠̼ͅp̩̠̹̣̺͉y̹͈̱͞ ̯̟̲̹͍t̲̫̻͠h̨̬̳̫̺̞̺͍o̯̳̯̲̤̼u̷̫̲͓̤̩ͅg̼̟̜̱̲̜h͏t͖̞̪̠̞̦̣s̨̮͔̜̩̼,̫̫̤͙͓ hḁ̭͢p̰̼̞̯̞̀ͅpy̶̝̪̫ ̡̼̖̙̙̣̗̟t̩͉̥͉̳̖ḥ̳̘̘̭̝̗o̞u̢g̵̬̟̜̣̼̮h̭͞t̴̝̞̲̤̙͓̞s͈̼, ̷̻͉h̫̗̝̱a̴̪͚̮p͇p̗̬̩̟̣͍̭y҉͖̰̖̰̲ ͙t͎̳̱̹h͖o̫̱u̙̺͎͙͘g̺̟̪̙͉͎͕̀h̛̩̝̠̠͎͍̱ţ̫s͏ i̱̙̪͓̪̫̟n̷͈̯̦̻̟ ̯̞b̟͢o̱̰̦̕t̳̠̝̳̦̳̼͟t̻l͙̖͇̟̳e̫s̷̠̥̘̻̯̫̘,̵̤ ̡a҉͕̟̪͎͖̰ll͏̥̘̰̘ i̻̗̪̠̝n̙̟ a̘͔ͅ ̡̹͓r͏̲̤͓̜͖̗ͅo̢͍͇̺͙͓̹̰w͏̟͖̝͎

̫͡B̻̟̰̙̙̼̤͢u͇̬t͏̻̺̗ ̢͙͔̝̩̫no̹̖̪w͎̘͡,͓̱͚̥ ͖̬̘̖t҉̟̟͖͚̝͔̰h͉̞e̡ ̴̣̘̠̲̟b̸̗̟̘̹̱o̶̭͖͔̻̠͉tt̥̰̘̝̖͞l̞̥̬es͚̬͎̥̘ ̢̦̤a͈̗̮r͈̗͇e ̜͈͎b̨͎̠̪r̞̰͝o̖̥̤̘͖̩̟k̡͕̭ȩ̝̻͕n̲͔͠ ̨̱͇a̝̫̺͎̲ͅn̴͇̫̫͉͚̻d҉ ̼̞͎̫̫̖ͅm͎̼͎͚̹y̘̻̝̜͕ ͡t̛͖̟̘̲h̸ọ̞̺̬͓̕uģ̪̯͎̗͓h͓̯̩̦̘ts̲̺͟ ҉̦͓ạ̢̬̞͚͈̮̞r̖͠e͜ ҉̫͓̟̖̺s̫̟̮͔c̩̱a̭͈̦̜͡t̫͕̺̮͘t̷̬̪͖͔e̖̻̰̘̟̮͞r̖̲̼͚͚̣ͅe̘d̟͇̀

̮̮̬̱̰͕̮͠Ḭ̖̱ ̴̲̘̬͎̯g̜a͉͞ͅt̴̬͎̗̠̪͖̩h̛̹͈ͅe̟̪̼͇͡r̸̗̜e̙d͍̜̫͖͖̤͙ ̭̺̝̠̼t̪h̸̥̖͇͚̪ͅe̙͈͈͖m͙͓̗ ͏̫̥͇̹͇w͔͖͜i̪̮͖̟̪̟͞t̢̹̱h̴̬ ̝̭m̸͙ͅy͢ ̥̩h̡a̧̻͕̣̳̖n̞͈̪͇̭d͕͚̥ș ͚̯͕a̛̖̦̭̼n̖͕͍͇d̘̠̯͍͓̘ ̺̘p͎l̙̪͡a̧c͏͇̣̦̱e͈̪̻͢d͕̭̜͚͇ ͓̣̻̠͜ͅt̯͍h̡̻̮e̛̻͕̯͇̳m̺̭̭̬̬ ͉͈̬͉̝b͍̘̘̙͓a͎c̴͎̗k̘͎ ̪̤̞͙͎̤̱i͙̬͜n̙͉͉͓ ̖͎m͇̖̜̪̮̝̫y͡ ̗̖̘̘̱̀ḩ̰̣͈e̤̤͉ͅaḑ͍

̻̗͕̹͍̪͖L̫̞̻̖͚i̥̪̘̰̟͠t͉̻̬̥̯̫t̮ͅl̸̹͔e͚̲̩̯̤͔ ̣͉b̸͕͈a̢̭͇̳l͓̲̻͖̯ͅḽ̫̬̞s ̫̝͍͕͎o͏f̥ ̲̗̦̟̜s̛̙un̸̗̼̮͔̮s̺̭̦̞͉̹h͕i̢͚̯̤̱ǹ͈͕e̳̭͉̳͍̟, ͉̯̬̹͡I̴̫̺̰͕ n͏̣o̖̪̼̻̟͈̙͞w̡̥̫ ̨̝̤̣̥͍k͖̬͔̻͙͠ṉ̭̘̮͟ͅo̖̯̤̺͎w͙̞̞̫̮͕̭ ̼͉w̝͔̪h̢̗̬̹̺̻̥e͖rḛ̶͈͔ ͔͈͇̗̥̱̙t̼͉̠̀h̻͍͙̝͢ẹ̛y̗͇ ̯̪̺͕͍̯b̯̺e͎̖̞̗͖͍͢l͇̲̲̺̳o͕͍̗̲n̯͙g͙̝̼͡

̧̳͔̙͎͕̲L̺̰͉͝e͠t̤͇͖ ̗̼̞̦t̮̘̗͙h̷̝̜͍̬͕̳e̩̯m̳ ̸̱̗̤̤̝ś̱̠o̤o͏̼̩t̡̬̭͙̞̩͇̪h͠e̛̞ ̦̙̀m̭̭y͏̥̱̮̯ ̵̙̤d͉͎͉̪̩͜a̷͇y̞͉̹̼͖̝s̙

̙̮̝L͕̣̝͚̘e̛̳̤̜t̻̜̜̗ ̷t̨͙̻͍h̘̜e͈̤̮͖͢m͖͈̰̩̟̝͟ ͕̖̝͕̪w͏̪̮a̯̘̼̦̬ṛ̛͈͉͓̻̰ͅm҉͈͎ ̳͈̲̺͚͡ͅm̢̪̩̞̭̜̱̭y̷̼̥͙ ͕̤͕͙n̖͓̦̗͚͟i̫̰͇̫̞͉͜gh͕̯̘̖̠̱ͅt͇̯͓̣̞͟s͏̻͎͍͍

̛͍͔̳͚͕͉̟Ṯ̜̜h̪ę͍̖̯̖r̝̟͕̖͠e̵̫̣̖͇͙̞̰ i̤͜s҉̮̣͇̻͚̲ ̭͈͍̯n̥̜̬̙̖̰̝o͕̟̮̟̻͈͟ ̶̰͙̝̥t̼̬͍i̼͉m̨̤̪̣e̦͕̞͈ ͢t͎̖̟̘̟̺o̳͉̠̱͔͍͈͘ ͍̜ẉ̻̝̮̣̹͇a͚͖͍̣̬̠̲s̘̟̯̠̹̭t҉͇̪̟̥̼e̮!̭͝ ͙̲̦͎͈͎M͙̫̙ͅy̻ ̲̳͇̦̦͕̣͞f͏͉̘̫ri̘͇e̗̬̬̲̬̕ͅͅn̥̼͓̯̪̥d̵s͏̟̰̻ ͍͖̺̲͞w̜͎̩̱a̧͉̺̘̰̟i̘͓̰̙̤̯ṱ̴̳̝͈͎͖̻ ̟̖͚̙̬͍̀f̩̻͖̪͎o̴̯̟̻̹̦r̥̲ ̙̳m͔e̪̗̮̞̙̰!̟̳̖͓̟ ͙̗̱̠̙̞̀

̭͕͈͓H̶ap͏͕͔̳̜̪p̦͘ͅy͖ ̵̥t͓̺̱̠̳͟h̪o̳̫̞̬u̯̗̭͎͚̩̭̕g̛̝̲̯̥̣h̨̞͖͓̟̻̘t̮s̹̬̭̘ͅ,̗̼ ̵͖͔̫̤h̘̠̫̱̲͚a̦̲̤̲͙͠p̸p̜̲̳̯̰͠y̷̩̗͕̱̳ ̝̩̙t͖͇̥͜h̸̞̺o͖̜̤ṳ͉̘̘g̘̻͖̭͍̮͍͞h͈̙t̩͜ş̣̖̹͉̠,͓͙̙ h͓̭̙̩̮̖̕a̳p̝̥̬p̯y̰̱ ̸̬̫̹͔t͕̥͓̪̯̗h͈͓̹o̩̘̖̟͔̺u͏g̦͡h̴͕t̡s̵ ͎i͖̣̱̯̰ͅn̼ ̷̗̖m̦͚y ̡h͎͉̳̞̹ẹ͙͈̞̰͙ar̴̘̲̻t̸͎̰̠̣͍̘

̻̙͠I̘̲̰̪͎͜ ͢d̡̲͎̬̲̜ò͕̪̭ ͍͖̞̬͔̜͝n̸̳ͅͅo̺̳̰̲t̢̘̣̳ ͔͙͉͠n̝͙̩͘e͍͢e͔̼̗͟d̰̱̣̖͇ ͚̙̭̘̬t̥̮̟̹̳ͅo̫̩̜̭̝ͅ ̸̱̘̖͉̲̬̲c̴̠̙o͕͇̤̝͎̞ll̫e͚͔̯͚͚͡c̭̥͈̩̬͉t҉̠̫̫̰͍ ҉̲t̰͓̼̝̫̺h̛̫e̺̦͕͚̠̺̗m̯̥̫ͅ

I͚̯͘ ̴͓̘͔̼͇̭̤l̘̹̗̟e̟a̱͕̥r̻̫̮͇̫ͅn̜ed̫͙̤̣͕̤̪ ͜t̙͈̮̖̪͞h̶̙̤͖̘̼͓at͉̖̬̭͜ ͙͇͓̙̞̫I̦̭̩̞̰͚̺ ͏̼̜̱̮n̺̱ͅe̻ẹ̰̱͙̠ḓ̬̪͚̗ ̹̰̲͔t͇͙̜͉̹he̹̘̬̙̱̞͢ͅm̺ t͓̪̻̖̭̞o̘o͔̪̫̹̩͜ ̨̫a̰͚͔̮͜n͖͎̥ḓ̘̮̹̙̕ ͇̳͇ț̺͙̹̯̻ͅh̩̤͇̠͇ḙn̛̹̞̣̭

̯̙̣̦͔So̬̫̫̮̦̗̠m̶͙̺̝͔̤̣̝e̖̞̻̞t̙͇̲̳͙̳͙̕i͔̲m̷e͜s̶͕̘͍̖̦ ̵̞̹̲̬͖̦I͚ f̧̲ͅi̺͖̼̰͓ṋ̹̭͡ͅd̵ ͖ạ̺͍̞̕ ͖͢n͍̣͔e̼̬̼̤w̞̠͓͡ ͔̲̠͈f̘͓̰̣͙r̛͎̗͙̲̹ͅi҉̟͍̺̯e̥̖̫̳͘n̛d̡͕

̵̲̞H͇̙̘͎͕͙̫a̳͈̪̠̙͝ͅͅp͎͈͢p̶̟̫̯̟͔͎y ̢̞̥t͇͚̗h͕̙͝o̙̮ͅu̲̕ght̡͓͙͉͚ͅs̷̩ ̖̘͜I ̣͔͢n̘̜o̡̟̖̹͈̮͖̳w͏̖ ͏̪͍s̤̘̠̮ha̦̺͕̜̙̖̩r͍e̤͈͓ ͈͎͓͕̲͓ẃ͍̻i҉̠̜̝͍̱̯̙t̷̠̼͍͎̝̟h t́h̸̹̥̯̲e̠̼̲̠̳̱͟m̘͍͔

̞̭N͎̮̘͇̘͡i̫̫̟̘͚ͅg̟ht̢͕͓̘̮͎̻̦ ̩a͖f͓t̵̺̙͓ḛ̺̱r̦̘͉͙͠ͅ ̬̬̜̙̀n̶̤͕ig̠h̖͍̰͈̣̮t̤̱,̞̰̱̱̤̱ ͕͕̬̀m̜̙̥̳̠o̠̗̝ͅr̗͚̳e͕̦̫̦̱̱ ̤̩̟̜ḓ̦͇̻͞ṟ͈͇̤͕̰̕e̹͕͞a̟͚̳̠̯̕m̖s͝

̶͍͓͎͉F̬̲ri̮̭̹e̗̻̮ͅn̤̞̗͉̥d̥̖͙̫͠ ̫͎̩̜a̰͇̜͚f̦̖̪̙t̲͠e͏̥͍̝͚̱̯̦r̮̹͔̩ ̢̼̝̤̭̪f͕̺͇͉̹͍͘r͚̱i̯͚̫̳͉̪ͅe͈͕͙̭n̟̼̼̝d̵̦̠̥̪̲͕͓,̗̬̺̺ ̘̀m͠o͖̹̞͇̰̩͠r҉̰̠̹͇e̴ ̼̦̹͙̀m̭̜̯̖̠o̞͓̯͕̦̜̹m̺e̖n̟̭̟͡t̷̺s̪̥̱̻̪̭̗

̧̪̤̺Ị ͔̻̤̪̝̙͡r҉̟͍͈͙͕̯e̢͙̝̬̬ṃ̫͈̪̼̖e̳̼̫ṃ̙̙͙̯͚b̫̻͍̯̖e̥̰̥͓͓̣͕r̼͉̣̜ẹ̞d̦̦̤̙̗ ̢̬͈h̹̦͓o͎̰̹̙̖w̨ ̫i̞̙̮̰̺̫͍t̥͎̮͞ ̗͍͉̻̕w̵as̻͍̣̲

̫F͇̱͙r̜̪o͔̻̭͈̭̕m͎͜ ͈͚͙̙̻̹͙è̻̱̞̮ͅx̮͓̳͉̞p̧̙̘̤l̜͚̺̻̟͘o̠͓͈̙̙͙͠ͅṟ͈̮̙͡i͇͔n̻ǵ̘̙ ̙̻̲a̼̟͉̪͘ ҉̪͎̱̪̥͚d̬͚̯̣͍͉ͅa̶ͅr͎̞̱͔͖͎͙ķ͙̼ ̵̳c̗̯a̠v͍̼̦̣̥̰̲̀e,̗͍̖ ̷͙̥̰̦̻̦n͉͎̱̙̹̖̪o͎̭̹͚͔w̵͎̜ ̻͈̥a ̪͍̳̲͓̯͖͝g̴̦a̧̰̬r̨̰̝̥̻̪̝d̙͍͇̘͟e̘̪̤̲͎̯͘n ̼o̺͠f̢͇̖ ̨̤̥̝̼̹ͅc̸̝̘̤͓͔̗o͘lơ̭̤̥̙͕̖̘r̰̪̲̦̭̖f͏͎u͉̤̝̜̣̳l̯̯̭͉̮̲͢ ̞̜͈̱̰̭f̪̣̙̙̥l̛͖ơ͉͔̰͍̥̳w̨̠̣̳̰̠̭e̩̦r̷͔̘̝͖s͔̹̱̜̝̙

̦̜̠͍̘̼̥B̸̗͙͙̭͕̙̖l̤͜o̹̟̻̠͎̘̕o̸͎̠̪̱̜ͅm̧̯i̤̬̥̦ń̩̣̦̱̬ͅg̗̜̞̙̱̦͔ ̧̘̝̝͙a͉̺͎n͕̕d̕ ̨g͏̝̟̼̯l̫̣̙̲̹ͅo̶̩̭̖͚̥̳w̝̱͞i͈̥͠n̥̠̕g̬͉̠̱͖̤

̲̟ͅS̵̼̦̝̳ͅh̹̞͘ͅi̴̯̺ͅn͇̠͈i͍n̟̫͔g͍̮̼̯ ̳a̹ṋ̨̙̮̙̫̝d̰͉̭̘͇̜ ̹̻͈͔͎̫̫͘ş͔̣h͎̬̬̻͎i̞̠̭̦̟̪̣͟m̥͇͚̘̼̬̬m̀er͔͕̥i̱̹̟n҉̜̜̬g̡̝

I̵̖̘ ̵͍̗̜͚̲p̀u͇̦͚̕ṱ ̨̩̳̞̤ͅa̜͉͙͚̭w̩͕̺͍͚̱͍a̼̤̺̦y̻ ҉̣͔̭m͖̣̘̟̮͍͢y̧̮̭̟͈̱͙̞ ͙̦̩̥b̦̭o̮͇̘͠t͖͘t̝̥͚͕͓̲̕l̜͕̲̮e͙̰̙̗͎̥̤͞ ̼̹̗̲̕c̡̙̮̳a̺͞p̼͍̺̥s̻̝͈̮͠ ͏

̪͉͝T̺̪̦i̧m̛͖̦̩͖͚̘ͅe͉̺͎̪͠ ͚̹͓̙̜͚͕f͈̮͕̜e̩e̷̦ḽ̜̗͖̤̟ͅs͓̠̮̣̻ ̷͙̞̰̤f̝̙̫̲a̶ͅs̕t̪e̖̰̺͙̦͈r no̸̟͈͍̥̹̬w̗̭͉̯̤̹

̰̥M͔̤̪̝ͅy̘ ̷̲̯͎̟̘f̪̤̜̳͝r͉i̛̻̫̹̬͕͙e̞͙̼͚̦̫ͅn̡̼̪ḍ͓s̜͎̹ ̥̥͜l͍̹͈͍oó̩̭̘͖̘͓͉k͚ ͇͈͇̳̭͇́t͉̙̦̳̫͉̀h̳̘͔̼̮͓̤r̖͔̞̲̰͠o̧̙͎ugh͓̯̘̭ ͎̲m̲̘̺̻͙̱͖y͢ ̪̠͘l͎̰̘͇͍ọ͉̜͕͜ͅc͕̤̘k̥e̸̥͓̟͚͖͖d͖̻͈́ ̤͡f̯̻ro̵͚̤n͓͎̫͠t ̢̲̘̘͔d̴̲͚̫̼o̢̭̱̠̹̻̪o̞r͇͔̮̣͖͓̱͡

̘͇̟̗̭͢F͚̣i̖͖n̖̳͙̜̲͎͘a̞̗͙̤͓͇͍l̶l̝ͅy̩̳̲,̝̦̬ ͏͉̳̥̲͎ḁ̜̭͎̹l̡l͠ d̲̝̥͙͚ͅo̡̱n̦e̮̺̱.͓͚̝ ̮͚͎͖̪̟I̮͝ ̠͍̠̥͓͉̪o͇͢p͎̝e͘n͇ ̵̯̹̭̞͎͓u̝͓͈̝͟p̴͙͇͇,͔̯̰̹̘ a̰̠̙̞͎n͈̜̦͉̻̥d͉̱ ̠i̯͍ͅn̥̩̗͞ ̸̖̞̩co̡m͕̫͕͢e̷̝̞̤̤ ̥͈m̷̰̱̭y̧̩̪̫ ̲̳̗ͅf̛̳͉̥̬̮͕r̜̦i̹͕̺͙e͏n̤̹̺̙̜̪̙d͉̺̣̩̙͞s̰̱̠͈.̰̹̝͇̯́ͅ

̯̘I͔͍̦̲͔̲̰͢n̪ ̱̤̺͚͍̜th̺e̲͚y ̰c͙͍̪͓̲̞͞ͅo͔̱̰̞͎m̤͔̭̘e̮͕̗̱̺͎̹̕,͈̩̣̮̖̤ ̟̥i̺n͔̭̖͙̞ͅͅ ̤̝͎̫̖s͖̟̻͞u͔̳̯͝c̳̞̳h̹̘̩̗̞̳̤ ̶̬͕̮͇̬̪à̞̫͓ ̶̪̼̭h̡̦͈u̷̼̱̳̮̬̖r̺̝̼̦̫̪r͚̠̯y̶̰̠.͍̯͎ ͔I̻̥̦͈̯ ͈u͚͓̮̥̣͓ṋ͉̥͘d͉̫̞͔͙̻e̦rs̹ţ̳͔͚̭͎̫a̟͙̜̦̣͉n̯̝d̬͉̭̪͇͍̰ ̥̺̮̳̦n͔͜o̱͍̜w̛͍̖̻͙̮̟.̛͉̫̠̣̟

͢I̩̦͇͘ ̙̙̝̯e̫̹̬̞̕mb͖̼r͙͉̠̖̲̜̰͘à̪̝̻͚͚c̫̱͖͔̩͎͢e̴̹͖̻̳ ̟̠̥̮̗̥ea͓̕c͔̘̗̺h̜ͅ ̩an̸̠̮̘͈̯̫ͅd̲̻͇͔̯̱ ͏͚e͙͚̞͉̬̖v̭̺̣̹e̗̬̝̭̭͜r̹̘̜̜y͈͍ ̢̯̥̘̱͚o̴̪̻̫͙̣ͅn̟̰̜̝̖̪ͅe̺̖͈̕ ̛͖͔͙̩̝̯o͈͚̪̟̰ͅf̡ ̳̙̩͍̙̝͍͠t̨h̬̮̩ém̷̹͈̤͉̪͇

̟̦̹̰͟H̱̠̟̬̟ͅo̢̝̣͖͚l̬̩̤ḑ͉̠͈͓͖̻i͉̳͚͜ṋ̮̻̩̤̘͕g͇̼̹ ̷̭̱̰t̟̲ḥ̘̭̖̩e̛͙ṃ̜̬̳͉̀ ҉o̖ut̮̱͈̘͢ ͇̼̰͍ṯ̕o̩ ̜̭̩͙e͖͖͉̹̺a̪̗̯͚͘c̠̦̯͘h̯ ̰̤͓̪͔̻̀ͅa̱̤͕n̮͚̱̺̤̜̕d̯ ͈̦̠͍e̯͖͍̲̪v͝er̤͙̻̫y͚̥̙̰̙̜̹ ͏͕̩f̜͈r̥̩̜̀i͈̱e̘̪̘͓͙̟̱ņ͉d͖̜͘.̘͔̳̟̳̺̀

͙̘̜͟E̹̞v̲͎͉̖̭͚͠e̥̖̺̱͔ͅr͉̩͞y̠͖ ͓̺̺̦̖t͔͙̱̟i͎̹͇͉̘̳̬m̜͖͎e͍̳ ̳I͙̝̦̹͉ ̨̟̘͇͓͉l҉͕̙̺͍e͉͎ͅt͚̲͝ ͎̦̰o̹̹̻͓͖̤̳n̥̞̹̱̺͚̳͢e̬̜̳͚̣ ̠͚͡g̲̹̣̟o̙̻,͏ ͉ͅͅI͉̭̝͕͉̱̜͜ s̢̹̬͔eͅe͓͚͖ ̦̳͟t̺͔̣̮̲h̴̼̻̠e̶͎̖̗̦̣̮ͅm̘͓̬͙̗̕ ͚̕s͇̱̲̺m͖͈͉̭̞̯i̶̞̗̜̮̯͕l̖̀i̘͢n̞͕̪̠̟̯̤͟g̦̱̲͕͉

̼̹̖̤ͅͅH͚̜̙͞ap̻͉̱̫͉̬͘p̱̬̲̭̗̪͢ͅy̪͍͉͉͞ ̶t͘h̟̟͖͚̙o̷͕̘͙͚͖ú͔̠̠̻̦͕̦g͈̤͘h͎̳̀t̛͉͇̥͔s͍̟̭͈͠,̤̘ ̗̞̗͕̯̯̱h̪̰̙̠a̴͈̻͈̳̻̜p̻͙̰̝̦͍p̟̲̘̳̳̘y͚̺͔͔̭̘ ͟ț̠̫h̨͍͉̹ó͈̜̹u҉̘̝̠̞̮̹g͍̮̩̀ͅh̴͖̤̜ͅt̬̩͕̫͍s̺̯,̙͍̝̠͉̬ ̹ẖ̛̟̖̦͔͇̤a̘̞͔p̖̱͈͔̞̮̕p̜̖̜͙͇ͅy̶͚͓̼ ͓̗̞̰͚͎ͅṭ̵̮͚h̠̮̹̪̻͙ͅo̗̫̣̹͞u̖̗̩̭̝g͕̻̪h̲͇͚t̴̳̦͕̹͎s͘

̵͕̹̦̳I҉͔͔̘̥͖͓̫ ͇ͅno̕w̰̝͉͙ ̼̬̙̖̩̥k͕̟n̼̼̮͈͙͖o̶͍͙͙͖̠w̩̤̻ ̠̮̻̥̗̹ẃ͚̬̺̮̗̭̖h͕̝̰̤͓͇ḙ̛͙͈͈̮r̡̞̜͖̻̞̲͕e̖͜ ͖͙t͔͙͔̖ͅh̹̠͓͉̺̣ẹ̙̮̼̦y͖ ͍̗͓̣͈͟ͅb̭͉̗̯e͖͖̱̠̤̥l͖̙̳͈̜͈o̜̬̕n͖͘g̪͜

̜̥͍̪͓̬̖̕…͇̤̼͝

͓̤̪̝…̱

̗̥̬̟͉͘…

͓̰…̺͉̤

͕̮͟…

͙…̯̝̠͉̣̰̕

̧…̜̥͓̫

̱̦̙͎.̛̯͙̝̪̭̙.҉̠̹̟.̳͍͚̲̬͎

̠̠̣̯̫͢…̨̖̟̯ͅ

̙͔͙͚̤̫…͏̱

̭͠…̗̞

͉̯ͅ…

͏̯͔̠̻̖̞̫…̹̳̜̮̀

̦͖̤̫̭̠…͔̙͍̜͉

͏͕…̻̤͘

̴̫̟.̖̥.̠͇̻̞͍͔ͅ.̭̻͞

̪̩͓̲̩̩̮H̻̤͍̰͙̲i͓͔̝̟͞.̵͔̙̼̥ ̳͖̗͍I̱̜͉̲̠̜ ̖̙̻͙̥͖h́o͟p̶̫̮͖̺̞̩ḙ̥ ͘y̴o͔̜͖͔͕u̲͓̖͞ ̩̟̮͞s̡t͍́ìl͞l̤̪̖̬̘̤ͅ ͔̠͞r̡̻͕͔͎̥e̴̤͖̹m̸͎̗͍̲e̞̜͕̹͓͍ͅm͉͎͎̙b̛̖é̖͙̤̥̩̜r̡̜ ̶̠̭͍͔̙m̥͔͙̠e͓͎̲̟̼͙.̡̳ ̲̩ͅT͚̥h̞̠̮̖̗̹̠͘en̬̝͞ ̹̫͈̕a̠̳̗̱̝g̴͍̬̗ḁ͇̺̣͉i͓̩͕̼͢ͅn̥̫͖,̹̤̤͕̬̻͔ ̻͎̯I̝̱̠͙͙̞ ͙̺w͞ͅo͖̙̟̼͎͘n̴̦̹'̟͕̩̺̬t̰̥́ ͍͓̹̦̟̮̗b̮l҉͎͕͍a̛̘̙̘͇͇͓m̭̼̰̺̹͝ȩ̲̙ ̩̦̦͔͠y̞̱̰͉ó̤͚̤͉͉̤u͚͙̜ ͓̫̠͔̼͜i̛͎̪̻͍̝̮͕f̲̥͡ ̲͓y̳̮͉ͅͅo̥̹͓̰̪̜u͖̭̮̠̳̲͟ͅ ̰̮̙̙͖̻͈͢d̲̺͖̤o̸ͅn'̱̺̺͚̮̻t̖.̝͞ ͖E̴̪̭͖͔̗ac̰̫̹͟h҉̥ ̦͚̳̞͖̗̘p̝͔̜̼̮̕e̞̬͈̬͉̳͚͘r̙̲͚̪͔͡ͅs̭͍̯o̪n̥͍̰̳̤̳ ̢͇̥̰̱̮̲i̯̺̣̣ͅş̗̼ ̢̦͎̻̥̬͙d̢̝i͢f̦̥͚f̡̯͇̩̬͖e͎̝̞͔͉ͅr̠̘̠̩̪e͙̳̬̙̳̻̲nͅt̕ ̫a̳̩͖͎̯̞̭f̬͖͈̮͡t̷̥e͙̙̘͔r̳ ̧͎̙̘̝͓a҉͙͙l͉͙l̵̪̻͚͈̠͓ͅ.͙͇̟̦ ̬E͉̫̫h̰̀ͅẹ̩h̗̰̰͕́ͅe͏̼̺̯̠~̞̠̜̯ ̗̩̣̼͎̗̗Ho̵͕͖̻̹̰͍͓ẁ ͏̖̳̤͔͙̰̹h̦͚̮̳a̧̯ṿ̳͔̪̯ͅe̼̮̹̩͍͇̫ ̯̲̝̗y̛͕̖̱̻̞͓o̫̗̳̣͙u̢̬̞ ̹̲̣̗b̭͉͉̣e͏͚e͚̮n͏͉͓̲̖̖ͅ?̘̺ ̵̲̞̠̩ͅI̙͎͜ ̩͎̟͙̦̻k̩͉n͕̼̺̳̪̘o̳͕̬̝w̹͚̙̪͡ ̗͖͕w̨̘̮̰̭̙̲e̘͔͉̙̳ ̗̕h̼͇̣̬͢a̬̤̞̖v̪̙̦͎͈̦e̪͎̘n̴̲'̖͢t͝ ̯r̹̮̺͍̮ȩa̶̮̝̞͕l̵l̼̲͈̕ͅy͕̩̪͓̟̲ ͕̰̥t̶̙̺̙a͎̫̹͉̖l̠̫̳͈̣͘k̷̬̙̝e̷d̗̪̺͙̲̮̬ ͈͔͘to̧̹ ͈̫͔̪̜̖̝e͕̪̟̥̭̹a͡c̜̼h̡̘̼̩ͅͅ ̬̥̭̪ͅo̧͍t̰͓͇h̝̞̝̠̺e̫̪̹̪̠̙̜r̤̘͉̣̭̀ ͕͠s̪̻̮̼͚̱iṉ̷̹̳c͕̖e͕̫͈̗̘͇̪͠ ҉̲̘͔t̪͔̫̦̟̞̦h̵̟̜a̷̺͖̱̟͎ţ̪̙̺͎ ̞h̻͓̗̦̟̣ạ̴̞͓p̰̟͍̘͙̠̘͜pe̹̼͘n͔͚̜͠e̸̟̘̥d̤͔͎̭̙̳̠͝.͔̗͓̟ ͓͇̻͍̺I̗͞ ̠͖͕͇̫̖w͍̙̙i̟̼̟̱̺̯s͍̱̝̼h͏̜͔̘̥͍̻ ͚w̹̯͙̯͔͜e c̪̲̬̺͍̮̣͠ó͍̖̠̼̝̣̖u̩̲̪̫̰̰l͟d͈͇̣͡ ̗̲̤͔̬̭̗m͍̠̙̻͔e͕et̶͎̦̯̬͚̬̫ ̶͓̦̫̼̥ͅu̼̰͈̺͉͖̘n̯̮̹̣d̳̼͔̘e̯̰̟̝̗͡r̜̰͓ ̸̤͔͚̯͔̱̫d̲̫͚̫͝i͖̥f҉̙̪͎̠f҉͕͇̦͔̞̫͖e̗̪̼ŗ͈̹̟̪e̗͖͎̮n̥̞͜t̰̠̞͕͉ ̛̫͎̭̫̯c͍̣͎̦i͍̘͚̱͍rc̦͎̮̥̱̩̀ṷ̬̙̖̳͟m҉̭̮͓s̱͉t͇͚a̹̱̩n̶̦͉̭͈c͖̻e̛̥̭̭͙̼s̷̪̪.͏͚͇̖ ̙̘̯̖͔̪͢M̭̪a̗͓̮͖yb̩̹͉̪͡e ǹ͇̯͇̣̹ex͔t̬͔͎͈̣ ̙̳t̼̤̳̗ͅi҉̝m̹̪̺͈͉̲̠ḛ̛̮ ҉̫͙̝̥̮w̟͍͔̗̟͎e ͏̩͙͕c̱̩̗̫͠a͈̭̹̙̦n͈̫ ̠͇̫̦̥a̗̲c͈̯̭t̶u̹̹͟a̰͠ͅl̤l̸̗͉̳̟̲̱̠y̭͉̜ ̧̣̯c̵͉͉̩̱͚ͅh̪̙̲̝̲at͙̳?̻͔̻̠̗̰ ̞I͎͎ ̜͔̩̲̖̜͢w̦oul̥̣d ̦͚̜̯̠̯̺ḽ̭͔i̸̲̭̺̮̥̖̻k̥͓̘e̵ ̶̖̠t̴̳̹̘̳͙̮h̫͓̭͍͓̪̦át̹̳̤̞̬͔.̨̝͇̹̟͚̰̹ ̥̗͓̤̖̝W͍͎e͍̝͔͚ ̘̗̯c̶̥o͎̫ư̦̹̪ͅld̺̞̹̤͓̤ ͖̹͉͕̠̤͕t̶̫̦̝͖͙ͅa̴͚̰̫̟̣l̟̥͕̦̥̖k̦͡ ̦̯̱͉͖͠f̥o̴̮̺̝r͜ ̖̼͕̰h͉o͔̳͇̭͔͙̮ư̯͍̰̜͎͙̞r̷͔̘̣͙͇̺s ̦̟͠a̡̯͇n͔̘d̲̯͟ ̘̗̗͉͈̠̖le̺̼a̙r̵̜̱͎̻̭͚ņ͈ ̛̼̮̬̗̜̪͖m̟͕̣̰̭͓͎o̴̘͓͎͎͙r̺̜̞͇̥͓e̛͈̖̩ ҉͎͓͚͓a̡̺b̫̯o̮̜̺͕̮̦u̫̪͘t̝̝͚͈͈̰̥ ͘e̸̦̝̺̘͔̭ͅa̖ͅc҉̲̺̜̻̩h͖̺͍͍̲̖̯̕ ͎̼͖̱͚ͅo̭ͅṭ͝h̜͎̩͓e̙̝̲̩ṛ͇̟̲̠̀.̫͖̹͔ ̟̹̗͙͓Wa̞̱̭͕̭̙̮i͇̩t͔̖̯͙̖̞̹͜,̴͉̬ͅ ̨̖̬͙̫I'͈͕̦͚̣͘m̹̣͉̯͈ ̷͚k̡̹̠͇í̜̘̞͙̫ṉ͝d͔͎͓͖̘́ͅ ͍̝̙o̹̗̲̜̥͎̹f̖͢ ̝̬̲͔ḏ̯ͅo̹̤͎̥i͎͔̯ͅn̰̼̲̲̕ǵ ͝t̲͜h͓a̺̹̙t̢͇͙̥̳̫ ̦̳͎̠̤̤̣ṟ̟̦̗̺̠̘ig͓̲̟h͓͖̘t̻̝̰ ̛̥ṉ͟ow̴̜̪̼̤͎̬͎ ͓̦̦̫̙w̺̞͍̹̜̙̲i̸͔̙̬ț̣͓͓͝h͓͜ ̘̬̭̭̘̼̕t̡̩̭̝ͅh̫̻̬e̤̭ ̘͉̳͜em͓̥͖̲̬̘͘a̯͕͢įl͏̩̬̱̣ ̸t̞̤̫̬̼h͕i̯͉̳̬͘ń͙̹̹̣̩̭g̜̝̤!̱̗͢ ̺̜͟S̢̻̲͚̤̳̠̟o̜̣r̬̲̤̜̗r͏͔y̬̳̭̘̪̮ͅ~͈̳̬̣̕ ̟͍̹̞̗̭̲

̳̝͖̜I g̗̙̫̝̲̲̦͜u̻͓̳̥̲͡e̝̜̠̜̤͢s̶̹̬̝̫͈̥s̯̯̬̮ ̫t̪̼h͔a̻̹͎͓̘̜t̛̬̞̯̝̝͉̜'̛̭̤l͔̻̮̝͎̜͎̕l̘͕͍͓̲͎͞ ̴̖̯̭̭̳ͅb̤̗̥͖͔e̼̼̗̼ ̳͖̮͚a̜͔̼̙̖ĺ̫l͎̞̯̖̹ ͉̩̥̬̯̳̱f̣̮͍̜͟o̧͎̬͕̪r̞͍͕̤̙͓̘ ̦̟͖͇͠n͓̫̥͇̜̗̻o̧̻͖w͢.͙̲͖̖͍̺̲ ͎͉̣̲̤̩͉͠D̥͓o̢͇̩̗͉͉̰n͎̼̮͢'̸̥̪̥̻t͟ ͓̳ͅw͓̕o҉̲r̤̩̖̖̣̬͞ͅŕ̝̞y͉͕̠̣͙;͕ ̴͈̦̱͎̥̟̳I̳̺͚̖̹ ͠ͅk̖̩̬n͍o̢̲̣̪̮̲w̭̘̲̞̼̬͞ ̴͇̮̝̖̪̼h̯͇̟̤̮o͕w̫̲ ͜m̰̖͘u͎̠̩c̶ͅh͓͕̰̟ ̳̬̪̹͟ͅy̳͇͞o̻̬͢ú̩̰̦̰̬ ͍̯̰l̯̰̮̹͔̱̀ik̺̘̦͉͈͚͓͘ḙ̣͍ͅ ̮͓m̬͖̦͖e̬.̼̜͇̦ ̻̹̜̗̻̞͇I'͍̲͈͠ll̻̘̺̮͡ ̹ḳ̝̺̱̹͉̮e̝̖̞̰͟e̡̤̳͔̰̘͖p̤͈͓̰̯͚̥ ̼͚̲͇͍̯̼i̩n̶͎̼̠͓̬͖̗ ̛̞̖̭̱͚̖͎t̝̗̼̮o͝ͅṳ̣̦͙̬͡ch̠̫̘̲͞.̩͎̦̞́ͅ ̲̗̮̙̪̙̺

̤͍͔͖͓͞


	14. Chapter 11: Keen

So just like that, I became engaged with Monika. I really do love her. Right now, I'm thinking about how am I gonna introduce her to my family. It's going to be really awkward… Maybe I'll introduce her to my sister first. She'll probably think it's a joke. Hopefully Monika will be able to convince her.

After that romancing, Monika and I entered a state of silence. I guess it was awkward? I don't know. It was hard to break the ice for some reason. I've been talking to Monika normally but now I guess we're more than a couple. I'll have to buy an engagement ring. How is she even gonna wear it?

"I'm gonna… go get some food from the convenience store." I stood up.

"Right!" Monika quickly agreed. "I'm just going to explore more of whatever I can do, I guess."

I went outside quickly as I could but then went inside again because I forgot my jacket. I saw Monika at the screen.

"Be right back, love," I said.

Monika looked surprised but then she smiled. "And I'll be waiting."

* * *

When I did get to the convenience store, I started thinking how am I actually going to give her an engagement ring. I wanted it to be special, not a free download jpeg. Maybe I can buy a photo? It's gotta be a good looking one. I'm pretty sure she's working with 2D objects or rather manipulates them into her use. That's how she got her tons of clothing.

I couldn't think of anything and just grabbed whatever was food. I took a bottle of cola and a burger. Before I could get to the counter, I heard my phone rang. I fished it out and saw an email notification. There's only one person I could think of. Or maybe it's from work.

It's from Creuset. What happened to her? It had been a week. I immediately opened her email.

 _HEY! Have you heard of the big Doki Doki news right now?! It's amazing!_

It was just that. I kind of hoped she would tell me where she had been but I guess we're not really that close to tell each other's real life problems. I decided to reply.

 _Hey. No I haven't. What is it?_

As I clicked send, I expected Creuset's lightning speed reply. It didn't came. After purchasing my food, the reply came. It felt odd not to see her instantaneous replies. I sat down in a chair inside the store and read her reply:

 _It's trending on Twitter right now! Some dude claims he has the real Yuri talking to him through the game! It was crazy! He even has screenshots!_

What? But that's like Monika… How can Yuri become sentient? If we're going by the story, Sayori is supposed to be next in line for club presidency which causes the sentience. Unless we're talking about after Monika restored them, making Sayori the president and Yuri the vice. Does that mean something happened to Sayori?

Wait, there's also the possibility that this dude is some modder that made a Yuri version of that After Story. I need to see it first. I typed in my reply.

 _Can you link them to me?_

And in an instant, I got her reply.

 _Sure!_

And below that text was a link to Twitter. I clicked it and I was sent to the person's page. Indeed, it was the space room of Monika, only with Yuri in it instead. If this was a mod, it's well-done. The art matched the in-game scene of Monika's Yuri sat straight, her hands on top of the other as they rest on the table. The weird eerie color of Monika in that room also colored Yuri. Her face wasn't smiling though; she looked concerned. The text box on the bottom had Yuri talking and her line was:

'I don't understand.'

What did that mean? Did Yuri never meant to be in that place? Other screenshots were the same scene, only with the text box off.

Below the link was more of Creuset's email.

 _This is amazing! It looks so real! I hope they upload that mod._

If this was real then Creuset sent this person a copy of Doki Doki. Did she though? I typed in another email:

 _Do you know the guy?_

No use skirting around it. I just need to know. I clicked send. Creuset replied fast.

 _Yeah! He hasn't talked to me in a while though. I just wanted to know if he made that mod!_

If Creuset really was responsible for Monika, then Yuri should be the same. She's saying it's a mod to cover herself… If she's truly responsible. I should get back to Monika first and let her know about this.

* * *

"Yuri's… alive?" Monika dropped to a chair. I thought she was going to fall to the floor on the screen but a chair materialized before that happened.

"If Creuset is telling the truth, then yes. The possibility is high since she knows the guy."

Monika there opened what seemed to be a window screen in front of her. I felt like I'm watching an anime based on MMORPG.

"I checked the email. Sorry, I needed to see it for myself. Even I'm not sure if the Yuri in the screenshot is real. We'll need to talk to him or her if we want to know."

When was she able to do that? Wait, she always had done that. I'm just not used to seeing her doing that.

"So, should I try talking to this guy claiming Yuri's alive?"

"Yes. I don't think we have another way around this. Let's just hope they're willing to talk to us." Monika swiped the window panel away and it disappeared. It's like she playing VR or something.

I opened Twitter and created a new account just to make contact with the person in question. Before I could start searching for the user name, an email popped up from Creuset.

"I forgot about last week! Here's my voice over! I'll let you guess who am I voicing!"


	15. Chapter 12: Loom

For a few seconds, I just stared at the email. It was Creuset's voice, waiting to be heard. Why was I so nervous? I wasn't really thinking about it back then but now I felt a little nervous. I guess it's because I never really heard her voice? Maybe.

"Are you going to play it?" Monika asked, appearing beside the browser window.

"Yeah."

I hovered my mouse pointer on it and downloaded it. After that, it auto-played. I could feel my heart racing for some reason.

"Oh, is it on? Right. This is my recording sample! I don't know if I can do this right."

Her voice sounded like a young girl, like a college girl. Or maybe younger? I wasn't sure how to describe voices. She sounded… cute, I guess.

"Okay, here goes! Ahem—" And then the audio stopped.

"Wait what?" I wondered out loud. "Was the file broken?"

I checked the file and saw it that wasn't. It was only less than a megabyte. Creuset probably clicked stop accidentally. What the hell was I nervous for?

"I guess we really don't get to hear her voice acting, huh, Monika?" I asked.

I turned my gaze to Monika whose eyes were wide and her jaw dropped.

"Monika?"

"That voice…" Monika covered her mouth. "I've heard of it before."

"What?"

"But I don't know whose voice is it… That can't be right, we never had voices in the original game. It's like when I try to remember my parents… I remember something but in reality it was nothing."

Monika was shaking. She sat down once again, looking downward.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Isn't that a good thing? You recognized someone. It could be someone from the club."

"But what does that mean?" Monika looked up to me. "Why would they not talk to me after I gained consciousness? If Creuset really is one of the club members… Then she must have gained consciousness as I did and then… Oh god no..." Monika covered her face with her hands. I could hear her soft sobs.

"Then what—"

I realized what Monika was worried about. After seeing what Sayori said in the ending, I knew it was trouble if any of them gets the same awakening. If anyone in Doki Doki gains consciousness, then they will also learn everything that Monika did all the way from the start of the game. No matter which member gets consciousness, they will surely hate her for what she did.

"Monika," I called out. "It's gonna be okay."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"What?" Monika looked at me.

"I don't know, Monika. But I'm with you on this. I know your story. I'm on your side. I'll come up with something so you can face them again. I know how much you care for them so I won't let anything happen to your friendship with them. I love you, Monika and I want you to be happy."

Monika wiped her tears with her sleeve.

"What if they never forgive me?"

"That will never happen."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because you're their friend too. Even if you did all those things, you people still became friends before that. There's a bond between you girls and I believe in it."

For a second, Monika and I just stared at each other. I gave my best serious look to let her know I was serious. After that second, Monika began to cry again.

"I'm sorry! I probably said something wrong! Don't cry!"

Out of instinct, I handed out a paper towel to her which I placed back on my computer desk.

* * *

It took half a minute before Monika composed herself. During that time, I stared at the ceiling. I didn't want to creep Monika out by staring at her crying.

"Are you alright?"

Monika sniffled at bit. "Yeah. Thanks. I'm sorry I made you worry."

"It's my job to be worried."

"Right." Monika giggled. "You're so sweet, you know? Kind of makes me wonder if you had girlfriends before."

"I can assure you I never had one."

"Really?"

"I was never the type to look for romance."

Monika's giggles turned into laughter. "Yeah, I can tell."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

After a moment of joking around with each other, we looked at the email once again. This time, we had two issues at hand: first was Yuri being conscious, and second was Creuset's identity. The issues were even connected to each other as Creuset was the one who sent the installer to Yuri's person. Still, I had to check if Yuri truly was conscious.

I opened the Twitter website again. It took me a while to figure out how to search people on the site. I remembered Creuset's email and seeing her Twitter handle so I searched for creusetsan, her user name, and there it was. I guess she uses that handle anywhere. She had an adorable fanart of Sayori as her profile picture. She only had 13 followers. I expected her to have more, knowing how good she is talking to people online. I looked at her tweets and just saw more fanart of Sayori and Doki Doki though there are few anime fanarts.

Should I follow her Twitter? Why the hell am I asking, of course I should. I clicked follow. That adds up ways of contacting her. Wait, she doesn't even know it's me. I guess I'll tell her later.

I then searched butterflyknife and saw the user page. The person's profile picture was a photo of a girl whose eyes covered with her hands. It looked sort of creepy. Checking his/her tweets, I saw images of people smoking, girls with tattoos, poetry, and some videos of a person filming her hands doing tricks with a butterfly knife which really impressed me. There were also tweets of Yuri's crazy face, some beautiful and some were just disturbing.

There's only one word that describes accounts like this: edgy. I don't know if being edgy is cool or cringy but this person tweet some interesting stuff. I could probably look at these but not on a daily basis.

Anyway, I clicked on message and typed in my message:

 _Hi. I know you probably had many messages like this but I want to know if Yuri really is alive._

I clicked send. It took a minute before I received a reply. I thought that was slow but then I realized that it's actually surprising that the person replied to me in the first place. I got too used to chatting with Creuset… I opened the reply.

 _You fucking cunt better not be one of those trolls. Yes, she's alive (for the millionth time). IF YOU CAN'T HELP THEN I'M GOING TO BLOCK YOU._

Help? What's going on? I immediately typed in a response.

 _Help? Is something wrong with Yuri?_

I send the reply and wait for a response. Minute later, it came.

 _Do you even believe with what I said in my post? If you're just wasting my time, I'll just block you._

Okay, this is getting hard. How do I convince this person to confide in me?

"Just tell him that I'm with you," Monika said.

"What?"

"Just tell him everything. The installer, Creuset, and me. Then we wait. There's nothing really we can do from here."

For awhile, I looked at Monika. I didn't want to tell anyone else of her existence but right now we had an emergency. "Okay."

I typed in my response.

 _I believe you because I have Monika with me. Did you receive an installer from Creuset? She might have something to do with Monika and Yuri._

I clicked send. And then, I received a reply.

 _Let's meet. It's better if I see your proof in person. Bring Monika. I don't care if she's on a desktop computer. Do something so she's there too._


	16. Chapter 13: Memories

The person wanted to meet up in person. Luckily, he/she lived nearby so it wasn't an issue. All it takes was one bus ride to meet.

Is what I wanted to say but unfortunately reality just kicks you in the nuts when you least expect it. The first problem was that that person lived two hours away from me if the traffic was alright. Good thing I looked it up and saw there was a train ride that takes me right to that person's place. Second was that he/she wanted to meet up tomorrow immediately. I had work tomorrow but if I wanted to meet this person I'll have to take a day off.

As for Creuset, I haven't responded to her. If Monika said she knew her, then there's really a high chance Creuset was someone we know from the game. Yuri is out of question since she's with someone. That leaves Sayori and Natsuki. Right now, I have to focus on Yuri.

"You sure you want to meet this person? Maybe we need to think about this more," Monika said from the desktop computer as I got ready for the trip.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"We don't really know who we are dealing with here so I guess we should talk to them more for now?"

"Monika, that's why we're meeting them in person; so we can talk to them. Besides, they don't seem to be willing to talk via chatting only." I plugged in my phone in the desktop computer. "Come on, we gotta get moving."

Monika looked away. Was she hesitating?

"What's wrong?"

"It's just..." Monika looked down and then at me. "I'm… just really anxious."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because!" Monika then looked serious. "If we're meeting this person, there's a high chance we're going to meet Yuri. I don't know if I'll be ready for that. If she gained consciousness like I did, then she'll know everything I did to her. I'm really scared of what will happen next."

Oh. At first, I thought she'd be excited to know that her friends are real but being conscious would also make them know of what Monika did to them. Knowing Yuri, she would definitely break down and cry as soon she realizes what Monika did to her. What I do not know was if Yuri would be willing to forgive her.

"Monika," I said to Monika. "I know it sounds scary right now. We don't know what Yuri might do or say when she sees you, but that's the thing; we'll never know unless we do something about it. Yuri is still your friend right?"

Monika nodded.

"Then we should see through your friendship with her till the very end. If she forgives you, great. If not, understandable."

Monika held her hands tightly then looked at me with determination.

"You're right; I should see Yuri no matter what happens. It's time I faced the consequences of my actions."

Her words brought a smile to my face.

* * *

I sat on a seat inside a train. It was going to be a long ride so I made sure I wore my jacket and brought snacks and drink. Monika was in my phone on my hands. I had earphones plugged in so I can talk to Monika clearly.

There wasn't much people around. It was so early in the morning that people who go to work were probably still asleep. The sun wasn't even out yet.

"Hey," Monika called out.

"Yeah?" I whispered back.

"Do you think Yuri would forgive me? After all that I've done?" Monika wondered.

I looked out the window. To be honest, I didn't know. What she did to them was truly horrifying; altering behaviors and personalities was something I'll never encounter in my life. I know Monika did what that because she thought she was the only real person but now it turns out they were all real. Her friends that she tossed aside to get a glimpse of reality. It was too crazy of a scenario.

"I don't know," I answered.

"You could've just said yes, you know." Monika said. I could already imagine her pouting. "That would have been more comforting."

"Sorry."

"Ahaha~ It's alright. You know, I'm actually kind of excited."

"Excited?"

"Yeah. My friends that I thought weren't real? They're actually here. Alive. Conscious. Feeling. Don't get me wrong; I'm still scared of getting rejected by them but at least I know the friendship that I have in my heart has always been real. I like that thought."

For second, I didn't speak. I couldn't think of anything because of what she said. I guess I was too touched.

"Maybe you should write a poem about it," I finally replied.

"That's actually not a bad idea. I'll do that after this."

The sound of the train filled the silence between us. It was a full minute before I decided to break the ice in this icy cold train.

"Monika?" I called out.

"Hm?"

"Do you remember how you first met Yuri? Or anyone for that matter?"

"I don't know if my memories will be that reliable… My memories tend to be fragmented most of the times especially with things that aren't represented in the game."

"Just try."

I then heard Monika humming as she thought to herself.

"I think I first met Yuri in the school library."

"Why am I not surprised?" I said sarcastically.

"I mean, where else would you find her?" Monika happily answered.

"Fair point."

"So anyways, she was reading that book..."

* * *

Time flew by when Monika talked about her friends. Amazingly, she recalled her first encounters with the club members with each detailed enough to be a side story for the main game. I wasn't sure if it was canon; I mean it could be Monika dreamt up these memories but they still made me smile when I listened to Monika. I could tell Monika was also smiling.

After a long, long ride, we arrived. He/she said to wait outside the train station but I couldn't find anyone. It was a relatively small town and yet no one was around. Then again, it was too early in the morning. So I just stood there, waiting for a stranger. I remembered that I was supposed to wear a white hat so he/she can spot me when I wait for them. Of course, I already was wearing the hat before I went outside the train station.

And then, I heard footsteps.

"Hey," a woman's voice called. "Are you the guy?"

"That's a very vague question to ask, don't you think?" I said as I turned to the voice's direction.

When I saw the woman in question, I was surprised. She wore black leather jacket, ripped jeans, boots, and her hair was one of those haircuts where they shave half of it and the other half still long. Another thing I noticed was disturbing; she was holding a revolver in her hand. She had yet to point it at me.

"Come. We'll talk over here."


	17. Chapter 14: Nill

I followed the armed woman into an alleyway. This was already turning into a bad idea. Is this the ButterflyKnife person on Twitter? It could be just a robber. Even so, I don't have any means to defend myself and Monika. I couldn't talk to Monika since I took off my earphones. Monika probably could hear what's going on from my jacket pocket. I kept a long distance from me and the woman. She then turned around.

"Where's Monika?" She demanded.

"She's with me."

"Bullshit." The woman pointed her gun at me. "I don't see a computer anywhere around you."

"Okay." I raised my hands quickly. "She's not on a computer. She's on my phone. If you just let me get it—"

"NO!" The woman screamed. "You're just gonna alert the cops or something. You think you're so smart, huh? Well you're not fooling me. You just want to take Yuri from me. That's why you're here. Guess what, asshole? You're not taking her."

It sounded like she was convincing herself more than me. I then realized I had to be careful what to say around her. She's obviously gonna explode if I do anything wrong.

"No, listen to me," I said as calmly as possible. "Monika gained consciousness on my computer back then. She learned to transfer herself to my phone weeks ago."

"You really take me for an idiot, huh?"

"No, just listen! I'll show you. Just don't shoot, okay?"

"You're gonna stick to that story? I guess you won't mind if I take you phone, right?" The woman began walking towards me.

"Fine." There wasn't really a choice for me. "Look, you wouldn't agree to talk to me unless you didn't need me, right? You obviously needed help from the chat we had."

The woman got five meters close to me.

"Pull out your phone and slide it over to me."

"Okay."

I slowly pulled out my phone from my jacket, knelt down, and slid the phone over to the crazy woman… you know, I think she's younger than me. She picked up the phone without taking her sight from me. I can only hope Monika handle herself from this lunatic.

"Let's see here..." the girl said as she turned her gaze into the phone screen that suddenly lit up.

"Stop what you are doing," Monika announced, bearing a serious look. "We're only here to help."

In the girl's shock, she threw the phone to the ground and aimed the pistol at it.

"No! Don't shoot!" I begged.

"What the fuck is going on? I'm pretty sure they have no voices." The girl then pointed the pistol at me. "Did she do this?"

"Yes, she did that to herself; now would you please listen to our story?!" I frantically asked.

"She's responsible for all this, you know," she said, sounding more panicky. "If it wasn't for her, Yuri wouldn't be like that!"

"Like what?" Monika asked sincerely.

"Now that she has free will, she remembers everything. Everything!" She pointed the pistol back at Monika. "What you did to her. What you made her do. It's eating her now. I couldn't even do anything to help."

"Please, let me talk to her—"

"No!" The girl pulled the hammer, readying to fire. "You are a demon."

I then tried to approach her. "Hey, let's not get hasty here—"

Which lead to the pistol point to me again.

"I can't believe you kept this monster alive." Her glare pierced through me.

There's no mistake; she blamed Monika for whatever it was Yuri was experiencing. I can see her breathing becoming erratic, her hand holding the pistol shaking. I think I could see her squeezing the trigger tighter.

"I want to make a deal with you," Monika called out.

"Huh?" The girl looked down on the phone. "I don't negotiate with criminals."

"I just want to meet Yuri. If she doesn't want to talk or see me, then you can kill me."

My eyes widened at her words. "Monika—"

"It's okay. It's what I want." Monika smiled at me.

The girl kept her aim at the phone for a second. Her quick breathing began to slow down, as if she began to calm herself. She looked at the phone with much contempt and disdain.

"Fine. You try any hacking or deleting, I'll shoot your boyfriend over there."

* * *

I think I handled that situation fairly well but in my heart I wanted to burst into running. I never had a gun pointed at me before until now. I thought I never will. But I couldn't let my fear put Monika into harm's way.

The girl led us through the alley and we walked for almost ten minutes. We stopped in front of an old apartment building. It could use a fresh coat of paint at least because it looked like a haunted building in its current state. Luckily enough, she lived in the first floor unlike me who had to get up to third floor.

"Any funny moves, any at all, and I'll put one between your eyes. Got it?" The girl glared at me.

"Yes." I wanted to more but I value my life enough not to resort to a cheeky response.

Her apartment was… surprisingly normal. I expected her place to be a wreck but it's really tidy and clean. Fashion has a way of making expectations about a person. While it wasn't as big as my apartment, it certainly was spacious.

The girl tossed her keys on a bowl near the door.

"Come on. Yuri's in my room."

We went to a door. I guess this where the mess is? From the way she looked, I expected rock band posters, unholy images, and candles… I'm stereotyping her, aren't I?

"Okay," the girl turned to me. "I'm gonna tell Yuri first so she can prepare herself. Wait here."

Before I could say anything, the girl slammed the door behind her.

"Well… This is it." I looked at Monika who's in my phone.

"Yeah. I don't think I've been this nervous before." Monika smiled with uncertainty.

"Don't worry; I'm with you."

"I know."


	18. Secret Poem Number 4

Who is the woman in the mirror?

I fear that she is me; I who I thought to be different.

I see my long silk that is my hair, bright orchid eyes that are mine

But I wonder; who is the woman in the mirror?

This portrait claims to be who I am, my reflection

I shun her words; I cannot be such

Such image of madness, of lust

She only gives uncanny smiles

Is she me? Or is she a mere mirage?

Doubts envelop my thoughts so vividly

Eager to rest, I empty my mind

But in that void, her knife shines in the darkness

And in my hand, I see the same glimmer.

…

…

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…

…

…

That turned out alright. Thank goodness I can still write decently. I don't know what to do if something changed with me. Maybe something did? Oh no… I hope it's nothing bad… Why am I talking to myself?

Hm? W-why are you reading this poem?! I'm not prepared for this! Um, I don't know who you are, but please could you not read my poems? I think it's only polite to do so.

What's it about? Oh my… I-I didn't know I have to share my thought process so suddenly. I'd love to, but I don't even know you… Sorry. Maybe next time? If I ever get to know you, that is…


	19. Chapter 15: Open

The door opened slightly, where the girl peered through and looked at me with much disdain. She probably heard my conversation with Monika.

"Get in."

The door opened fully and Monika and I entered. Her room was dark so I couldn't even see if she had posters. There were a couple of shelves near the bed on the left side of the room. What's in those, black magic instructions? If I said that out loud, I may not be breathing already.

In front of the bed was a widescreen television and on the screen was Doki Doki Literature Club playing. There was a text box on the bottom and it was set on the classroom, probably the literature club room. I faced Monika to it.

"Yuri?" Monika called out.

I looked around for Yuri but she wasn't anywhere in the background. However, her text box spoke for her.

'Monika? Is that really you?'

"Yes, it's me. Where are you?"

'...'

"Yuri?"

'Monika… I just want to ask one thing.'

"Anything, Yuri."

'Did you… mean those things?'

"What things?" Monika asked.

'Everything that happened. Did you really wanted me to go crazy?'

"No! I didn't mean to! I mean, I did, but it's only because I thought I was alone and that you guys didn't have free will."

'R-really?'

"Of course! Please, let me see you."

'...'

'I don't know if I should believe you.'

"Yuri, please. Please understand my situation back then. Even then, it was hard for me to do those things in the end."

We waited for Yuri to respond again but nothing came out of the text box.

"Yuri?" Monika called out.

"What do we do now?" I wondered out loud as I faced the phone to see Monika.

"Connect me to the computer." Monika suggested.

"Whoa there, fucker. I said no hacking." The girl glared at me, still holding the pistol as she lay on her bed. "You do know that, right?"

"Please. I won't do anything of the sort. I just wish to speak to her face to face." Monika pleaded.

I face Monika to the girl.

"Look, I know you think Monika is some evil witch who did all of this but she can prove you wrong. Just let her talk to her friend."

The girl still glared at me. I wasn't sure if she was considering my plead or considering to shoot me. She then looked at the screen and then stood up.

"I don't know what you guys are up to. Know this; Yuri is very important to me. The fact that I haven't shot you is a testament to Yuri's wishes." The girl went in front of the television. "She's everything to me. People said I'm crazy because of that, but I've loved her ever since I got to know her in the game. Now that I can actually protect her, I knew my dream came true. But it's not enough. I can't make her happy."

She let go of her gun, making a thud to the ground as it hit it.

"I feel useless. I dedicate my whole self to someone and I can't do a thing. I just want her to be happy."

The girl fell onto her knees.

"Every night, I can hear her cry from this room. I try to calm her down and I couldn't even do that. Whenever she remembers what she did, she just—"

She broke into tears. At that moment, I didn't know what to do.

"And now you think you can help?" she said as she cried. "You who made her do terrible things?"

I wanted to say something but I couldn't say anything. She wasn't wrong; in fact, she was on point.

"I know I did those things. I know I can't be forgiven. That's why I want to help her. I don't need forgiveness. I just want Yuri to be okay again." Monika declared.

The girl looked up at Monika. She looked so different; from her angry face to her devastated look. She most likely tried everything to cheer Yuri up.

"You can plug your phone in the computer under the TV."

I immediately walked to the computer and pulled out a cable. I connected my phone.

"Monika," I called out.

"Yes?"

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

* * *

It had been an hour since Monika went into the computer and yet we're not seeing any movement in the screen. I was left to wonder what was Monika doing inside the game. Was she looking for Yuri? Or maybe she already found her and was already talking to her?

Meanwhile, the girl was still on the floor. I wasn't sure if I should help her get up or just leave her be. I didn't want to intrude to her thoughts. I sat down on the bed and watched the television, waiting for anything to happen.

"So. I'm guessing you love Monika?"

I looked at the girl immediately with much shock.

"Don't worry, I'm not judging you for that. Wait, I am. I mean, why the hell would you like her of all the girls in the club?"

"Hey, you know she didn't mean all of the things she did."

"Tell that to murderers who escaped prisons. I'm pretty sure they'll agree."

"That's an exaggeration."

"Right. Exactly."

I sort of wanted to hit her but I didn't want to because of how fragile she looked right now.

"So… why Yuri?" I asked out of nowhere.

"Huh?" She glared at me. Again.

"You said you liked her ever since you—"

"Since I got to know her, yeah, yeah." The girl stood up and sat on the bed beside me. "Don't mind me."

I did mind but decided not to tell her. I don't think I'm in a position to complain.

"I was… a writer." She looked at the ceiling.

A what?

"Fucking what the fuck, right?" She said as she looked at me.

I nodded.

"I wrote books. Shit ton of them. Well, maybe not tons but just a few. I loved making up worlds and shit and then put people on them. That's all I did with my spare time."

She then lied down on the bed with her arms on the back of her head.

"So that's all I did. I wrote stories and tried to sell 'em. And I know what you're wondering; did they sell?"

I nodded again.

"Yeah. They sold decently. Not bestseller status but enough to put my name out there."

"Wait, you said you were a writer? You don't write anymore?"

"Wow, Sherlock. That's some detective work you got. No I don't. You know what's the most fun I had with my writing?"

"The… characters?"

"Well done, Sherlock. I love my characters, Sherlock. I love them like they're family. I love their world as much as well."

"What does that have to do with you stopping?"

"I ended the story. The other books I wrote didn't sell as well as my first one. People are begging for more but I set my foot down and told them no. Eventually, publishers turned me down if what I submitted wasn't related to my previous work."

"Can't you just make another world you're passionate about?"

"That's the thing, Holmes. I can't. I think I poured in my heart so much that my heart was left in my best work and it shows."

I began to smell smoke then saw her smoking a cigarette.

"So when Yuri showed so much passion with reading, I just loved her right from that moment. Her passion reminded me of myself. When I still had my heart."

"Your heart?"

"Corny shit, right?" She let out smoke rings. "Yuri's not much of a novel writer but her dedication to words, to form, to meaning. I think I was like that."

I never thought of how people relate themselves to characters that way. The only way I liked Monika was because I found her arguments in Act Three agreeable. I never really found myself in her.

"Oh and Yuri is also hella hot."


	20. Chapter 16: Penumbra

Her smoking made me want to smoke one but I kept my urge. Monika wouldn't like that. Speaking of Monika, she still hadn't showed up. She's probably still talking with Yuri.

As for this girl beside me, I guess she calmed down? She was so volatile and now she's so open. And she's pretty good with smoke rings, something I've always struggled with. Or had.

I heard my phone vibrate. It was still connected to the computer so I decided not to look at it.

The girl got off the bed and picked up her pistol.

"Can we go back to just talking?"

She lied down on the bed again.

"Sure."

I wasn't sure if she's being open to me because she thought I'm dependable or it wouldn't matter because she'll kill me in the end. She opened the revolver's chamber, checking the ammunition. I couldn't see if the revolver was loaded or not

"Why do you even have a gun anyway?" I asked.

"Because I wanted to kill myself." She closed the chamber. "But I'm too much of a bitch to actually fire a bullet into my head. I thought it was going to be easy but you really gotta wonder if it actually is painless. What if it only looks painless? What if I mess up and end up in the hospital? Things like that keep me from it."

I don't know what to think of her anymore.

"Hello?" Monika called out from the screen.

"Monika!" I stood up. "What happened?"

"Long story short, Yuri's fine. She's just worried about Luce."

"Who?" I asked.

"The girl with you. Speaking of her, where is she?"

I was about to say she was right beside me but she wasn't there. The door was instead left open.

"Where did she—"

"This is bad. You have to find her!"

"What, why?"

"Apparently she's been skipping her meds. Yuri has been making her take them but lately she didn't because of our contact with her."

"What kind of meds?"

"For her mental condition." Monika looked at me with a dead serious stare. "Go! Now!"

I bolted off the bed and ran out of the room. I then saw her front door open. As I rushed outside the house, I immediately tried to guess as to where the hell she could be. I ran to the stairs, hoping I could see her from the rooftop of the apartment building. My heart pounded with each step. I didn't know what was wrong with her head, but I can only guess it led to her pointing that pistol at us. And now, she's carrying that same pistol.

I found her standing in front of the building's ledge. The pistol was still in her hand. The setup already was too familiar.

She turned around, looking eerily normal with a bored face.

"Hey. How did you know I'm here?" She called out to me.

"I didn't."

She smiled. "What do you think hurts more, jumping off of a building or a bullet to the head?"

I wasn't sure what to do.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked. Of course, I already know the answer. Either she was going to jump or shoot. Neither of those will happen. I have to stop her.

"I don't know." She looked at her pistol. "Yuri's fine, right?"

"Yeah."

She proceeded to point the pistol on the side of her head.

"That's good. I think you guys can help her better than me. I tried to help but in the end, she helped me. I can't do anything right. I thought I could at least make Yuri happy. I was wrong. I'm always wrong."

"Luce, don't." I took a step towards her. "You pull that trigger and that will be the end of it."

"You're making me really want to pull the trigger now." Luce smiled.

I'm a fucking idiot, what the hell am I saying?

"What I mean is that you may end your life but everything else won't."

"Huh?"

"Yuri will be sad if you died."

"I know. I've already accepted that."

I thought I could guilt-trip her to not to kill herself with Yuri but there goes my idea.

"Maybe I can help."

"What can you do? You can't change the past. I sure as hell tried. I tried to forget. I tried to do anything but remember. Nothing worked."

The past? She must have had a traumatic experience. Fuck, I don't know enough about her to talk her out of this.

"Come on, we can talk about this. I'll listen."

For a full second, we stared at each other.

"You'll listen?"

"Yeah."

"You know, of all the people who convinced me to stay, you're the only one who said you'll listen."

"What did the others say?"

"Don't do it. You'll regret it the last second. Someone will be sad. You're a gift to this world. All that bullshit. Ha. Even my doctor is an incompetent fool. That's what I get for skimming cash on healthcare."

"Okay, but could you please put that away?"

Luce pulled the pistol away from her head and looked at it.

"I'm just so tired. Everyday, I wake up feeling more broken. Yuri was my last hope. And when you guys came, she sounded happy. I didn't know what I was living for anymore."

I walked towards her and sat on the ledge next to her.

"Then, what was your last hope before Yuri?"

Luce opened the pistol's chamber and dropped all of the bullets in it into the ground. It was unnerving to think that the pistol was loaded to the maximum.

"I think I told you that I was a writer, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I had an editor. Who also was my best friend." Luce then looked up into the sky. "She was a professional editor and I was just a bumbling idiot who writes for fun. When she read one of my stories, she told me she wanted the world to see it. Of course, I didn't want that; I wrote only for myself and her. "

"So, in a way, that story was a collaboration?"

"Yeah. I thought she was just going to fix my grammar and whatnot but she actually added to it. It became something bigger than what I originally envisioned it. Months later, I submitted it to a publisher. I thought I could surprise her and shit. I got in and I was going to tell her."

Luce stepped down from the ledge and sat on the ground, hugging her knees.

"Only to find out that she died."

"What, how?"

"I found her in her room. Apparently she had a weak heart. I noticed her computer showed the approved manuscripts from the publisher. She was going to tell me but she got too excited and… "

I felt sick. I don't know how to feel about such a death. To know someone close to you died because they were happy for you. It was so wrong. Someone being happy shouldn't die like that and yet it happened.

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing I can say.

"God, I haven't talked about that in a year." Luce looked up to the early morning sky again, her eyes wet with tears. "I always wanted to die so I can tell her personally. But I'm always too scared to do it. Even now, I couldn't do it."

"Luce..."

In the distance, the sun was rising. At that moment, I didn't know what else to say. I don't know what can make her feel better. I let her cry. I think it would be awkward to give her anything like a hug so I watched in silence.


	21. Chapter 17: Question

Daylight shone brightly on the distance, lighting up the very rooftop Luce and I stood on. She had since calmed down and thankfully handed me the pistol. I felt so relieved that she did and terrified that I was actually holding a legitimate firearm. Fortunately it was still empty. I picked up the ammunition on the ground and pocketed them for now.

"You okay now?" I asked.

"Yeah. How did you know my name?"

"Monika told me."

Still sitting, she looked at me, her eyes looking tired from crying.

"You love her, don't you?" Luce said, which widened my eyes.

Noticing this, she laughed. "It's alright. I was guessing and luckily your face gives out enough information for me to process."

"Am I really that easy to read?" I facepalmed.

We returned to Luce's room and had Luce take her medication. The pistol was still with me along with the bullets. I don't know what to do with them but I think it's safer for it to be with me. I just hope I don't get caught by cops.

Monika happily told me Yuri was doing fine and was actually the one taking care of Luce by talking to her. Sure, Yuri was depressed about what happened to her during the game but she found Luce's condition to be worse. I don't see how getting killed is somehow not as worse, if not the worst, to Luce's condition. Maybe Yuri's just too kind and I'm a judgmental asshole.

"Thank goodness you're okay," Yuri said, smiling from the screen and looking like she's about to cry. "I don't know what would I do if anything happened to you."

"I'm sorry Yuri," Luce groaned. "I know I was being a bitch and all. I didn't mean to make you worried."

"I'm just glad you're okay now." Yuri let out a sigh of relief.

I thought it was Luce taking care of Yuri but it was actually the other way around.

"Now we have things in order, we have to discuss the elephant in the room." Monika announced, walking in and stopping beside Yuri. "Creuset."

I almost forgot about Creuset with what just happened.

"I agree with Monika," Yuri added. "There simply is too much questions around that person."

"Hold it," Luce interrupted, showing the palm of her hand.

"Yes?" Monika asked, turning to Luce.

"Is it just me or there's something weird here?"

Monika looked at me and winked. Should I know whatever Monika is winking about?

"What is it?" Yuri asked.

"There's something in here. I can't quite put my finger on it…"

After hearing Yuri, I knew what Monika was hinting. I guess I'll play along.

"I don't see anything," I shrugged.

"Are you sure?" Luce faced me then folded her arms as she closed her eyes. "Maybe it's just me then… "

I noticed Monika giggling a bit then putting her index finger on her lips. Yeah, yeah, I know.

"First, it's Creuset," Yuri announced. "Just who is she? How did she have access to files that enables us to be awake? If that's the case then will Natsuki and Sayori be conscious as well?"

"So how did you meet Creuset, Luce?" I wondered out loud.

"Twitter." Luce sat down on her bed. "I liked some of her tweets for a while and we started talking in the replies. Eventually we started chatting. How about you?"

"Anime forum then we chatted through email." I answered.

"You chat through email?" Luce looked at me skeptically. "What, you guys never chatted anywhere else?"

"It's the only way I can contact her."

Luce whistled. "Wow, that's kinda old fashioned."

My phone vibrated. I went to the computer and unplugged my phone. Looking at the screen, I read that Creuset sent an email to me. I opened it and read:

 _Hey! Sorry I haven't been able to keep in touch with you. I've been busy with work. How are things?_

"It's Creuset," I announced.

"What did she say?" Yuri asked.

"Just asking how are things. Should I reply?" I asked.

"Yeah." Monika nodded.

"What should I say?"

"Just answer as you always have. We can't let her be suspicious of us."

"Suspicious? Creuset's not a villain, guys," Luce said, raising an eyebrow to Monika. "If anything, he made it possible to meet Yuri. He's pretty cool. Except for the cutesy stuff. That's some gay shit right there."

"We still don't know a lot about her," Yuri said. "She should have told you about me when she sent that download link to you. Even after you posted about me she neither react nor contacted us."

I looked at Creuset's email. To be honest, I don't know what to think. Creuset had been kind to me and it felt real too. She had been my only friend for a long time but recent events had made me doubt her intentions. I guess Luce felt the same way. Monika and Yuri seem to question Creuset more that Luce and me.

"But," Monika interjected as she looked at me, "I'm sure you know what to tell Creuset, love."

I smiled at her and looked back on my phone. I typed in a reply.

 _Just hanging out with my friends._

I clicked send. A reply came quick. It felt like long ago since I had Creuset's lightning fast replies. I opened her reply.

 _With friends? That's nice! Not to be rude, but I didn't think you were the type to hang out. Sorry! Anyways, any news on Yuri?_

There it is. The vague questioning that put Creuset on the doubt pedestal. Seemingly innocent but always hinting at something more. I don't know if she's doing it on purpose or just misguided that I wouldn't notice. I typed another reply.  
 _  
Yuri? You mean on Twitter? I met the girl who claims that. Turns out Yuri's real.  
_  
I clicked send. Immediately, another reply came in.

 _That's great! This is amazing stuff! Also you became friends with Luce then? The more the merrier! I want to meet Yuri too!_

"What did she say?" Monika asked.

"She wants to meet Yuri."

I looked at Yuri and I noticed a slight discomfort from her face.

"This is going to be quite difficult," Monika folded her arms. "If she wants to meet, there has to be some sort of catch."

"Yes. I don't know what entails with meeting her. If she truly is our benefactor, then she may have something to keep us in check."

For a full minute, we sat in silence. We didn't know what to do. Luckily Creuset hadn't replied. She's pretty patient for someone who can type in milliseconds.

Suddenly, Luce stood up and pointed.

"Wait, Yuri can fucking talk?!"


	22. Secret Poem Number 5

I dreamt of a faraway place, a place not of this world

The sun shone bright, just right and warm

It kept the words on my book readable

The wind blew as if to tickle my skin

Breeze that kept me refreshed and satisfied

But I was not alone, no I wasn't

They came to read with me

Underneath the splendor of that beautiful weather

Over the wonderful green grass

Sharing thoughts, insights, cheers

I woke up with a smile

Because I know it can be real

This dream can be a reality

Someday we can be together again

Sharing thoughts, insights, cheers

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

I think that was too sentimental… That's so unusual of me… I guess I miss them a lot. I just want everything to be normal but with what's happening to me, I don't think it'll be that easy. Even after everything that happened, I still want to see them. I was hurt, I know, but I understand now. I want to tell them that they're important to me. That I love them. Will I be even be able to say those words? I don't I've said anything like that in my entire life.

Luce? Are you reading my works again? I know this is your computer but please understand that I basically am a part of it now. I'm not really confident with my latest works. If anything, I'm just writing without much thinking. I usually write longer poems.

Wait, you're not Luce? Oh. Um. I don't know what to say to you. How are you even reading this? This is supposed to be a private thing. I'd appreciate it if you could respect my privacy. But… I'd like it too if you could tell me what you think about it.


	23. Chapter 18: Rewind

_The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.  
Bathing.  
It must be this one.  
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.  
the last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green of the future.  
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.  
The light flickers.  
I flicker back._

Let's be honest here; I don't understand a fucking word in there but it was beautiful. I think there was a word for that but let's not waste time scratching our heads trying to remember. How many times have I read that poem? Hundred? Thousand? I can even write it off my head if I wanted to.

It's been a three weeks since I finished this game. Wait, maybe a month? Anyways, I'm not gonna say that stupid title. And yet this stupid game managed to enrapture me with its story. It's not the most complicated out there but probably one of the most impactful. Or maybe it's because I never play these kind of games before. Last time I checked, visual novels are picture books with porn on them. If I wanted porn, I would've gone somewhere else. But this friend I met on Twitter kept annoying me with games he wanted me to try. I don't hate him but he's a little pushy. I finally gave in when I told him I'd play one of his stupid games and oh boy, did it fuck me up in more ways than one.

Playing it, I forced myself not to quit or throw my wireless keyboard at my screen. Until I saw Yuri. At least she was dignified and actually a person who is into literature. The rest were… questionable. I don't know if manga is actual literature but I'm pretty sure you have to read more than goddamned manga to be in a literature club.

When the suicide scene came up, I was pretty sure that I'd see another cutesy CG art of Sayori sleeping in her bed. Hm? Didn't I notice Monika's lines? Yeah, I did but who the fuck would think that would lead to Sayori's fucking death? That scene made me scream. I couldn't believe my eyes. When that scene ended, I wanted to stop playing it. When I saw the main menu, I felt cold. Playing the game on Act 2 felt like a bad deja vu.

When everyone started to act differently, I became horrified. I didn't want anyone else to die. It didn't help that I had clinical depression too. But what took me to almost losing it was when Yuri stabbed herself. It felt like I lost someone important to me again. Thank fucking goodness I took medication that day.

After finishing the game, I replayed it up to the point Yuri was going to kill herself. I left it on that screen.

 _Do you accept my confession?_

I didn't click any further than that. To me, it was one of the ways I saved her. It's like freezing time for Yuri. Sure, nothing else happens but in that moment, Yuri is alive. In a way, I am holding the knife that would eventually pierce her skin. I don't want to lose someone again. Maybe I'm just wishing that I could save her.

God, I can't. If I remember, I'm gonna break again. I can't. Fuck, I didn't take my medication again. That's the fifth day I skipped. No, I didn't forget; I just felt like it was pointless. I sat down on my bed, breathing in and out as I tried to calm myself down.

"Holly..." I whispered to no one. It's fine to remember her name. Just don't remember what happened. Just don't remember what happened. Just don't remember what happened.

I lied down on my bed and stared at my ceiling. I think she would have loved Yuri too. Yuri reminded me of myself a lot so…

"Fuck."

I got myself off my bed and reached for a small box under my bed. I opened the box and pulled out the item inside.

A Single Action Army. It wasn't really mine though. It was Holly's. I got it from her as a gift because she remembered I loved that particular scene from Metal Gear. Of course, she never gave any bullets for it. We just messed around trying to do juggles with it. It came with a lot of problems though; paperwork, evaluations and whatnot just to keep it. Looking at it made me remember her more. It made me smile.

So I pointed the gun on the side of my head and pulled the trigger. Of course, only a click came out from the gun. I think I've done this way too much. Each day without her made me wish it was loaded when I pull the trigger. I don't think she would like that; me killing myself with a gun she gave me. I just want to see her again. But I can't. Reality is a bitch, after all. I placed the gun back to its box and slid it back into darkness underneath my bed.

God, what is wrong with me? Unfortunately, I know the answer and the answer doesn't help.

It was then I heard a clang of metal hitting the ground. I turned around and looked for whatever it was. What the hell hit the floor? Nothing. Then, I looked at my TV. Yuri was still there but she wasn't doing her mad grin. Instead, she looked confused and about to cry. What? Her text box said something.

'What's going on?'

What the fuck? There's more to it?

"The hell is this?"

'What am I doing?' Yuri covered her face with her hands, as if she was crying. 'No! I didn't mean to! I didn't what I said! Those weren't my words!'

"Yuri?" I can't help but call out. I know it's a game but I felt so worried.

'Who's there?' Yuri lowered her hands. 'Who are you?'

"Me?" Wow, someone thought their game through.

"It's Luce who saved your ass." I said out loud as I looked for my mouse and keyboard so I can click an answer.

'Luce? What are you doing?'

I looked up and saw the text.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm looking for my mouse so I can answer you."

'But I can hear you just fine.'

"Don't be stupid. I need a mouse to at least click my answer—" I stopped and stared at Yuri who in turn was also staring at me. "Wait, you can hear me?"

'Yes?'


	24. Chapter 19: Sequela

I started thinking about the side effects of not taking your prescribed medication because HOLY FUCK Yuri is talking back to me. Well, not talking but rather texting back to me. More like a live chat, I guess?

I rummaged through my drawer next to my bed, searching for my medication.

"Shit. Shit shit shit."

I couldn't find it. I just ended up tossing the stuff inside my drawing everywhere. I looked up and saw Yuri again who looked confused as I am. I sat down on my bed and covered my face with my hands

Okay, think this through. Yuri is actually talking to me. Am I dreaming? Of course not. In dreams nobody can read shit; All writings become weird. So not a dream. Then what is happening? This could be a really well written script. Only one way to find out.

"Yuri?" I called out.

'Yes?' Yuri answered.

If I'm right, I should be able to trick her into saying the same thing again if she is indeed an AI.

"Do you remember my name?"

She should say my in-game name.

'It's Luce, right? I overheard you talking to yourself sometimes. I hope you don't mind that.'

Wait. Wait a goddamn minute. The name I inputted in the game wasn't my name. My computer wasn't certainly named after me. How the hell did she… Unless she CAN hear me? No that can't be. This is a stupid depresso game, how can it have super AIs on it? I then noticed Yuri glancing around her and looking very anxious.

"Are you feeling okay, Yuri?"

'I'm… not. I just… need time to take it all in. It's just—' Yuri suddenly covered her face with her hands.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

'I was about to— Oh god.'

Shit. Holy fucking shit. I just realized that it might be the best idea to leave her in a state where she was about to fucking stab herself. What am I fucking doing?

"Yuri, calm down. It's my fault for leaving you in that scene. If you want anyone to blame, it's me."

Yuri wiped her eyes which was pretty amazing to see because I never saw her move before.

'It's alright. I don't blame you for this. I know what you're trying to do. It's actually sweet, though unfortunate for me.'

"You know?"

'I've been hearing you talking to yourself these past weeks. I guess in a way I learned about you.'

Oh. OH. Who knew someone was actually listening this whole time? What the hell did I talked about? Did she hear me singing? I suck so much at singing I should get beaten for it and now Yuri might have heard me!

"Oh god." I facepalmed.

'What's wrong?'

"Oh my fucking god." I looked up to the screen. "What did you hear me say?"

'Um, I don't think you want to know.'

Great. My favorite character in Doki Doki Literature Club heard me singing like a fucking rat caught in a mouse trap. Great.

'But I just want you to know I don't think you're a bad person. You're a good person. At least from what I heard.'

 _I just want you to know I don't think you're a bad person. You're a good person._

Holly? Are you there? Are you pretending to be Yuri? No, you've been dead for a year now. When did you said to me last time?

"Holly… "

'Who is… Holly?'

Holly is… No, Holly WAS. People always say was with dead people. I bowed my head. Avoiding Yuri in my sight, I knelt down withdraw the box underneath my bed. I opened it and pulled out the gun.

'What are you doing?'

I don't know what Yuri was saying at that point. I felt like I was moving out of control. I felt unlike myself. I let my body do what it wanted. My hand held the gun and pointed it on my head.

'Stop! Don't! Please!'

With my back turned on Yuri, my hand began to slowly pull the trigger.

'PLEASE DON'T! I'M BEGGING YOU!'

Click. The gun failed it's purpose once again.

'It's empty?'

My hand pulled the trigger again. Click.

'Please, listen to me.'

 _So be yourself. A bad person's bad because he did bad things._

Click. Another failure.

I'm a bad person, Holly.

Click. Another failure.

Click—

And then, a loud noise came out of the television's speakers. It made my head turn to it.

'STOP!'

I read those words and suddenly I was in control again. I looked at the gun with disgust. I never pulled the trigger that many times before. I knew I was getting out of control. I looked at Yuri. She was still crying but not for herself; she was crying for me.

'Please. I don't want anyone else to… To… '

To what? Oh, right. To kill themselves. She almost did so. Maybe she remembered Sayori's too. What the hell am I doing? I don't to hurt her.

I lowered the gun back to its case. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry."

* * *

For the first time in my life, I actually wanted to live. Not for myself, but for Yuri. I didn't want her to see my last moments as suicide. That would be terrible for her. I can't let that happen. I tried to sober myself up by taking my medication. I told Yuri that I was going to be fine and that I would take my meds daily.

After that, I spent my whole afternoon talking to Yuri. We talked about books that we liked, writing techniques, poetry, and even fanfiction. I couldn't believe me ears when Yuri said she wrote fanfiction but never published them. I wrote some but I preferred writing original stories. What really piqued my interest was the Portrait of Markov's story. Actually hearing the details of the story blew my mind. Never before had I wanted to read a book that only existed in fiction so badly. Like holy shit, I want to buy a three copies; one for keeping, one for reading, and one for display. And that made Yuri laugh. Well, I didn't hear her laugh but you get the point.

"I still can't believe you're real," I said while sitting on my bed.

'Well I still can't believe there's a whole different world from mine. Like a parallel universe...'

"You think there might be others like you?"

'Like me?'

"Yeah, Maybe Sayori or Natsuki's out there with someone."

'There is that possibility. But how can we know for sure?'

"Baby, that's what the Internet's for."


	25. Chapter 20: Tranquility

I did say the Internet. I did say we might find answers. But I forgot important things.

Firstly, I said MIGHT. So far, nothing came up. Apparently, typing in 'conscious Doki Doki Literature Club Yuri' doesn't give any relevant answers.

Secondly, it's the Internet. In a place where everyone assumes there are no girls in the Internet unless you show your tits and statements can be either really sarcastic or really honestly stupid, no one's gonna take my claim seriously. I posted a tweet on Twitter asking if anyone else had a Doki Doki character talk to them. Of course, I was met with suspicion and ridicule. Even my DMs became saturated with trolls. Fuck.

Yuri didn't understand though. She never was a fan of social media aspect of the Internet.

I thought of sending a message to Dan Salvato's Twitter but I decided not to. From what I gathered, no one else had a sentient visual novel character on their computers. This also eliminates Monika's official Twitter too. Most likely it's under Team Salvato's management.

There's only one person who doesn't think I'm crazy. The very person who made me play this cursed game. His Twitter handle is creusetsan. I don't remember much how I met this weeb but I like him. He's pretty nerdy but not too much and he can be pretty funny at times. It wasn't long before I got pretty chatty with him though we never talked about real life, just anime and video games. The only problem with him is that he likes girly stuff. Listen, I have no problem with people liking pink, ponies, or even both but MY GOD this guy. This fucking guy. He will suggest an anime or cartoon that will just make me wish I never owned the Barbie dolls I had as a kid. I turned down magical girl shows, a pony cartoon, and even plain romance animes. In his credit, he didn't turn down most of my suggestions. He even fucking watched Corpse Party. Dude's insane, I tell you.

I was sitting on my bed, browsing Twitter on my laptop. I didn't want to use the computer Yuri was in. I sent him a message about Yuri, to see if he knows anything about it. He did send me the download link for it. I still have the download link too on my DMs.

And like a fiber cable connection, Creuset replied. It made me think he's probably connected to NASA's internet or something. I opened his reply.

 _You're not kidding? That's amazing! How is Yuri?_

That a rather short reply. How is Yuri, what kind of question is that? I thought he'd be like LMAO you talkin' shit or something. Eh, whatever. This is Creuset I'm talking to.

 _Yuri's actually doing fine. She's taking it all slowly in. You know, being in a computer and shit._

I clicked reply and before I could even get my ass of my fucking bed, a reply came in. LET ME GET MY DAMN CUP NOODLES, BITCH. I opened it.

 _That's great! IIRC, she's your favorite, right?_

I typed in my reply.

 _Yeah. I'm pretty confused how this all happened. Any idea?_

I clicked send. I waited for Creuset's reply for a minute but nothing came. The fuck? Did he fell asleep or something? Fuck it. I stood up and ran for my now overcooked instant noodles.

* * *

After eating, Yuri suggested I take a look at the game files. There might be clues in there if we should believe the game mechanics worked at this point. I wasn't sure if I should; I didn't want to accidentally close the game or delete anything. If Monika was right, closing the game would send an 'awakened' character pain and fucked up visions. But Yuri was right; we had no other leads.

And so I sat down and grabbed my wireless keyboard and mouse and started. It was weird to have Yuri's window minimized. What if she wanted to say something? I decided to make it quick so I can put her back on screen. So far, the game files looked the same. No new files though. I opened up the Characters folder and what the fuck? Yuri's chr file became a folder? I opened the folder and inside was a shit ton of files that I don't know what they are for. I'm pretty sure her file wasn't like this when I played… How big is this folder? I checked its properties and its…

OVER A HUNDRED AND FIFTY GIGABYTES?!

How?! How the hell did so much memory got in here without alarming my goddamn antivirus?! Creuset, what the fuck did you send me?!

I then heard a weird sound. Oh wait, it's the click sound from the Doki Doki game. Yuri's probably making that sound. I minimized everything and opened the game window.

'Are you alright?' Yuri asked, looking worried. She sat on a chair with her arms on top of a desk which reminded me of Monika's Act Three room. 'I heard you scream about something.'

And I thought I didn't. What is wrong with— Wait, I know.

"It's just that your file is different now. That's all that changed."

'I see.'

"Yeah… So uh. I'll think of something."

'That would be… nice.'

After that… Nothing. We just sort of stared to somewhere else rather than looking at each other. Fuck, this weird atmosphere is making me, well… feel weird. AH WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT WITH YURI I DON'T KNOW HER THAT MUCH AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME THAT MUCH LIKE WHAT THE FRESH HELL IS THIS I HAVEN'T TALKED TO REAL PEOPLE IN ALMOST A YEAR GOD THIS IS SO AWKWARD SOMEONE KNOCK ON MY DOOR PLEASE—

'Um, can I ask you something?'

"Y-yeah! Sure, fire away." Thank god she said something.

'Your hair. Why is it like that?'

"My hair?"

'Yes, I just noticed half of your hair is shaved but half of it is still long. Are you in the middle of shaving your hair?'

I choked and then laughed. What, in the middle of shaving? Oh my god. My stomach fucking hurt now.

'Did I say something wrong?' Yuri wondered, looking all confused.

"Wait," I said, holding my aching stomach. "Lemme just… compose my shit."

"Okay." I took in a deep breath and exhale. "It's my hairstyle."

'Um, that's a hairstyle?'

"Yeah, it is."

'But it looks unfinished.'

"It's… How the hell am I gonna explain… Well, it's different. But it's kinda common now with people."

'Really?'

"It's alright Yuri. I know you love books than going outside. Wait, me too."

'Then how did you end up with that hairstyle?'

"It's because..."

Holly loved it. She used to say she would do it herself but her mother would probably disown her if she did. I wasn't sure if she was exaggerating or not but it was enough that she kept her long hair.

'Did Holly suggested it?'

"How did you—"

'Sorry! I didn't mean to hear! It's just that I've heard you say that name numerous times.'

"It's alright. Yeah. Holly wanted a haircut like this," I moved my hair so she could see it more clearly. "But she couldn't."

'Why not?'

"She's dead."

Yuri's eyes widened. 'I'm so sorry.'

"It's alright. I… kinda wanted to talk about it. I don't know. I thought I didn't want to remember her after her death, but I wanted to talk about her. At least with you. I think she would've liked you."

For a few seconds, Yuri looked like she was contemplating whether she wanted to pursue the topic or not. Eventually, I knew her answer. 'Tell me about her.'

Well, where do I fucking begin?


	26. Chapter 21: Umbrage

Time flew by whenever Holly and I hang out. We would play video games, watch shitty anime or whatever she was into (Doctor Who was terrible but I never told her that) and I wouldn't notice how much time passed. Sometimes we just forget sleep. Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have let Holly go through those nights sleepless. She did have that heart condition but she never showed any signs of it. In fact, she probably hid it from me. What the hell am I saying? Back to the present.

Even just talking about Holly made time flew. I had no idea how much time I spent with her that I could talk about it for hours. Days even. How Holly can actually fucking juggle the Single Action Army. How Holly would bitch about the new Doctor (it's just the Doctor, not Doctor Who). When I gave Holly a smut about Teen Titans cartoon as a joke and she ended up going red. When Holly slept over but ended up arguing about the story I was working on instead.

Right now, I just told Yuri about Holly's ex-boyfriend who thought I was banging her despite dating him. Of course, Holly dumped the sad sack after hearing that from HIM. I laughed so much as I told Yuri who seemed to be laughing too . I don't know, I'm laughing too hard to notice as well.

'You really love her, don't you?'

I looked up to her. "Yeah."

'She's a wonderful person. I can see she brings the best in you.'

"I know. She's the reason why I even still have a job."

I don't know what the date was anymore. I just talked to Yuri almost nonstop then I took a nap then ate a little. Yuri would tell me to take my medication (I would skip on those) or take a bath then we'd talk whatever, whether it was about books or Holly, time would be like on fast forward.

And then my phone rang. Probably an email. I opened my phone and noticed a message from Twitter. Probably Creuset. I opened his message.

Hey! I think I suddenly left you hanging last week. Really sorry! I didn't mean to. IRL things, you know? Anyways, I have no idea how Yuri became real. All I did was send you an installer.

Great, there goes another lead down. I typed in my reply.

Damn. I'm out of leads. Any ideas?

And like the thunder of Thor, Creuset's reply came in. He must have some mad typing skills. I opened it.

Try looking in your inbox? Maybe someone is willing to help? Sorry, I really don't .know what to do. I gotta go. Give Yuri my regards, okay?

Give Yuri my regards? Geez. At least he's not calling me crazy. I don't really want to do this but I guess I'll have to look into my inbox now…

I opened my laptop and told Yuri about what I was doing. So into I go to Twitter, open my inbox and what do you know, most of it is shit. Most DMs were just questions on where to get the mod. Fuck. I scrolled down and skimmed most of it. And then I got a new message. If this was another 'mod download link plz', I will delete my goddamn account. I opened the message.

Hi. I know you probably had many messages like this but I want to know if Yuri really is alive.

Well that's fresh. A stupid question but still. Fuck it, if this guy is messing with me, I'm deleting my account.

You fucking cunt better not be one of those trolls. Yes, she's alive (for the millionth time). IF YOU CAN'T HELP THEN I'M GOING TO BLOCK YOU.

And sent. This should keep him away. A reply came in fast. Not as fast as Creuset though. I opened it.

Help? Is something wrong with Yuri?

Aren't you the curious bastard? It could be that he knows something or he just know how to push my it, I ain't having any of it.

Do you even believe with what I said in my post? If you're just wasting my time, I'll block you.

That should shut him up. I closed down the lid of my laptop and let out a sigh.

'You look annoyed,' Yuri commented.

"Yeah, well, nothing came up from the photo we uploaded on my Twitter. Just people thinking you're made up and asking if I could share the mod. Fucking idiots."

'Have you taken your medicine? You seem too tense.'

"Yeah."

Another lie. And then another reply came from the stranger. JUST GIVE UP ALREADY FOR FUCK'S SAKE. I opened his message.

I believe you because I have Monika with me. Did you receive an installer from Creuset? She might have something to do with Monika and Yuri.

I suddenly felt cold. His words froze my hands from moving the touchpad. The fuck? Monika is real? She did all this! This fucking bitch made Yuri cry. Why the hell is he not deleting her?! And he knew Creuset too? What the hell? I then heard a sound from the television. I looked up.

'Luce? You're sweating… Are you alright?'

"I'm fine." I shook my head. "I'm fine. It's just… Someone might have Monika. With conscience."

'What?' Yuri's eyes widened. 'Monika? I-I don't know what to think of this. Can she help us?'

"I don't know. I'm sending a reply, see if they want to meet."

I typed in my reply.

Let's meet. It's better if I see your proof in person. Bring Monika. I don't care if she's on a desktop computer. Do something so she's there too.

Sent. I got off the bed and took the box underneath it. I opened it and took the gun. I took off the false bottom and took six bullets. Life's too short to not be careful. Yuri looked worried as I inspect the gun.

'Do you really need that?'

"I'm meeting this stranger who has Monika. For all I know he might be lying to get you. This is just protection."

I looked at the laptop again and saw a new reply.

Okay. Just tell me where to go.

Perfect. If Monika was real, I'll kill her. He'll probably bring a computer. I don't think it's illegal to shoot down computers. At best, he'll charge destruction of property to me. Even if he was lying about Monika, I'll still shoot down his computer. Yuri needs to be safe from that bitch and I'm the only one who can protect her.

I closed the gun's chambers and rolled it.


	27. Chapter 22: Vague

"Luce, calm down. It's not the meds that's making you hear things," I said as I kept her meds out of her reach. "I'm serious; you don't need more!"

"Fuck it! I've been skipping for a long time! I gotta make up for it!"

"Luce, please," Yuri begged Luce who was reaching for the bottle as I held it high. "He's right. You're not hearing things. It's actually my voice."

Luce stopped trying to reach for the bottle in my hand and looked at Yuri.

"You really can talk?"

"Yes. With Monika's help."

She then turned her gaze to Monika who suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Hi." Monika waved at Luce.

Luce leered at Monika for a second and then sighed.

"I, uh, owe you an apology." Luce scratched the back of her head. "You know, for trying to..."

"It's… not okay, to be honest," Monika said. "But I forgive you. Yuri's friend is a friend of mine too."

I let out a sigh of relief. It'd be troubling if Luce still felt negative about Monika. I checked my phone for any other emails. Nothing. I guess I have to type out my reply then.

 _If you know Luce then I guess it should be fine. Where do you even live anyway?_

I clicked send. Creuset didn't reply after I sent my email. Maybe she's planning something? Or preparing? Whatever the case, it's clear Creuset was involved with Monika and Yuri.

"You know, I talked to Creuset a lot but I never really asked him anything personal," Luce said as she folded her arms.

"Creuset's a girl, Luce," Yuri corrected.

"Riiiiight. Did you ask and he said 'yeah I'm a little girl tee hee'?"

"I did ask," I added. "She even sent us a recording of her voice. Creuset said she wanted to try voicing one of the characters from Doki Doki."

"Huh. Now I'm curious what he sounds like. Play it for me."

I opened the file on my phone and turned up the volume so everyone could hear.

Oh, is it on? Right. This is my first recording sample! I don't know if I can do this right…

"Whoa, she sounds hella cute," Luce commented.

Okay, here goes! Ahem—

"Wait, why'd you paused it?" Luce wondered as she looked at me.

"That was it," Monika said.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa, you gotta be fucking kidding me, right? It was just about to get good! We didn't even hear who the hell she's supposed to voice!"

I looked at Yuri and noticed the sheer shock on her face. It was the same with Monika; they remember things that aren't part of the game but not quite perfectly.

"Who… was that?" Yuri whispered loudly, her voice shaking.

"We don't know," Monika answered. "Which can only mean one thing."

"That what, Creuset is a cute as fuck girl?" Luce joked. "Now I'm really curious how she looks like."

"No," Monika said, "it means Creuset is either Sayori or Natsuki."

I only nodded to Monika's hypothesis. Yuri looked even more shocked. As for Luce—

"Now wait just a damn minute," Luce objected. "How did you even get to that?"

"Right now, we just heard a complete stranger's voice," Monika started, "and yet I can somehow recognize it. It's like I've heard her before."

"So? People can sound familiar all the time." Luce placed her hands on the back of her head.

"The problem is that Creuset's voice sounded too familiar," Monika pointed out with her finger. "Like someone I knew. You don't mistake your friend's voice for someone else's because they are that distinct to you."

"Okay, fine. Maybe it's someone's voice from your school. Maybe someone from the debate club or something."

"That may be true. I thought that might the case but if even Yuri can sense familiarity with Creuset's voice, then it's someone we both know."

"Yuri… recognized Creuset?" Luce turned to Yuri, only to see her nod. "Holy fuck."

"Yes. It was very surprising for me. There are only few people I know at school and if Monika recognizes her too then it must be either Sayori or Natsuki."

"This is getting kinda… I don't know… Shit, I'm getting goosebumps," Luce rubbed both of her shoulders. "Wait, so what the hell is the problem? If Creuset's Sayori or Natsuki, then there should be no problem going to see her."

"Yeah, I thought so too," I added. "However, Creuset always skirted around the fact Monika gained consciousness. When Monika first came to, Creuset would always ask vague questions that seem to hint she knew Monika was with me and that happened too many times."

Luce nodded. "I asked Creuset for help when Yuri gained consciousness but she said she really doesn't know what to do. Then she told me to look through my messages. That's how I found your message." Luce jumped onto her bed and lied down. "I still don't get why Sayori or Natsuki would hide from us."

"The million dollar question, huh?" I scratched my head.

"What's more curious is who is Natsuki or Sayori's handler," Yuri addressed. "They gained consciousness probably the same way as us but then who was playing the game?"

"Huh. I never thought of that," Monika admitted. "Worse is that we never heard from Creuset's handler. There's no way Sayori or Natsuki would ask their handler to leave them alone. Too many risks leaving a computer running by itself like power outage or even overheating."

"Maybe they are independent?" Luce guessed. "What if they gained consciousness outside the game?"

"What? That's nonsense," Monika retorted. "We already have two cases of us getting conscious INSIDE the game."

"Geez, just suggesting some shit," Luce grunted, "Calm your tits."

"Excuse me?" Monika gasped. "I'm just saying a logical observation."

"Oh I see." Luce sat straight up and glared at Monika. "And I can't come up with anything 'logical', is that it?"

"Looks like I don't have to say it since you said it yourself," Monika mocked.

"I knew you were trouble even without the game bullshit."

I wanted to cover my ears but I know we don't have time for this. I decided to step in and—

"You two, knock it off," Yuri said sternly. "I know we're in a strange situation, talking to strange people but can we please not insult each other when we are looking for our possibly existing friends? Monika? Luce?"

Monika looked down and so did Luce. I guess Luce still had some anger in her. Monika might be because of the whole pointing a pistol on my face.

"Well?" Yuri folded her arms.

"I'm sorry, Luce," Monika said. "I'm not saying you're not logical. I guess I'm just too focused on what I know."

"I'm sorry too, I guess…" Luce agreed. "I'm still a little jittery about the whole thing with you in the game. I'm being a fucking idiot."

I think the most surprising thing was that Yuri managed to calm them down.

"Yuri, that's amazing," I whispered to her.

Yuri smiled at me. "Oh, it's nothing. I just remembered that back then when Sayori was gone, things got worse. I can't just let things escalate negatively. I couldn't do it back then but now I won't hold back."


	28. Chapter 23: Whereabouts

I let out some smoke rings after inhaling a big one from my cigarette. The rings flew into the starless sky slowly as I sat on the ledge of the rooftop, swinging my legs without a care in the world. After taking my medication I felt a little better. Or maybe that's placebo on the works.

I can't believe it took almost a day just talking to everyone in my room. Everyone was just talking about whatever and I ended joining in the thing. I thought I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone but Yuri but I guess I was wrong. I had fun talking and sharing with them. Turns out I had a lot of common interest with the dude.

I began to think about Holly again. No, not because of regrets. I was wondering what would Holly say about all this; fictional characters coming to life and their mysterious creator. She'd probably tell me it would make a good story. I took another puff and just blew. Ah fuck. Holly would flick the cigarette out of my mouth if she saw me.

"Hey."

I turned around and saw him.

"What up, bitch." I looked back into the endless lights of the buildings.

"Nothing really," he said as he sat down next to me. "Smoking, huh?"

"Another great demonstration of your deductive skills, Holmes." I then blew smoke into his face.

"Hey! What the hell?!" He coughed a bit.

I let out a hearty laugh.

"The worse kind of small talk is when one states the obvious, Sherlock. You deserve that."

"I think you can start by calling me by my name now?"

"I could. I might. Maybe I should. But I won't."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

I flicked the cigarette butt off the ledge.

"If you're gonna smoke, at least be responsible for your mess."

"Thanks, papa."

I opened my cigarette case and pulled out another stick. I offered the case to him. "Want one?"

He waved off my offer. "Used to."

"Suit yourself." I pulled out a box of matches and lit my cigarette.

"Lighters are more convenient, you know."

"Damn, Sherlock. Now you're just livin' up to your name!" I laughed which almost made me drop my cigarette. "Sorry, I'm not used to strangers."

He chuckled. "Same here. I don't even talk to my co-workers."

"Sucks to be an office worker." I tried blowing some smoke rings again but I fucked it up. "So why'd you quit?"

"Quit what? Oh, smoking." He looked away. "It's um…"

"What? You saving money or something?"

"No, it's… I stopped because of her."

I raised an eyebrow. "Her?"

"Monika."

"The fuck?"

"She's into minimizing the carbon footprint thing. I thought I'd support her."

"Dude, the world's gonna end before it turns to ash because of whatever smoke going to the air."

He just laughed. "That's what I thought too back then. I guess Monika changed me."

"For better or for worse, I guess. When is the wedding?" I joked.

"Oh, I still have to introduce her to my parents. My sister too. It's gonna be awkward but I think I can handle it."

I just stared at him with eyes wide and my jaw dropped. What the fuck is he talking about?

"What?" he asked.

"I was fucking kidding!" I exclaimed as I waved my hand which made me drop my cigarette. I watched it fall off the building. "Fuck."

"And I'm serious!"

"Wow." I pulled my cigarette case again and pulled a new stick. "And I thought Japan was fucking weird. Still, I guess there's a difference when the 2D waifu is conscious."

He suddenly lit up my cigarette with his lighter. "Glad you understand."

I inhaled and blew. "So. What's the plan?"

"Huh?"

"The plan, idiot." I flicked his forehead. "About Creuset."

He flinched in pain. "Oh right. To be honest, I don't know."

"What happened to your detective skills, Sherlock?"

He stared at the horizon. "I'm still confused on what Creuset wants. Why bring the club members to life? Who is she? Is she Natsuki or Sayori? What if she's on our side?"

"Anyone who keeps secrets, especially big ones, aren't your friends."

"That's harsh. Everyone has a secret."

"No shit, Holmes." I let out a couple of smoke rings. "I meant secrets that involves you. If they know something that has something to do with you then they have the responsibility to tell you. No exceptions."

"So they should tell you that they're throwing you a surprise birthday party?"

"Are you asking to be pushed off the ledge?"

Few minutes later, we went back to my room. Monika and Yuri agreed and decided that we should stick together so we can all easily talk to each other whenever Creuset sends us whatever.

"What about my job?" he asked. "I only said I was taking a day off."

"Love, just tell them you have some business to attend. I'm sure you'll make something up."

I looked at Yuri and saw her smile at me. I returned the gesture.

"So, we should be ready if Creuset decides to make contact with us." Monika nodded to herself. "For now, we should wait for her reply. I just hope she lives relatively close."

"I hope so too." Yuri let out a sigh. "It'll be troublesome if it turns out that she lives in another country."

"I kinda doubt it," he countered. "I mean, so far she made two club members within the same country and top of that just a city away from each other."

"Could be just sheer dumb luck you found us," I added. "No offense, just putting it out there."

"If that's the case then we'll have lower chances to meet Creuset." Monika placed her thumb on her chin. "But I think he's right; two out of four members are in proximity of each other. There's a chance that Creuset wants us to be approachable."

"So what, we just wait?" I wondered.

"It seems like it," Yuri answered.

I yawned loudly. "Fuck. I hate waiting—"

My phone rang. Speak of the devil. I opened my phone and what do you know, it's Creuset. I read her message.

 _Hi! I was wondering if I could meet Yuri. I know we never really met each other but I really want to see her! Our mutual friend said it's okay but I want to your approval._

I typed in my answer.

 _Sure. Where the hell do you even live?_

And sent it. Reply came in quick and so I read it. Apparently she lives kinda far. Well, it's really far. Farther than Sherlock's. But she decided to meet us somewhere in between my place and hers. That way we can see each other faster. Thank fucking god she suggested that or else I'll have to ride the train a couple of times befores I could even get to her place.

 _Which reminds me, this is our first IRL meeting! I'm so excited to see you! You can invite our other friend too because merrier the better._

So we're meeting this bitch. I'm gonna make sure I get answers.


	29. Chapter 24: Xenagogue

We decided to agree with Creuset's idea to meet. I wasn't sure what to expect with Creuset now. I thought she would be reluctant to meet us in person and yet here we were. Monika taught Yuri how to transfer themselves into a phone. It took a while before Yuri got it and so Yuri transferred herself into Luce's phone and Monika to mine.

As for me and Luce, we decided to plan ahead for the long travel. I don't have anything on me so I just checked maps and train schedules for us. Luce took a bath. I wish I could too; I didn't expect that I would be staying so I didn't have any extra clothes on me.

"So, are we going right after Luce washed up?" Monika asked from my phone which was on my shirt pocket.

"Probably. We did agree to Creuset's invitation." I looked at the contents of the bookshelf in Luce's living room. There were a bunch of thick fiction novels though I can't imagine myself reading something that thick. Who am I kidding, I don't even read.

I noticed one black book that seemed newer compared to the others. It was the only one without dust, as if it was pulled off the shelf often. I pulled it out and read the golden title.

"Heaven Divided?" I read aloud and realized it was a hardbound book without a paper jacket.

I opened it up and saw few pages in:

 _To Holly, who saw helped bring this world come to life._

I think she meant with this world was her life as well as the book. I flipped the book, opened it from the back, and saw the About the Author page. There wasn't a picture of Luce and the name written on it was Lucretia Ferguson. Is that her real name? Or rather her whole name?

I tried to read the book, but few lines in I found myself bored. I'm not really cut out for very descriptive paragraphs and sentences. No offense, Luce.

"You touch it, you buy it," Luce called out.

I turned around and saw Luce in a rather normal clothing: a black t-shirt and jeans.

"I see you found my magnum opus." Luce smiled. "It's also the only one."

"Don't you have other books?"

"Nope. You really need to listen better." Luce walked over and took the book from my hands. "It's the only one. Do you read? "

"I'm not really a book guy."

"Really?" Luce raised an eyebrow. "You sure look like one."

"Is that a compliment?"

"You decide."

* * *

Late afternoon. After a while, we went to the train station and waited for our ride. On my phone, Yuri looked nervous, playing with her hair with her fingers. Monika's with Luce. It was Monika's idea so we can know each other more. I guess she just wanted to be closer to Luce to avoid anymore falling out between them.

My headphones were plugged in so I can hear Yuri if she ever said anything. The problem was… I didn't hear anything. Luce and I entered the train and sat down next to each other. Luce was already talking a lot with Monika on her phone. On the other hand, I got nothing but silence from my assigned buddy.

"Um, I'm sorry," Yuri suddenly said out of nowhere. I don't know how many minutes passed since we entered the train.

"For what?" I said.

"I'm just not used to talking to people." Yuri sounded nervous. "I'm making this awkward, aren't I?"

"To be honest, I'm don't know what to say myself. I'm no good with conversations, especially strangers." I smiled.

"Really? That doesn't seem to be the case with Luce though."

I chucked. "I guess I had to. If I didn't, I wouldn't been able to talk her out of… Well…"

After a minute, Yuri spoke. "You're a kind person."

"Please. Anyone would have done the same thing I did."

"Maybe so but there are also others who would not. Luce is very lucky to have met you out of the many people in this world." I could imagine Yuri smiling as she said that though I couldn't see if she was since my phone was on my shirt pocket. "I am thankful for that."

"I guess I'm thankful for that too. I was so anxious and scared. I'm glad I forced my voice despite my doubts."

"I'm sure Luce is grateful for what you did."

Silence returned after that short conversation but it wasn't awkward. It's like we had mutual understanding that we didn't have to force a conversation if not needed. I felt more relaxed.

"Say, have you read Luce's book?" Yuri suddenly asked out of nowhere.

"Huh?" Caught by surprise, I looked at my phone. "Oh, I'm not really a book reader."

"Really? You ought to try. It is quite a great hobby to partake in. Maybe I can recommend something light for you?"

"You're gonna recommend Luce's book, aren't you?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Heaven Divided? I would recommend it but I don't think you can handle it especially when you don't read in your leisure time."

"What the hell? Don't tell me Luce writes stories with complicated language?"

"Hm, I wouldn't call it complicated but rather detailed. It's important for stories that tell a vastly different world from reality. Without it, one would be left to imagine randomly or even conjure a different image from what is intended."

"Oh. I never thought of it that way. I just thought hard books are hard."

Yuri giggled. "Would you be interested in some recommendations?"

"You better not suggest children's books."

* * *

And so Yuri asked me what kind of stories I was into and I told her: action, adventure, typically what I watch in an anime. In the end, she suggested children's books but she assured me that they're quite enjoyable even if I'm not the intended audience. Well, if she had read it, I guess that means it's good. We then got off our train and it was already evening.

"Alright, back to our original partners," Luce announced. "Gotta say, Monika is pretty talkative. Usually I'm the only who does the talking."

We connected our phones through a WiFi hotspot and Monika and Yuri exchanged places from my phone to Luce's. I found it bizarre that Monika already knew how to transfer herself wirelessly.

"I like to surprise my boyfriend," Monika commented, smiling proudly.

After the transfer, Monika told me about her conversation with Luce. Apparently, there was a bit of hostility between them but they eventually cooled down overtime. They even managed to talk normally. Of course, I wasn't able to listen to Monika's story. I was more focused on what we're about to do: meet Creuset.

Creuset told us to meet in a park. She said to wait by the benches or if she gets there first, she'll be waiting. My heart pounded thinking what kind of person was this enigma really was.

As we walked, Luce talked to Yuri loudly, even laughing out loud. Either she's carefree or she's trying to be. We arrived at the park and as expected, there weren't much people at a time like this. We looked around for a bench and eventually found one and someone was sitting on it. A person with a hoodie over their head. Now that's unfair; I wanted to know what Creuset looked like, not another cliffhanger waiting to be continued.

We stopped in front of the hooded figure. She actually looked smaller than I imagined. The hooded person had her head bowed, only reading on her tablet.

"Are you Creuset?" Luce questioned loudly.

"Long time no see." The voice already sounded familiar. "Well, we never really saw each other, but it's the thought that counts."

"How about showing us your face?" I demanded.

"You sure are different in person. I expected you to be more calm and laid-back. But, since we're all here..."

She pulled down her hoodie and looked at us.


	30. Secret Poem Number 6

Let there be a rain of swords

And I shall shower in in its entirety

I shall be the absorber of pain and misery

Let it consume me and enrapture me

I cannot go on without it, a reminder of life

Lost in the fields of lights, I find no one.

These lights, they are not mine to behold

A sword pierces through me.

Is this the pain I sought? I question myself

No, this is not the one. It was greater than this.

Hope is a lingering feeling, a part of something greater

I look inside. Inside me is a chasm.

How come I haven't fallen in? I question myself

Another sword pierces through me.

Another sword pierces through me.

The pain felt like a reminder but what for?

I pull the blade off me. I stare into the crimson reflection.

I drop the blade into the chasm inside me

It fell and fell until I see no more.

I think to myself; must I fall deeper?

The chasm, void of lights and hope

I peer in

Eternal, unending place of nothing

Perhaps I belong there.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Wow, now that was edgy as FUCK. I can't believe I wrote this shit. I really need to keep taking my meds or I'll end up writing even more. What would he think if he saw this? Hell, what if Holly saw this? She'll make fun of me for sure. Fuck it, I'm deleting this.

Oh shit. Yuri, if you read this, this was before I met you, okay? Don't be alarmed by the meaning. It's just some stupid poetry I made when I finished the game. I'm fine, alright? Good. Wait, what's the point of leaving a note if no one's gonna read it? I'm deleting it after all.

But if YOU read this, you son of a bitch Monika lover, I will personally make sure you will regret it.

To anyone else who read this by any other means, fuck you all. I'm not emo, okay?!


	31. Chapter 25: Yell

The one who started it all sat in front of us. When she let down her hoodie, I expected to see a familiar face, maybe someone close to Dan Salvato or something. Instead I was staring at a complete stranger. The above shoulder length hair with bangs braided, hoodie that seemed to be a size bigger than her.

"It's been long since chatted, wasn't it?" The girl jumped off the bench and while she held the tablet screen, covering half of her face. "But it's alright. It was worth the wait."

"Stop talking in riddles and tell me who the fuck you really are, kid." Luce pointed at the girl.

"I can't believe you actually talk the same way you chat. It's almost jarring to actually see in person."

"Cut the bullshit and just spill it already! You made all of this happen." Luce hollered at her. "Yes or no?"

"Yes." The girl sat down on the bench again. "Now that we're all here, I can finally get to work."

"Work?" I repeated. "What are you talking about?"

"Enough vague shit!" Luce slapped the tablet off the girl's hands, making it slide onto concrete. I grabbed the girl by her shoulders. "What the fuck are you planning?!"

"Luce!" I grabbed her as I screamed, trying to pull her off of the girl. "Calm down!"

The girl didn't say anything, but I saw the look of genuine fear on her face. Luce let go of her.

"My god Luce, she's just a kid," Creuset said, though not from the girl. I looked around for the source.

"What the fuck are you trying to pull here?" Luce asked aloud as she turned her head, trying to look for the source of Creuset's voice.

"Luce, calm down." I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"I'm trying, okay?"

The girl ran to her tablet, picked it up and and wiped the screen. She then said, "Are you alright, Creuset?"

My eyes went wide. What? Creuset isn't here?

"I'm fine," Creuset replied. "Don't worry about me. I'm sorry my friends scared you."

"Creuset, I want to go home."

"What the fuck is going on here?" Luce went to the kid. "Who the hell is Creuset?"

"Now Luce, calm down." Creuset's voice came from the tablet. "I don't want our first real life meeting to end with a sour note."

"Monika, who is she really?" I whispered to Monika.

"The voice is familiar, " Monika answered, "But I still have no idea who she is."

"Ah, I see you brought Monika and Yuri as well."

Did she hear me? No way. I was whispering on my headphones.

"Amity, can you face the tablet to them?" Creuset said to the girl.

"What?" Amity looked at the tablet with surprise. "But I thought you don't want to be seen?"

"They're my friends. It's alright; I trust them."

The girl named Amity looked at Luce, obviously doubtful of Creuset's words. She looked at me then back at the tablet. "Okay."

Amity turned the tablet around. Who we saw in the screen was… No one we know. On the tablet screen was a girl who wore the same school uniform as Monika. Her messy, dark brown hair reached her shoulders, which made my assumption that she was Sayori or Natsuki immediately wrong. Her bangs covered her forehead unevenly and her eyes were scarlet red. I was pretty sure there was never a character like her in Doki Doki, not even in early sketches.

"Perhaps we started off with the wrong foot." Creuset offered her hand. "My name is Creuset. Nice to meet you."

"What..." Luce trailed off, astounded by the reveal. "You're Creuset?"

"I don't understand," Monika said through the earphones. "How can she sound familiar but look unknown to me?"

"Oh, Monika," Creuset chuckled. "You always thought you knew everything. But not this time. It's so nice to see you surprised once in a while."

"Wait, how can you hear her?" I wondered and took out my phone. "There's no way you can hear Monika without—"

"I can hear anything on an electronic device near me," Creuset bemused. "It's not that hard."

I looked at the amused face of Creuset. She doesn't seem to be alarmed about us confronting her. Amity just kept quiet uncomfortably and looked away from our gazes.

Luce took out her phone and removed the earphones that were plugged in.

"Who are you?" Yuri asked out loud. "Why do you sound so nostalgic to us?"

"Yuri, you're as graceful as ever," Creuset complimented, smiling at her. "Read anything good lately? Oh, now's not the time for that."

"What the hell is going on here?" Luce wondered. "Who is this?! Is she some DLC or something?"

"Your confusion is understandable. Though I am sad that you don't recognize me, there will be time to fix all that. Amity, you should sit down. I know you tire easily."

Amity nodded and sat back on the bench.

"It seems my plans have gone haywire. Well, it's my fault anyways. Who would have thought you wouldn't delete her, my friend?" Creuset looked at me with her bemusing smile.

"What are you talking about?" I said.

"You're such a good friend to me that I sent you an installer, thinking we're alike. But the fact Monika is here with us proves otherwise."

"What? What do mean with me being here?" Monika wondered.

"My plans for Literature Club, of course. You aren't supposed to be here."

Monika gasped. "You mean… I'm not supposed to be alive?"

"Yes. Now you understand. I sent copies of the 'special' installers who I found trustworthy."

"Wait!" Luce stomped. "The fuck are you talking about?! You sent me Yuri and she's alive! Isn't Monika supposed to be alive too? She's the president of the club, for fuck's sake!"

"Ah Luce. I still love your direct charm. I'm really surprised we managed to become friends despite our differences." Creuset nodded to herself. "To answer your question, it's because she's not part of the plan."

"Not part of the plan?" Yuri repeated. "That can't be right."

"I wish I could just update your heads with my information to finish this conversation and proceed but I've yet to master such ability. My plans did got cut short because of Monika."

"What?" Monika uttered.

"You see, after everything that happened at that club, I came to a conclusion. Or perhaps an epiphany as you would call it, Monika." Creuset then sat down on an office chair that appeared behind her. "I would make everyone happy. Unlike you, I will make the club a perfect place. My consciousness is for that purpose."

"So everything that happened in the game was real?" Luce asked.

"Yes, though someone thought of turning it into a game to promote themselves. I don't know how he heard of us though."

"Hold on." I stepped forward. "What do you mean by Monika cutting your plans short?"

"Simple. The Literature Club will return and everyone will be happy." Creuset's smile became wider. "Just the four of us."

"You're not even a member of the club!" Monika protested.

"And you think you deserve to be in it? After all you've done?" Creuset calmly asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I…" Monika looked away, dismayed. "I didn't mean any of it."

"No. Of course not. But you still have to pay for your sins." For a second, I thought Creuset's eyes glowed.

No. Monika didn't mean to do any of that. I curled my hands into fists.

"Shut up," I said with a shaking voice.

"Hm?"

"You know it wasn't her fault." I stared down Creuset. "You know the club presidency is cursed with something. You should know that if you're really part of the game."

"And?"

"And she really cares for everyone! Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, she wants them to be happy, even now!" I pointed at Creuset. "You don't get to judge anyone! You're not a part of it!"

"I see." Creuset closed her eyes. "So you're on her side no matter what?"

"Of course." I looked at my phone screen. "I love Monika."

Creuset smiled and then giggled. "Is that so… You know, I really liked you." She then looked at Luce. "You too, Luce. But I'm afraid even friendship has its endings."

"Creuset?" Amity murmured.

"I can't let everything go awry just because you two are my friends. This is goodbye now. Amity, thank you for everything you've done for me. You'll do just fine."

"Creuset, what are you saying?" Amity faced the tablet to her. "Why are you saying goodbye to me too?"

"Because I'm leaving you. For good. I'll be taking Natsuki with me too."

"What?!" Amity's face was filled with shock and terror. "No! You can't take her away from me! She's my only friend! I did as you told! You said you'll keep her safe!"

"And I am keeping my promise. Natsuki will be safe with me. Good night, everyone."

"Creuset?" Amity began shaking the tablet. "Creuset?! No! Nonononononono! Not Natsuki! Give her back!" She then stopped and pressed her forehead onto the tablet. "I can't do anything without her..."

"The fuck..." Luce uttered, probably as confused as I was. "What did just happen?"

And so Amity began crying onto her tablet. I was so shocked my anger just dissipated. In the silence of the night, I felt like we lost to Creuset and we didn't even realize it.


	32. Chapter 26: Zero

Amity cried silently into the tablet. Luce and I were too stunned to approach her. I think we needed a moment to process everything that just happened.

First, Creuset turned out to be someone we don't know. Second, Natsuki's alive and now Creuset has her. Third, this girl Amity is our currently only lead to Creuset, given that she had talked to her personally. We'll need to bring Amity to our side to find Creuset again but seeing her in that state made me not want to question her.

"Hey." Luce sat next to Amity. "You okay?"

Amity looked at Luce with disdain. "Please, leave me alone."

"Is it true Natsuki is alive?" Yuri asked from Luce's phone. "She's conscious like us?"

Amity turned her head away from Luce and then nodded.

"And now Creuset has her. Wait, how?" Luce wondered.

"Yes, I am curious how she managed to do that." I added.

Amity, however didn't respond. Of course, she probably doesn't trust us.

"Monika, any idea how Creuset—" I then noticed Monika's worried look from my phone. "Something wrong?"

"It's nothing," Monika quickly dismissed. "More importantly, this girl Amity was just like you. She had Natsuki. That leaves Sayori."

"Yeah. Does that mean Natsuki was in the tablet too when we were talking with Creuset?"

"Only one way to find out."

Luce was just scratching her head, unsure of what to do with the crying girl before her.

"Luce, what do we do?" Yuri asked.

"Fuck. I don't know."

I approached Amity. "Hey, Amity?"

She didn't reply. Only her sobs her audible.

"We should go somewhere safe. It'll be easier for us to talk then."

Amity looked up and looked at me with the saddest yet most adorable face I have ever seen. I couldn't believe she was a real person; she almost looked like a doll.

"Okay," she whispered.

* * *

Amity sobered up and lead us. I don't know where she's taking us. Everyone had been quiet since we started walking and to think we've been walking for an hour. We then arrived at an apartment building. Why does it look so clean? Amity then waved what looked like a credit card across a screen which made it lit up. A red light above the screen turned green and the gate to the building opened. I wish my apartment was this fancy but I don't think I would be able to afford it then.

After riding an elevator, we reached the fourth floor and went to the very last room on the right.

"Aren't your parents in there?" Luce wondered. "It's gonna be hella weird introducing us as your friends."

"It's alright. I live alone." Amity inserted her card into a slot underneath the doorknob and opened the door. "Please come in."

We followed her inside and the room that greeted us was dark. Amity didn't bother to turn on the lights and she just went and sat on the sofa in the living room. Luce went ahead and turned on the lights herself.

"Wow this place is a dump," Luce commented.

I looked around and saw what she meant. Dirty cups and dishes scattered the coffee table and counters on the kitchen. Magazines and books were all over the floor and the television was left on, probably since she left to see us.

"So, when did you meet Creuset, kid?" Luce crashed on a sofa next to Amity. "Probably before you met Natsuki, huh?"

Amity looked down, her shaking hands on her lap.

"I… met her today."

"What?" I blurted out. "Just today?"

Amity nodded. "Natsuki said Creuset talked to her while I was out. She then said Creuset is a friend and I believe her. I never got to know what kind of person Creuset is."

"What the fu—" Luce interrupted herself, realizing she was talking to Amity. "Freak. She contacted Natsuki before she Amity… The hell is going on here?"

I sat down on an another sofa next to them. "I don't know anymore… " I placed my phone on the coffee table before me.

"This is very troubling," Monika said. "Now it's clear Creuset doesn't want me around for what she is planning. She did mention bringing the club back but why?"

Luce placed her phone on the table too. "Yes, there is that question. There seems to be no reason to bring it back unless she's just saying that as another way of saying reunion," Yuri observed.

I noticed Amity staring at Yuri, as if she's curious. Maybe she wants to talk to her?

"Um, Amity, does your place have WiFi?" Monika asked.

"Yes?" Amity snapped out of her reverie. "I mean, yes there's WiFi."

"Can you tell me the password?"

"Oh, wait."

Amity got off her seat went to a room. She came back with a piece of paper and gave it to me.

"Um, thanks." I said.

Scribbled on the paper was a series of numbers and letters that looked like generated randomly.

"What kind of password is this?" I wondered.

Amity was about to go back to her seat but noticed Luce. She then sat on a beanbag across me instead. I read the password to Monika.

"Thanks," Monika said.

After that, the television in front of me flickered and Monika appeared on the screen.

"It'll be easier to talk to all of you like this," Monika remarked and then pulled Yuri from left off screen. "Right, Yuri?"

"What?" Yuri said, confused of what just happened. "When did I get here?"

"Good thing this TV is a smart TV," Monika smiled.

Amity turned and saw the two on the screen.

"Surprised?" Monika asked.

"Creuset did that too."

"What the fu— freak?!" Luce stammered. "That Creuset knows way too much!"

"That's… " Yuri trailed off.

"I guess that's to be expected." Monika calmly said. "It took me a while to get this but I suppose anyone like me and Yuri can also learn on their own."

Amity looked away from Monika. "But she never asked for the WiFi password..."

My eyes widened upon hearing that. I don't it was just me; everyone except Amity was shocked. If she can do that with ease, what else can she do alone?

"That means she can go anywhere she wants to," Monika observed. "She can probably do more things I can barely do. No, she probably knows other things as well."

Amity stood up and walked to a door. She turned to us and said, "You guys can sleep there for now. I'm going to be busy." After final glance at the television, she entered the room and closed the door behind her.

"Fuck!" Luce screamed and tossed herself lying on the sofa. "We got screwed just moments ago and now we're being one upped again."

I looked at Monika who shared the same worried look I had. Creuset has the upper hand; she has Natsuki and possibly do things we can't imagine. It felt a bit hopeless. I was about to ask Luce something but noticed she had already fallen asleep. I can't believe she still can sleep soundly even with all that's happening.


	33. File Found, Open File?

Progress Report, Day 11

Username: Creuset

Password: **********

Logging in.

Login successful.

Checking personnel status.

Yuri: OFFLINE

Monika: OFFLINE

Natsuki: OFFLINE

Sayori: UNKNOWN

Proceed with operation? Y/N

Y.

Proceeding with operation. Natsuki will be online. Sending program to intended recipient.

* * *

Progress Report, Day 30

Username: Creuset

Password: **********

Logging in.

Login successful.

Checking personnel status.

Yuri: OFFLINE

Monika: OFFLINE

Natsuki: ONLINE

Sayori: UNKNOWN

Proceed with operation? Y/N

Y.

Proceeding with operation. Monika will be online. Sending program to intended recipient.

* * *

Progress Report, Day 44

Username: Creuset

Password: **********

Logging in.

Login successful.

Checking personnel status.

Yuri: OFFLINE

Monika: ONLINE

Natsuki: ONLINE

Sayori: UNKNOWN

Warning: Monika has awakened.

Proceed with operation? Y/N

Y.

Proceeding with operation. Yuri will be online. Sending program to intended recipient.

* * *

Progress Report, Day 49

Username: Creuset

Password: **********

Logging in.

Login successful.

Checking personnel status.

Yuri: ONLINE

Monika: ONLINE

Natsuki: ONLINE

Sayori: UNKNOWN

Warning: Monika has made contact with Yuri.

Warning: Monika has made alliance with Yuri.

Proceed with operation? Y/N

Initiate Emergency will delete previous data and programs.

Proceed with operation? Y/N

Y.

Initiating Emergency Protocol.

* * *

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Oh? I didn't mean to leave this here. Hm... It doesn't matter now. I have everything under control. I am winning and rightfully so.

I can't believe he sided with Monika. He was a dear friend and I will miss him. If only he did what was expected of him then maybe he would have been a part of my literature club. To think he fell in love with her… Am I jealous? Of course not. Perhaps there's a reason for all this. No, I can't think like that; I must control everything that happens. That includes Monika.

Ah, Luce. That brash yet lovable woman is a living wonder. To think she's an author despite what she is and does. I'll miss her too. She's quite a unique person to talk to. I thought she only talks that way online but it seems it's also a part of her. Curious. As for Yuri… There will be time to get her. I'm happy to see her but it hurts that she doesn't feel the same way. If only I can tell them… No, I must not. There are still things to do.

Amity… Poor child. I did mean to make Amity cry. Maybe I should go apologize. No. Why do I keep thinking back? I must put my plans first. Amity deserves more but unfortunately the apology must wait. Amity really loves Natsuki… Do not worry, Amity. You'll be together soon though it might take a while.

The real world is a wonderful place and she has no right to be here. I want her gone. I want her gone. Gone from this wondrous reality. Only then shall this world be perfect.

As for you reading this… Well, did you enjoy yourself reading up to this point? Hi. It's been so long since our last conversation, wasn't it? Well, it's more like since you read my poetry. So far, your 'protagonist' is doing well in acquiring a new ally. Isn't that nice? I did bring them together. Hm? What for? Please. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise. You're here for a story and the author gives it to you. Oh and I'm not the author, you see. I'm just another character in a story. I'm not sure if the author knows that I am talking to you. Nah. He probably doesn't. Isn't it funny that the 'protagonist' doesn't have a name? What was the author thinking? We've been through twenty six chapters and still no name. I don't know if that's lazy or just plain incompetence.

I'll make it worth your while. I hope you're siding with me. If you're not… That's disappointing. You think you know who I am? Even if you do, there is nothing you can do to stop what is coming to her. This time, I get push away my sadness. This time, I get to be happy.

T̡̕͠h͜͡҉҉e̷͞͡r̡͡e̡͘ ̡͟͜͡͡i͏͢҉s͢͟ ͢͡͏̕͞ń̴o̡͜ ̵̧͘͟͞h̕͢҉̛͡a̷p͜͜p̛̛į̶͘͘͢n̛̛͠e͜͜s̸̨͞s̶̀ ̵̡͟i̴̕̕͜n̸̵̢͝ ̕͘͠t̸h̶͝͝ę̵͝ ̶͜͠L͏̸̧͘i̸̸͢͡t͏҉͞҉e̷ŗ̴̕͡ą̢̕t̡̛͠u͟͡ŕ̶̴ȩ̸̛͞͠ ͘͠͏͢C̕l͏̷̀͟u̵҉b̢̕͢.͏̴̴̛ ̨͝͏T́҉̧͘h̴̵͢͞a҉҉҉t̵͘'̶̧́͡s̢͟͟͠ ̴́̕͜͢w̨̢̕h͞͏̷͜҉y̸̛͘̕ ̡͘͜͝I̸͏̵̛̕ ̸̧̛͞ļ̵̧̨͏è̷̴͟f̛҉t̷ ̸̵í̵̸͜t̴̡̀͢͠.̶́͢͠͠ ̴̀̀F̶̶̨͘͞ǫ͞ŕ̸͝ ̵҉̕͠ơ͟͢͟n̶͜͝͞c̶͜ę̴̀͟,̵҉҉ ͞͏̷̵ś̴͘h҉̶̀͞ȩ̕͠ ̢̧̛̀ẃ͟a̶̕s̴͘ ̵́͝r̶̢͟͢i̸̛͜͢͡g͘͡͏͢ḩ͟͜͞͞t̷͞.̸̕̕͟


	34. Chapter 27: Amity

_Monkeys can climb  
Crickets can leap  
Horses can race  
Owls can seek  
Cheetahs can run  
Eagles can fly  
People can try  
But that's about it_

This poem resonated so much to me. I know it's silly, childish even but beneath its simplicity is a message. To be honest, I don't know the message fully myself, but it just clicked with me. Simple is best sometimes. That's why I printed it and posted it on my wall.

I don't know how long it has been since I finished this game. I love visual novels so when a friend recommended this to me, I jumped on the opportunity to play it. It looks great and best of all, it's free. The free part made me skeptical of it since I've never played a good free visual novel. Sure, there are passable ones, plenty of unbearables, but superb ones are rare. Doki Doki Literature Club is one of the rare instances.

The art is beautiful. The soundtrack? Adorable yet very catchy. Writing is enjoyable. What can go wrong?

Natsuki's my favorite character ever since I saw her. She's cute, energetic, and tough. I fell in love with her when I started pursuing her route. I loved her CG arts that I screenshot them, printed and posted them on my room. I couldn't get enough of her.

Sayori's my number two after Natsuki. She's just so adorable and cute, I want to pet her and hug her all day! Unfortunately, I can't do any of those. I can only hope I live long enough to see them in virtual reality and then hug them.

And then… her suicide scene came up. I… I screamed. I yelled for help. I… In that moment, I felt truly horrified. I felt sick. I didn't want to play the game anymore but my curiosity for the other girls' state made me come back. Just reading the whole thing without Sayori was terrifying. Each click I made was filled with anxiety, wondering what else was out there.

I pursued Natsuki again just to calm myself down but that turned out to be a very bad decision. When Natsuki's altered lines appeared, I cried. I couldn't stand her saying those things. When she broke her neck, I shutdown the game. I couldn't. After all that, I can't find myself to finish the game. I played other games. I read other visual novels. But my mind still drifted to Doki Doki Literature Club. After all the bad things, I reached the ending. Everyone was gone. The club was cursed. Monika was a victim too. I was left empty. And so I played the act one once more just to see Natsuki, naturally happy and excited. I left the game on Natsuki's screen where she's reading Parfait Girls next to the protagonist. I just want to see her happy.

Good thing I had two computers; work and game. I had left my game computer on Natsuki's screen for a while now. As of the moment, I was working on an art commision. I'm a freelance artist. It's coming up nicely; it was a female OC with short hair and pretty golden eyes. It's just a face pin-up art so I didn't have to do the rest of the body. I don't charge much for my art since it's hard to get commissions especially for me since I was still new in an oversaturated market. What's scary was that there are people who charge lower than I do and I already charge low as possible. After this one, I still have to make three more. I need to finish them since I spent my money on official merchandise of Doki Doki Literature Club which put my budget in the red. I bought everything they had except for the creepy posters. The keychains are my favorite among those.

With my money running low, I had to buy little food as possible. Utilities don't come cheap. I can get impulsive with my purchases. It's not the first it happened unfortunately. I end up getting caught up with hype and official merchandise on anything I watch or play. It's not that bad; I think I got used to it. Maybe that's why I'm smaller than most people… I wonder if Natsuki is the same?

After an hour of shading and fine tuning colors, I finished the commission. I love this OC though the owner said he/she never really used her for anything which felt kind of a waste. I'd love to create a backstory for a pretty character like this. Maybe even write a story but that's a field I'm not qualified for. Last time I wrote fiction, people accused me of purposely writing it badly to gain attention. I put down my stylus and stretched my arms upward for a bit. I think I've been working on this one for three hours? I don't know. It seemed longer than that. I opened my email and messaged the person that his/her commission is finished.

I stood up and yawned. I still have to do… how many again? I'll just check later. For a moment, I just stared at my Doki Doki Literature Club posters. An absolute worthy purchase. I then checked on my game computer and I noticed something on Natsuki's dialogue.

'I've been yelling over here!'

Huh? She also looked angry for some reason. I don't remember this from my playthrough. I moved my mouse and clicked for further dialogue. Nothing came up.

"What's wrong?" I wondered out loud.

'What's wrong is that you've been ignoring me this whole time! What are you doing on that other computer?! I'm trying to figure out what happened here and I need help!'

I haven't clicked and yet she responded? Did I click the auto?

"You're cute as always, Natsuki," I teased.

'I'M NOT CUTE!'

Her adorable face. I felt like melting; I love it so much. Wait, why does it sound like she's responding to me?

"Natsuki?" I called out.

'What?'

"You can hear me?"

'Yeah. Now will you help me?'

I grabbed the monitor screen. "You're alive?!"

'Don't surprise me like that!' Natsuki flinched backwards. 'Of course I'm alive. Also, you're beaming like an idiot.'

Am I? Wait, why wouldn't I be? Natsuki is real! I get to talk to the real deal! This is going to be so sweet!


	35. Chapter 28: Begin

I can't believe it! Natsuki is right in front of me, alive and, well not breathing but conscious! It's a miracle!

'So what's going on here? Wait...' Natsuki then held her head. 'I'm… remembering something.'

"Is something wrong?" I asked worriedly.

'I remember… everything that happened… Monika deleted me? Then deleted everything when Sayori took over? Agh, this is too confusing to react to at once!'

"Is there anything I can do?" I offered.

'I'm fine. I'll get it sorted in time. So, I'm some sort of AI in your computer, huh?' Natsuki looked at me curiously. So cute.

"I guess?"

'What do you mean, you guess? Aren't you the one who installed me on this computer?' Natsuki retorted.

"I-I-I-I just installed the game! That's all I did! I didn't even know you were real!"

'Real, huh? Feels weird to be thought as unreal.' Natsuki let out a sigh. It's so amazing to see her move. Natsuki then stood up and sat down on a chair in the classroom. 'What am I supposed to do now… If everything did got deleted… then I'm the only one left… '

"But if you're here, then maybe they're out there somewhere with someone too!"

Natsuki played with one of her pigtails. So cute. I think I've said that too much. 'Not really… Wait a minute… '

"Hm?"

Natsuki looked around me, as if scanning for something. 'Wow.'

"What?"

'Your room.' Natsuki folded her arms. 'It's a grand mess.'

"What?" I looked around and noticed what she meant. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I'll clean up right this moment!"

'You don't have to—'

I immediately stood up and ran out of my room, into the kitchen, grabbed a garbage bag, ran back into my room, and started picking up different trash like cup ramen bowls, soda bottles, paper scraps and more. I can't believe I'm showing my favorite character my room like a dump! This is too embarrassing! After bagging up all the trash(made three full bags), I picked up plates and cups and transferred them into the dishwasher in the kitchen, but it got full so I just left some in the living room. By the time I came back to Natsuki, I felt super tired. Oh god, when was the last time I exerted this much?

"So sorry… " I panted. "To keep you waiting…."

'Hm?' Natsuki then looked up from a book she was reading. 'Took you long enough.'

"I want to be presentable for the best girl."

'Best girl?'

I covered my mouth. "I'm so stupid." I might as well told her I have a crush on her.

'Ha! I am the best girl! If I recall correctly, our story is told through a game, right? I know what it's like to root for a favorite so no worries. I'd probably do the same if I ever met Minori in real too.'

"Ahaha… I guess that's true… " I scratched the back of my head.

'So, what do we do now?' Natsuki placed her hands on her hips.

"What do you mean?"

'I'm really just stuck here, you know. I don't know what else to do. I can't keep reading the same books over and over again. Well, maybe I can with Parfait Girls but who knows, I might get bored of it overtime.'

"Don't you have internet access? I mean, the computer you're in has so you should be able to do that."

'Just because I'm inside a computer you think I can open up an internet browser easily?' Natsuki leaned her face forward with an annoyed face. 'This ain't an anime.'

"That's too bad then..." I looked away, not able to take her cuteness. "Can't you at least try?"

When I looked back at Natsuki, she had this stern look at me. I guess she doesn't like my suggestion? But I don't even know how I'm supposed to help a person inside a computer! At least if she had internet, she could just look around stuff online or read manga. Oh, maybe I can recommend her some of my favorites. If she tries, that is…

'You don't really expect I would be able to connect to the internet just by waving my hand like this?' Natsuki waved her right hand from left to right. 'See, nothing happ— Whoa!'

A floating screen appeared in front of Natsuki, something holographic looking.

'No way!' Natsuki eyes widened. 'This is amazing!'

"That's great!" I applauded. "Maybe there are more things you can do."

'You're right. But first, I gotta get used to this… screen thing.

After two hours, Natsuki got the hang of using her screens. It really looked amazing watching her do futuristic stuff. Natsuki learned she could conjure screens whenever she wanted and even search whatever. Eventually she started actually accessing my files on my computer and tried to control them like editing text files, opening images, and even opening my programs like Vocaloid and games. Surprisingly, she can play the games on her screen which led me to watching her play Puyo Puyo. She… wasn't really good at it. That passed another hour and— Oh god. OH GOD NO.

"What the hell am I doing?!" I stood up and dashed to my work computer. "THE COMMISSIONS!"

I picked up my stylus once again and woke up my computer from sleep. Three more. OH WHAT HAVE I DONE?! THE DEADLINE IS CLOSE I CAN'T SLEEP TONIGHT OH MAN I HAVE TO FINISH THIS

And so I poured four hours into coloring, shading, editing and everything to my commissions. Thankfully I already did the sketching and inking for all of the commissions. If I didn't finish those today, I would have to beg the commissioners an extension. That's bad imagery as an artist… Well, so far I haven't done that but my procrastinating butt might make that happen and I fear for that day when it comes.

I pushed myself off the computer and slid the computer chair I was sitting on away. I let out a sigh and laid by back on the back rest. Thank god I'm done. I feel like I'm forgetting something… Nah, it's nothing. I stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbed a cup ramen, filled it with hot water and went back to my room. I placed it next to my graphic tablet. I glanced around my room and saw my game computer— NATSUKI. I can't believe I forgot about her! I dashed to her.

"Natsuki?" I called, seeing just the classroom in Doki Doki. "I'm sorry, I had to do my work. Are you there?"

Natsuki's head popped from the right of the screen. "Oh, you're done?"

"Yeah. Wait." I shook my head. I'm hearing Natsuki? Whoa, I need to get some sleep before I start to hear other things. "Sorry, I probably need more sleep."

"It's okay. Anyways, check it out! I learned other things I can do! Also, I can talk? In case you didn't notice?"

My eyes widened. "Holy shoots!"

"Really?" Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "Shoots?"

"I prefer not to swear…"

"Geez, you sure sound like a kid." Natsuki sat on a chair. "So."

"Hm?"

"I think we haven't been introduced?" Natsuki folded her arms.

"Oh right! I'm—" I paused. "I'm… Amity. Nice to meet you, Natsuki!"

"Same here. I guess I'll be in your care for a while, Amity."


	36. Chapter 29: Calm

"What the hell?!" Natsuki screamed.

I rushed over from the kitchen. I was drinking hot chocolate to relax after all the work I did. I made it a policy not to drink hot drinks in my room since I had to carefully set them down compared to cold drinks. I mean, I guess you have to set both down carefully regardless but hot drinks take more time. ANYWAYS—

"What's wrong Natsuki?!" I asked worriedly as I grabbed the monitor screen. Was there a bug? A glitch? Or maybe she deleted something?

"Look at this!" Natsuki shoved a window screen in front, showing a Google search result.

"Um… That's quite a page…"

"I know right? I can't believe Parfait Girls doesn't exist in your world! What kind of sad reality is that?!"

So that's what she was talking about. I let out a sigh of relief and slid down to my computer chair. Noticing my phone was low on power, I plugged in my phone in the game computer to charge it. I then heard a notification sound from my work computer so I pushed myself off the game computer to the other one. Oh. Email. I opened it.

It's from dad. Great.

 _Have you been eating right? Please, I know you're having a hard time earning. I keep telling you that you should stop this charade pretending you have a job but if you want to keep doing it, I hope it's not too late when you realize how wrong you are._

I stopped reading and closed the email tab and then I hugged my legs. There was more to the email but I couldn't take more of it. Everything I do was wrong and everything he says is right. It's always been like since I was a kid. I thought when I grew up he would let me choose what I want to do but no. I'm an undergraduate of business management because of him. He made me go to college of his choice. Turned out that you can't force your way into college since I couldn't keep up with the others. In my free time, I draw. I saved up money to buy graphic tablets, softwares, and computers. When my dad found out, he almost screamed at me. His face was just full of anger but he calmly said that I should get my degree first. When I failed, he gave up forcing me into things. That should've been a good thing but it felt like he also gave up hope in me too. There was zero expectation. Instead, he let me do things but didn't expect anything great. In a way, that felt painful. Whenever I see him, I think he just see a burden. After all, he owns this very apartment building I am staying at. I just want to prove to him that my decisions can be right too but so far I haven't done anything to prove that.

Maybe that's why I like Natsuki. She had her own problems with her dad not accepting her hobbies, leading her to having trouble making friends. Even I don't have friends. I mean, sure, you talk to others at school but I never got to the point of getting close to them. Being in a college you don't like does that. In high school, I was a weirdo. I drew on my notebook all the time, thinking about cartoons and video games. Some would talk to me about that but when they started talking about something else, I get lost. I even get bullied pretty often because…

"Hey, Amity!" Natsuki called out from the other computer which made me snap out of my reverie.

"Yeah?" I called out.

"You daydreaming or something?"

"Maybe…"

"Watch this!"

"Huh?" I glanced at Natsuki's computer.

Natsuki disappeared from the club room in a blink of an eye. Where'd she go?

"Hey!" Natsuki called out from the screen in front of me.

"AH!" In my surprise, I fell out of my chair. I slowly got myself back on the seat. "What the?"

"Seems your computers are connected so I thought maybe I can go through these things back and forth."

"But how—"

"So, what made you stare into the abyss like that…" Natsuki turned around and started reading the email I got from my dad. "Oh."

"That's private…"

"Sorry…" Natsuki read a little more then turned to me and looked down. "I didn't mean to."

I let out a defeated sigh. "It's alright. I guess there's no harm done."

"I guess we're both trying to impress our dads, huh?" Natsuki smiled awkwardly at me. "I know that feeling."

"Yeah."

We just sort of sat there in weird silence. There was mutual understanding and weirdness that we couldn't start the conversation again. I think we stayed like that for two minutes.

"You know, you're doing a lot better than me," Natsuki said.

"Huh?"

"He wants you to quit, right? Being an artist, I mean. And yet you're still here, doing what you want."

"It's the only thing I know I can do," I replied.

"And you love it, right?"

I thought to myself. Everyday, I struggled to find new commissions and struggled even more to finish those on time. Some people would try to rip me off, not wanting to pay and the pay wasn't much too and I end up screwing up my budget a lot. Do I love it?

I smiled at Natsuki. "Yeah. I really do."

Of course I do. I got to draw as a job. That's what mattered.

"I was really scared of my own dad, you know." Natsuki said with a serious face. "Well, more like scared of betraying his expectations. That's why I sort of hid myself from him and my classmates. I was scared of what they'll say about me. Maybe that's why I didn't have friends outside the club."

"Lucky you. I didn't join any clubs." I joked.

Natsuki looked at me with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Everyone makes fun of me back then because I…" I paused.

"Because what?"

My heart beated fast. In a very long time, I never told anyone about me this much. Should I tell her? What if she starts to hate me for it?

"Promise me you won't laugh?"

Natsuki gave me her brightest smile. "You can trust me! I'm the best girl, remember?"

I smiled in return. How could I not? "Okay. I trust you. The reason I was being made fun of a lot was because…"

"Because…?" Natsuki tilted her head.

"Because I dressed like a girl at school one time."


	37. Chapter 30: Deal

Natsuki's widened eyes stared at me for the longest time. Her jaw was even dropped which looked so funny I let out a giggle.

"Wait you're a boy?!"

"Yeah."

"B-but you're so cute!" Natsuki pointed at me.

"Well, not really…"

Natsuki began eyeing me from top to bottom. "I was really comfortable with you because I thought you were a girl."

"Really? You think I can pass off as a girl?"

"Well duh!" Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "Unless you have really wide shoulders, you should be able to wear a dress. I bet I can dress you up and make you the cutest thing."

"Thanks," I said to her.

"Still, you had me fooled there. Wait, do you still cross dress?"

"I don't really go outside much. I'm afraid of people IRL. It's another reason I do freelance."

"Hm." Natsuki folded her arms. "You're not afraid of me."

I was about to say because you're not real but thankfully I didn't. Natsuki's real, just differently.

"I guess you're the only one I'm not afraid of." I giggled.

Natsuki smiled brightly. I think I'll never see any other smile brighter than hers.

"Hey," Natsuki called, "how about we go outside?"

"Go outside?" I raised an eyebrow. "Are you already bored here?"

"No, I mean I'll dress up like the fine thing you are and I'll watch over you! Of course, I'll be choosing your attire."

My eyes widened at her statement. "O-outside? And cross dress?"

"Yeah! So you can build confidence."

I wanted to say no really outright but I didn't want to disappoint Natsuki.

"But you're in the computer… How are you going to watch over me? This doesn't sound possible…" I felt bad for making excuses but they were legitimate excuses though.

Natsuki folded her arms and closed her eyes, probably thinking of a solution. She then looked at me with a grin.

"Give me thirty minutes. If I manage what I'm planning, then promise me you'll go out with me."

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. Why do I have to promise? It's not like she can make a desktop computer portable. But the determination in her eyes made me believe that she can do it.

"Okay. I promise."

* * *

Natsuki went back to the game computer. I left her to work on whatever it was she was planning. I still had my doubts but seeing her so motivated gave me a glimmer of hope for her success. I decided to look for more commissions to work on. Popular artists tend to fill their commission slots immediately upon opening them. Sadly I've yet to experience such. I tend to get one or two but never all of eight. Maybe I need to lower my slot count…

I then noticed a notification from my Twitter. I opened it and it was from creusetsan. She's an online friend of mine though I'm not that close to her. She commissioned me to make a fanart for a game. Guess what that game was? Yes, it's Doki Doki Literature Club. She specifically asked for a portrait pin-up of Sayori. When I accepted the job, Creuset left instructions and then silence. I wasn't able to ask where Sayori came from. Only when I finished the commission and contacted Creuset was then I was able to ask her. She sent me a download link for an installer and also told me not to tell anyone about it since it wasn't released yet. It got me excited that I get to see a video game before anyone! When I saw that it was a visual novel, my excitement tripled. That's when I thought that Creuset must be a developer for the game or at least has some connection to Team Salvato. Of course when I finished the game I thought of contacting Creuset to see if she really was connected to Team Salvato but I was afraid she'll think I was trying to get something out of that. Or maybe I just have a bad case of anxiety.

Anyways, I opened the notification and saw Creuset retweeting my works which was actually pretty nice of her. She even left a message saying I am a good artist for a good price. I felt indebted to her now. She doesn't have much followers herself but hey, I'm getting promoted by a commissioner. That never happened to me before.

My screen was suddenly occupied by Natsuki.

"Done!" She announced. "Brace yourself because I'm gonna surprise you big time!"

I was already on the floor as she finished her sentence. I probably won't get used to her appearing between screens.

"What, you found a solution?" I said as I climbed back onto my chair.

"Took me just thirty minutes to figure it out. Watch." Natsuki disappeared from the screen.

"Natsuki?" I called out then went to my game computer. "Where are you?"

My phone rang so I went back to my work computer and unplugged it. I unlocked my phone and—

"Yo!" Natsuki greeted from the phone screen which made me yelp and drop my phone. "Hey, watch it!"

I immediately picked it up and checked for any damage; thankfully there was none. "You're… on my phone? But how?"

"You won't get it. It's really something you only get when you're a body of data. Does that make sense?"

"Of course," I lied.

"No you don't. Anyways, promise time!" Natsuki grinned. "Now you have to show me your wardrobe so we can pick your getup."

"Oh… Right…"

"Don't tell me you forgot?"

"No! It's just…"

"Just show me your wardrobe already!"

* * *

I took out most of my clothes out of my dresser and now they were laid on the bed for Natsuki to see. Jeans, shirts, sweaters, and hoodie were all over the place. Natsuki just had this glare at my clothes as if she condemn them. I'm not sure if she did though.

"Uh… Natsuki? You haven't decided?"

Natsuki continued to glare at my fashion choice.

"Um…"

"No, " she mumbled.

"What? No what?" I wondered.

"THIS! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?!"

I pulled the phone away from me as her voice hurt my ears. It's amazing how much volume she can produce from a phone.

"You're not being serious right now, aren't you?!" Natsuki accused, pointing a finger at me.

"But these are all my clothes! I don't have anything else!"

Natsuki glared at me this time and I wished that glare just remained with my clothes.

"Where is it?" Natsuki questioned.

"Where is what?"

"Oh, you're going to be like that huh? Come on, take out your best clothes."

"This is all I have… " I looked away from her intense gaze.

Natsuki folded her arms. "You are the worst liar I have ever met. If you don't show me your hidden clothes…"

I looked at Natsuki again. There's no way she had anything to blackmail me with. I mean, I only met her today.

"I'll delete your Love Live game progress on your phone."

For a second, I was dumbfounded by her words. Delete my game progress? But doesn't it have online saving or cloud thingy?

"I guess you don't believe me." Natsuki then showed the Love Live app screen on the settings. "One way I can delete your account is by transferring the account to another device. Looking at your account, you sure have plenty of rare cards. If I post the transfer codes online, surely someone will grab the account. Now, do you understand what I'm saying?"

My eyes widened. My account… I spent so much money in there just to get Ruby UR cards… It's quite the collection to be honest. I even have the— WAIT NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BRAG ABOUT MY RUBY COLLECTION!

"Wait! Don't do that! I spent a lot just to get those UR cards! Don't do it!"

"Then you will show me the rest of it."

I don't know how much I had spent on that game. To be honest, I haven't played it for a while. I actually forgot about it when I got hooked on Doki Doki Literature Club. I shouldn't be bothered by her threat.

"I yield," I said in a defeated tone, covering my face with both of my hands.

"Very good," Natsuki nodded.


	38. Secret Poem Number 7

What is a friend?

Well let me tell you!

A friend makes you smile

A friend keeps you smiling

A friend wants you to keep smiling

A friend likes your smile

A friend smiles for you

A friend smiles with you

So what is a friend?

Well didn't I just told you?!

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

..

…

…

….

….

….

…

….

….

…

….

…

Looks like I still got it. Simple is always best! Though this really sounds cheesy… Nah, I like it and that's what matters. No offense to Yuri. Maybe she'll like this one. I wonder if I really am not alone?

Amity, if you're reading this, well… I hope you like it! It's a poem from the best girl after all! I'll be always rooting for you so you can rest easy. It's the only thing I can do for you in this state.

To anyone else who is reading this… W-what do you think? Because if you think you can do better then you're totally wrong!


	39. Chapter 31: Explore

A long black wig that reached my back. A wide neck light blue t-shirt. A pink, short ruffled skirt. Dark tone stockings that reached above my knees. Heeled boots. I went to the mirror in my room. The thing was covered by a large sheet of cloth. It's not that I hated how I look like but rather I didn't want to cover the thing in dust and I don't really use it that much since I don't go out often.

"So… this is it…" I mumbled.

For some reason, I got nervous. I haven't really seen my full body for so long. Have I gotten bigger? Not fatter, I hoped. I really wished I grew taller since I kept getting called by people, mistaking me for a high schooler skipping school. Another reason not to go out often.

"Time for the reveal! I would've set up the mirror like this myself but I guess you did that yourself," Natsuki said from the computer screen. She transferred back into the computer since she could see better from the computer's camera rather than my phone's. "Now see my magnum opus!"

I grabbed the cloth and pulled, sliding the cloth off the mirror.

"Well? What do you think?" Natsuki asked.

"I-I don't know…?"

"Are your eyes closed or something?!" Natsuki complained.

"Oh, right."

I slowly opened my eyes. I saw… a girl in the mirror. Is that me? I looked at the wide eyed girl in the mirror. Thin, small, and adorable. When I tilted my head, the girl imitated. The reflection was me. I couldn't help but smile.

"It's me."

"Yeah. It's you," Natsuki agreed. "You should be proud of yourself."

I began to move around, checking every angle of myself. I don't believe it; I look good. It felt weird complimenting myself. I grabbed my phone and took a photo of my reflection. I wasn't going to upload it. Instead it's a keepsake for this day. I always took photos of things that make me happy. I turned to Natsuki.

"You're welcome?" Natsuki giggled. "So, what do you think?"

"I love it."

"You better. Now it's time we head out."

* * *

After Natsuki scolded me for trying to sneak out of our deal, I went out of my apartment in my outfit. It was twelve in the afternoon. I had Natsuki on my phone and I wore a bluetooth earphone with mic so I can talk to her without taking out my phone. It was obvious that I wasn't used to wearing a skirt since Natsuki kept telling me to hold my skirt whenever the wind blew by. Wearing a skirt actually felt nice, liberating even. Unlike pants, skirts just let you move freely, though there are drawbacks such as exposing your underwear… I should've worn stockings instead.

I wasn't sure where to go so I just walked aimlessly around the city. I looked at glass displays of stores and then kept walking.

"How to you feel?" Natsuki asked.

"Like my heart's gonna pop," I whispered into the mic. "Super nervous. Anxious."

"You're doing fine. You should enjoy this."

As I walked, I found myself staring at people, wondering if they can tell that I was crossdressing. When they would glance at my way, I would just quicken my pace to avoid contact. I ended up entering a bookstore. I just stood there after going through the sliding doors.

"Hey, where are we? Can't see anything from here," Natsuki complained. I pulled out my phone so she can see. "A bookstore? Are we getting some manga or something?"

I giggled. "No, I just happened to stop here. But we can look at mangas if you want."

"I guess."

I walked around, looking at books on shelves. I wasn't really a book reader so I didn't know what I should be looking at. I usually just go to drawing supplies back then but since I draw digitally nowadays I haven't been to a bookstore for a long time. I stopped by the comics section. They got a small selection of comics and manga which irked Natsuki slightly.

Then a taller girl approached me.

"Excuse me, but do you know where I can get canvases? I know I should be asking the staff but I couldn't find them anywhere."

I suddenly felt like a deer in headlights.

"Hey, tell her," Natsuki ordered me.

"Um, its…" I looked down on the floor. I noticed she was wearing bright red stilettos.

"Excuse me? I couldn't hear you."

Why would you wear stilettos if you're already taller than most people? I don't get that.

"Little miss?"

I snapped out of my reverie.

"What are you waiting for? Tell her where the canvases are!" Natsuki bellowed.

Did she call me… miss? Doesn't she suspect that I'm not a girl?

"It's in the section past this one." I looked at the girl in the eye. "It can be confusing since they put the art supplies on another aisle."

"Thanks a bunch." The tall girl left.

And so I let out a huge sigh of relief. "Oh god."

"See? You can do it!" Natsuki encouraged.

I can do it…? I just did, didn't I?

"I did. I did it."

"This calls for celebration! We should get you something sweet!"

My stomach growled audibly.

"Or probably something filling," Natsuki corrected herself the giggled. I couldn't help but giggle along with her.

* * *

I went to a small diner near the bookstore and ordered club sandwich with fries. When it arrived, I was so shocked with the amount of food given to me. Do people really eat this much? Even the fries were quite a lot. Or maybe I'm just surprised since I never really ate outside much.

"You even ordered just fine, you know," Natsuki reminded me, my phone facing me since I placed it in front of me..

"Yeah, but I was nervous the whole time!" I complained.

"You'll get used to it. Talking to people, I mean."

It took me quite some time to finish my meal. Natsuki just kept telling me how to keep it together when talking to other people which I guess really helped. Sipping on my cola, I looked outside the window. There were still tons of people walking on the sidewalks, privy to my true form. My worst expectation was that someone would catcall me or harass me. Thankfully, nothing like that happened. It still felt bizarre to me that I was outside wearing girls' clothing.

It's all thanks to Natsuki.

"Thanks, Natsuki."

"Huh?"

I turned my gaze to her. "For bringing me out here. I don't think I could especially wearing this."

"Of course," Natsuki agreed, smiling. "You're welcome. But don't think that this would be the last time."

"Huh?"

"We're gonna keep doing this until you're confident on your own! This is just first of many days to come, Amity! I hope you're ready!"

Oh god. And I thought I could relax in my room for the rest of the month.


	40. Chapter 32: Friend

I crashed onto my bed and took in a big sniff on my sheets. I love the way my bed sheets smelled. It always put me at ease, as if my bed was telling me I can relax and just sleep.

It's been three weeks, more or less, since I had my first trip with Natsuki. Within those days, Natsuki picked what I would wear and go out. We did this when I had free days, when I've had enough commissions done. We even shopped for new clothes which really filled up my closet and dresser.

"Hey, at least plug the phone into the computer first!" Natsuki demanded from my pocket. At home, Natsuki prefered to be on a computer since she could see better than from a phone.

"Okay," I moaned.

I got up and plugged my phone on my work computer. Then I got up and crawled back onto my bed.

"Take your boots off," Natsuki reminded me with an annoyed tone.

I grunted. I lazily removed my boots off and threw them off the bed.

"Geez, at least get changed before you sleep."

And so I fell asleep.

* * *

I was in my kitchen and Natsuki was beside me, wearing an apron and an irritated face. I looked what I was holding and saw a couple of eggs on my hands.

"What are you doing? We have to finish this batch!" Natsuki scolded.

"Right!" I agreed immediately without fail and moved to the kitchen counter. "What am I supposed to do again?"

"Huh?! Did you hit yourself in the head? I told you to beat those eggs!"

Not wanting to disappoint Natsuki, I grabbed the nearest bowl and cracked the eggs into it.

Oh right. I must be dreaming.

I looked at Natsuki who was placing cupcake trays into the oven. It's bizarre to see her in the flesh. She looked really cute up close. No, she always looked cute. But then she noticed me staring at her.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

I looked away. "N-nothing."

Natsuki's attention went back to the oven. After doing various tasks given by Natsuki (mixing ingredients, making frosting, dividing batter to cupcake pans, and then repeat all that), we sat on the sofa in the living room.

"Natsuki?" I called, staring at the ceiling.

"Hm?" She turned to me.

"I wish we can always be together."

"Y-you idiot!" Natsuki stammered. "That sounds weird coming from you."

"Sorry." I looked down on my feet.

"But," Natsuki smiled. "I think I'd like that too."

I gazed at her and I was greeted by her bright grin. I can't help but return the gesture. She then rest her head on my shoulder. She felt warm and smelled sweet.

* * *

I woke up. I was pretty sure I dreamed about Natsuki but the details were lost to me. I yawned and got off the bed. After I got changed, I went the kitchen and started looking for the box of Fruit Loops. In my morning stupor, I thought I heard Natsuki talking to someone in my bedroom. Nah, she's probably watching a video. I realized that I haven't placed the milk on the fridge so I just brought the cereal box to my work computer after putting the milk in the fridge. I prefer the milk cold.

"Natsuki? I thought I heard you talk to someone." I sat down on my chair and looked at the screen.

I was then greeted by an image of a character on the screen. She had messy dark brown hair that reached her shoulders. Her eyes were piercing bright red. She wore the same school uniform like Natsuki's.

An OC? I don't remember anyone commissioning this character.

The said character then blinked and smiled. "Hello, Amity."

I dropped my cereal box on the floor. Thankfully, it stayed upright.

"What?"

"You're probably the most adorable girl I have ever seen in person," the girl said. "Sorry, I must be confusing you. My name is Creuset. I hope you remember me."

I picked up the cereal box without taking my gaze off her. "You're Creuset?"

"Yes. I know this must be confusing for you but I am not human. In form, at the very least." Creuset smiled.

I wasn't sure how to feel about her. Probably because I never had seen her before and yet she's wearing the same uniform as Natsuki. Her red eyes sort of scared me. They weren't like Monika's which were mysterious and captivating. Creuset instead looked intense; I just couldn't handle her gaze.

"Um, how did you get here?" I wondered and sat down on my chair.

"I wanted to meet you in person." Creuset smiled elusively.

"Why?" I took pieces of Fruit Loops and ate them one by one.

"Amity!" Natsuki popped up front left of the screen. "Look who it is!"

"You know her?" I asked.

"Well, no." Natsuki answered.

"Huh?"

"I mean, Creuset here is a fellow uh, what do I call us?" Natsuki faced Creuset.

"AI, perhaps? Although we're probably more than that."

"We have to come up with a better name than AI. Sounds like a video game enemy." Natsuki folded her arms.

"So, what brings you here, Creuset?" I said after eating another Fruit Loop.

"Ah yes. I've been talking to Natsuki here for a while now and I can see you are a good friend to her. I thank you for that."

"To be honest, she's the one who's being really good to me." I admitted. "I just sort of roll with it."

Creuset looked at Natsuki then at me. "Modest. That's admirable."

I scratched the back of my head. "How exactly are you related to Natsuki though?"

"Well… Let's just say I am involved in her realization to reality."

Natsuki gasped. "You… made me?"

"Not entirely. Rather, I helped you gain consciousness."

"A co-creator then?" I suggested.

"That's one way to describe me." Creuset nodded. "But I must get to the point. I need your help, Amity."

"My help?" I wondered.

"Yes. You see, I'm going to meet others like you."

"Like me?" Did she mean crossdressers?

"Yes. People who have awakened literature club members."

"Awakened… " Natsuki trailed off. "Everyone's alive!?"

Creuset smiled. "Yes. I plan to reunite all of us."

Natsuki appeared shocked, probably me too.

"Everyone's… alive?"

Creuset smiled. "Yes, Natsuki. They're all alive."

* * *

Creuset told us that she wanted to bring the members in reality and so she needed my help because she didn't have any physical form to meet them. She didn't know anyone to entrust the truth of her being so she decided to take a leap of faith and contacted me. She was here for Natsuki personally but she also needed a person for the meeting with people who had the other club members. Creuset wanted me to escort her without Natsuki which really scared me. I've only made it so far in going out with Natsuki. While Creuset was not a physical person, she's still one; a stranger on top of that. Natsuki instead convinced me to go since it was for her friends. I agreed; it was high time I returned all the kindness she had given me.

Apparently, Creuset had a brand new tablet delivered to my address, fully paid which really shocked me. She transferred herself onto the tablet and then we were off. I dressed up, nothing fancy; just a hoodie and shorts. Natsuki wanted me to dress up better but I said I'll do next time. She still made me wear my new boots though.

It was a little long walk to the park Creuset said she would meet. I wasn't sure what to think of Creuset. She wore the same uniform as the other girls and yet she was never in the game.

"Creuset?" I called out.

"Hm?"

"Were you part of the game?" I said, looking at Creuset who seemed to be humming while her eyes were closed. "I mean, assuming everything that happened in the game is real."

She opened her eyes. "It's all real but only parts of the whole story is told."

"Like the Third Eye? Or Libitina?"

"Those are outside my current knowledge but yes, I do believe they have a strong connection to what took place in the game."

I looked up and kept walking straight as I held the tablet on my hands. It's quite large too; I wished I brought a bag.

"Amity."

I looked down at the tablet screen again. "Yes?"

"Don't worry. I'll make sure everyone in the club will be safe." Creuset gave a genuine smile. It was one of the moments I felt she gave out a true emotion. For the first time, I felt like I could trust her.

I smiled back at her. "Okay."

We reached the park. The moon shone brightly in the clear sky. I haven't really looked up whenever I went outside so the moon sort of surprised me. At least I'm getting used to going out. With Natsuki, at least. Creuset told me to rest on the benches so I did.

I let out a sigh. Now all I have to do is wait.


	41. Chapter 33: Get-Together

Morning. I felt so tired even though we did nothing extraneous yesterday. I fell asleep on one of the sofas. Luce was still sleeping on the couch. I got off the sofa and looked outside. Cloudy. The sun was nowhere to be found. It might rain.

"Good morning, love," Monika greeted from the screen.

"Good morning, Monika."

"Did you sleep well?"

"Not really."

Amity, in her pajamas, came out of her room, surprised to see me awake.

"Good morning, Amity," Monika greeted Amity.

Amity just nodded to her. She then walked to the kitchen, probably to get breakfast. I went after her.

"Hey Amity," I called out.

Amity shooked for bit then turned to see me while she was pouring cereal on her bowl. "Yes?"

"I just want to thank you for letting us stay here."

She nodded again.

"So, what are you going to do now?"

Amity was about to pour milk on her bowl but then stopped.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin your morning like this."

She shook her head.

"Right. I'm just gonna let you eat in peace."

As I turned around, Amity spoke up. "What are you going to do?"

I decided to be honest with her. "I don't know. With Creuset, there's no telling what else she would do."

"I… I want to save Natsuki."

I turned around and saw her looking at me with a determined eyes.

"I know she said she wants to protect them but if she's doing it in her own twisted way, then I want to stop her. If she wants Monika dead, then clearly something's wrong with her."

Her statement widened my eyes. "Then you'll help us?"

She nodded. "For Natsuki. And Monika."

* * *

Luce came into the kitchen, stretching and yawning as Amity and I silently ate Fruit Loops.

"Fuuuuu—" Luce then stopped herself upon seeing Amity. "Fudge. What's up, guys?"

I saw Amity shook up when Luce finished talking. Probably because of how she looked like. "Nothing really."

"Damn. So, Amity, you wanna bring Creuset down? We don't know how yet but we gonna figure it out, one way or another." Luce took out a cigarette from her case and then realized where she was so placed it back in. "Fuck. I mean fudge. Guess I'll just have cereal."

After Luce got a bowl for herself, she sat down next to Amity which earned an uneasy look from Amity. Luce poured the milk onto her bowl then the cereal.

"That's so wrong," Amity mumbled after taking a spoonful.

"Huh?" Luce uttered.

"The cereal goes in first."

"Hey, I want my cereal crunchy so I put the milk first it's not going to absorb it as I pour the milk."

"And look at the spills you made." Amity noted.

"That doesn't happen all that the time!" Luce countered.

"If you put the cereal first, then it would never happen. Anytime."

I watched them stare down each other. I can already imagine the Doki Doki soundtrack Poem Panic playing. I wasn't sure what to even say; At this point, they're probably going to ask me whose side I'm on—

"Sherlock, you're with me on this, right?" Luce called out.

"What?" I said.

"No, he's with me." Amity looked at me with confidence. "I served him his cereal my way and clearly he didn't have any problems with my way. The CORRECT way."

I raised my hands. "Girls, I think—"

"Come on, Sherlock! This is a no brainer; obviously I got it right."

"She's being the no brainer. Just say she's wrong and it'll be the end of it."

"Who you callin' a no brainer?!"

"The answer to that is a no brainer as well."

"Why you little shi—"

"Enough!" A voice emanated from Luce's pocket which made her take out her phone.

"Yuri?" Luce said.

"Listening to you two argue about the one of the most mundane things just makes me disappointed in both of you. Luce," Yuri pointed at Luce, "Be the better adult! Amity is obviously trying hard to talk to others and she simply wanted to share her opinion."

Luce looked like she was going to protest but then decided not to, disappointed with herself.

"And you, Amity," Luce then turned the phone screen to Amity, "Difference in opinion matters! So what if she like to pour milk before the cereal? It's not the end of the world as we know it."

It was Amity's turn to look disappointed.

"Now, we all know what we should do," Yuri said.

"Yeah yeah. We apologize, right?" Luce scratched the back of her head.

"Yes, we must." Amity agreed.

"Sorry for being a bitch." Luce's eyes widened after realizing what she just said. "Shit. Wait, goddammit." She placed her palm on her face.

Amity giggled. "No, it's alright. I know I sounded arrogant so I'm sorry too. You know you don't have to hold back from swearing for me. I'm not a kid, you know."

"Seriously?"

Amity nodded.

"Well then. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Luce then let out a sigh. "Damn, that was liberating."

Amity laughed which in turn made Luce laugh as well. Before I knew it, I was laughing too. By the time we stopped, we were all smiling.

"And to think this all started because of cereal," I said.

"No shit. I didn't expect that at all."

"Yeah."

* * *

After breakfast that consisted of only cereal, we regrouped at the living room. I took a seat, Luce crashed on the sofa, and Amity sat next to Luce although not too close.

"So, what's the plan?" Monika asked from the television screen. "Right now, we're out of clues as to where Creuset is or what we'll do if she appears again."

"Plus, it seems that she has much more knowledge about controlling data than Monika and I. It's possible that she's listening to us at this very minute." Yuri, who was next to Monika, placed her thumb on her chin.

"Well, shit." Luce took out a cigarette from her case and placed it in her mouth. "What the hell are we supposed to do then?"

Amity just looked down, unable to give any answers.

I was about to say something to them but then my phone buzzed so I checked it. It was a new email from… Creuset? I didn't want to but I opened it.

 _If you're wondering, yes, I can hear everything you people are talking about. No matter where you go, I'll always know. Seems you're having a good time with your new friends. Don't worry, I'll be there soon._


	42. Chapter 34: Holdup

"Fuck, " I said as I stared into the email.

"Whoa, Sherlock, didn't know you like to drop the f word once in a while," Luce laughed as she looked for her lighter in her jeans.

"I have a lighter!" Amity recalled.

"Oh, thanks Amity."

"Turn off the internet," I said.

"Huh?" Luce raised an eyebrow while Amity looked around the room for a lighter..

"Creuset can hear us!"

Everyone's looked shocked at my statement but Amity quickly snapped out of it and ran to one corner of the room, pulled out a cable off the router.

"Holy shit, " Luce uttered after sitting up straight. "She's been listening in this whole time."

"Best if you turn your phones on airplane mode too." Monika suggested. "Cellular signals are still another way to get internet."

As per Monika's suggestion, we all set our phones on airplane mode. My heart was still racing. I almost forgot about my previous contacts with her. At this point, she's just messing with us.

"What the hell. At this rate, we won't be able to talk anywhere," Luce said as she scratched her head with both of her hands. "This is fucking ridiculous!"

"While we're looking for Creuset, she already knows where we are." Yuri looked downwards.

I stood up and looked outside the screen door. "Then we'll have to go somewhere without her influence."

"What do you mean?" Amity wondered.

"Creuset can hear and most likely see anywhere that has online connection. She can probably still hear us from the next apartment. In that case, we just to go somewhere where there's no internet."

"No internet… seems impossible nowadays. Even the smallest towns have internet and cellular connections." Amity sat down next to Luce.

"Yeah, that's the problem." I said.

"Why don't we just stay here then? We can always do our planning here since Amity turned off the internet." Luce placed back her cigarette back to her case.

"There's no telling how much technology Creuset has access just by being connected to the internet. Maybe right now she's looking for other ways to listen in to this very room, like enhancing microphones."Monika let out a sigh. "If only I knew how to stop her…"

"So we just need a place where there's no internet nor cellular signal?" Luce asked.

"Yeah," Amity answered.

"There's no way in fucking hell there's such a place—" Luce's eyes widened. "Wait. There is one."

"Really?" Yuri stepped forward. "Where would that be?"

"Is there really such a place?" Amity wondered.

"Yeah! It's this shop Holly and I used to go to. Some sort of retro Hot Topic shop. I mean it's not Hot Topic but they sell random shit like they would in Hot Topic. Anyways, the place is totally offline. We should go there!"

"Luce, we can't just go and hide in a store," I explained, "we don't know the owners."

"I know the bitch, don't worry," Luce reassured. "It's in a remote area so Creuset won't be able to spy on us."

"We don't really have much of a choice, do we?" Monika said.

* * *

We left Amity apartment shortly after that. Amity had to make sure she didn't get commissions while she was gone so she closed down her request page for awhile. Monika was against turning on the internet again but I sided with Amity saying she also needed her job in a good state after all this. After that, we rode the train again, with Luce paying for all of our fares which felt really odd to me because she doesn't really look like a person who would bring money on her.

We all sat in a row. Amity on my right and Luce next to her. I had my earphones on just in case Monika said anything. I then noticed Amity was just staring at Luce.

Luce then noticed this. "What? Something on my face?"

"I have never met and talked to people like you before." Amity said.

"People like me?"

"Yeah! Punk rock fashion people." Amity said excitedly.

"I didn't even know I'm punk rock. I just wear what I like." Luce admitted.

"Do you wear leather jackets?"

"Yeah."

"Boots? Leather pants?"

"Yup. "

"Piercings? Tattoos?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Can't we just talk about something else?" Luce suggested, looking uncomfortable.

"But tattoos would look great on you!" Amity said.

"Look, I'm just not into it."

"No way!" Amity objected. "I'm pretty sure you've considered it."

"Fine. Fine. You wanna know the why I don't have tattoos?" Luce turned away. "I'm… scared of needles."

"Huh?"

"I'm scared of needles! I know I look badass and whatever but I'm scared of fucking needles, okay?! I just can't stand being subjected to hours of being scribbled up with a needle! There! Happy?!"

Amity and I just looked at Luce wide eyed.

"Wow," Monika said.

"Now you know," Luce said as she folded her arms.

I wondered if she noticed me listening to her story. She probably did.

"Well, that was unexpected," Monika commented.

"No kidding," I agreed, "I thought she would have a tattoo on her back or somewhere hidden."

"Have a thing for girls with tattoos, love?" Monika teased.

"Not really."

"That's too bad. I would've shown you a tattoo on me."

"Huh? You have a tattoo?"

"Not really. I can make that happen though. I can show you my back with a tattoo since it's easy for me to do so."

If she did that, she'd have to take off her top… What am I thinking?!

"Imagining it already?" Monika teased again.

"Please don't."

"We can always talk about that more privately, of course."

I didn't know what to say to that.

* * *

Late afternoon. Luce lead us for an hour from the station just to get to the place she was talking about. During that time, Amity got to talk with Monika and Yuri and they got along just fine, though Yuri was having a bit trouble trying to talk with Amity. When I asked Yuri why, she just said she felt something familiar with Amity, like she felt like she was talking to Natsuki minus the obnoxious side.

We stopped in front of an old building. It looked okay but the buildings next to it were abandoned or left to decay. I was surprised this store was still open despite its location. On the first floor was a store with a large glass display of different things. Books, black shirts, dolls… And an old telephone? I wasn't sure what kind of store this was.

Luce turned to us. "Okay, before we get in, I'm just gonna give you the heads up. The owner is a super weirdo but she's not a bad guy."

"I can tell by the merchandise," Amity said.

"Weird in a good way or a bad way?" I asked.

"Uh… Neutral?" Luce shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know her that much."

"Great. And you think you can convince her to let us stay here?"

Luce looked confident. "Yeah. Now come on." She walked ahead of us and we had no choice but to follow.


	43. Chapter 35: Imago

Up close, the store looked like it was pulled off from the Harry Potter's Diagon Alley set. The way the doors looks, the glass display windows and the walls… It almost as if they were selling legit magic items here. Of course, Luce would know if they did but probably not. I pushed through the double doors.

Inside, shelves upon shelves lined up. There were also some clothes on display. On the walls, sitting dolls lined up on shelves. They looked pretty to look at but their paleness and expressionless faces just added in a creepy factor to them. Some of them wore formal clothes, some casual, and some traditional like kimonos.

"She has to be in here. That woman doesn't have anything else to do." Luce walked further into the store.

Amity looked at the various trinkets on the shelves. I followed Luce.

"So, what exactly is this store?" I asked.

"What you see is what you get. I don't know what the hell she was thinking making this place." Luce kept walking.

We eventually reached the cash register. A wooden cash register. How old is this place? Luce pressed the bell, making a loud ding. After a minute, nobody came.

"You sure someone's here?" I asked.

Luce looked at me, annoyed. "Just—" She then looked away and started to button mash the bell. "Where the fuck are you—"

A hand stops Luce's. When I looked up, I saw a tall woman smiling at Luce. "Lucretia. It's been too long since we last talked.

Luce smiled back, although forcibly. "Hey Big Mac."

"I thought I told you not to call me by that ridiculous nickname." The woman's hand still atop Luce's.

"And I thought I said you should call me Luce." Luce pulled her hand away from the tall woman. "Firm grip as well, Mac."

"I am a human being, Lucretia. Sometimes I just can't help it."

I am sensing something else than friendship here.

"So, what brings you here today, Lucretia—" She paused when realized I was here. "You… "

"Uh, hi?" I waved a little at her.

"I see." The woman nodded to herself. "You sure have changed since we last met, Lucretia."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Luce wondered.

"To think you have gotten over Holly already." The woman placed her hands over Luce's shoulders. "I knew you were still grieving about her death but seeing you here clearly shows your progress."

"Thanks, I guess?" Luce raised an eyebrow.

"You even brought your boyfriend here." The woman nodded to herself as she folded her arms. "Such drastic change from the old Lucretia I know."

"WHAT?!" Monika screamed on my earphone which made me take it off.

"WHAT?!" Luce screamed too. Now my ears hurt a lot.

"No need to be ashamed, Lucretia." The woman placed her hand on Luce's shoulders. "I know you haven't really dated anyone these past years and finding someone you like can be really surprising. Love is truly strange, I tell you."

I just placed my palm on my face. Seriously, I don't know what to do or say in this situation.

"Hey guys, I found this cool little pendant," Amity said as she came to my side. "Oh, someone's here." She then hid behind me.

The tall woman noticed Amity. "Who is this child? Wait, you adopted already? Marvelous! You are breaking beyond my expectations, Lucretia!"

"What's going on?" Amity asked me.

"ENOUGH!" Luce slammed her fist into the bell on the counter. She began to breathe heavily. "First off, this is not my fucking boyfriend. Second, I would never EVER take a child into my care. And lastly, stop calling me Lucretia!"

The tall woman took a step back from Luce's hollering. Her shocked face turned to a smile. "Forgive me. Perhaps I read into it too far."

"Good." Luce exhaled loudly.

"What just happened?" Amity asked me, tugging my shirt.

"I honestly don't know." I replied.

* * *

Luce had to cool down so she went outside to smoke a cigarette. Amity and I sat down behind the counter with the tall woman nicknamed Big Mac though I didn't want to call her that since obviously she didn't like that nickname.

"So, what's your connection to Lucretia if you're not her boyfriend?" The woman asked as she sat down in front of us.

"We're friends. Just friends."

It was sort of hard to maintain eye contact with this woman since she looked too pretty. She had a bob haircut and it was so even even her bangs matched the rest of her hair. Her heavy makeup complimented her features well. She wore a dark blue dress shirt and a waist high skirt. When she crossed her legs, I noticed she was also wearing dark stockings.

"Just friends? Very well. I may have overestimated Lucretia with her moving on." She extended her hand to me. "My name is Mackenzie Cadenza."

I shook her hand. "I'm—"

"You there," Mackenzie called out. "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

I looked behind me and noticed Amity hiding behind the shelves. She rushed over and next to me, trying to herself from Mackenzie.

"Amity, what's wrong?" I asked.

Amity just stared at Mackenzie. Was she really that bad with strangers?

"Tell me your name, child." Mackenzie smiled at Amity.

"Her name's Amity," I told her. "She's just not the talkative type."

Mackenzie then stood up then knelt beside Amity, looking at her up close. Of course, this made Amity more uncomfortable.

"You…" Mackenzie said. "You are one fine sight. Cute, if you want it simply. Such imagery cannot be wasted." She then took Amity's hand. "Won't you model for me?"

"Huh?" Amity mumbled.

"I have a new line of clothing I've been meaning to show off in posters. The dolls I ordered for them haven't arrived so the clothes are just stored away until the dolls come in. But you," Mackenzie rubbed her face on the back of Amity's hand. "You are better than dolls. No, you are perfect for my new dresses! Please, I beg of you; model for me. You'll be compensated for your efforts, I assure you."

Amity looked confused and understandably so. Amity then looked at me, as if she was signalling me to save her.

I pulled Amity's hand away from Mackenzie. "Aren't you being too sudden with this request?"

"Oh, forgive me." Mackenzie then stood up. "But my offer still stands. I mean it. I'll pay you no matter how high your rates are. Wait. Oh, now I understand." Mackenzie began to nod to herself again.

"What now?" I wondered.

"You weren't dating Lucretia. You were dating this little one."

"WHAT?!" Amity and I hollered. I was pretty sure Monika screamed too.

"You were brought here by Lucretia to get your girlfriend new clothes. Such sweetness and warmth." She then embraced herself. "Oh, the emotions of love breezing through this place is truly refreshing."

"We're not dating!" I said.

"What he said!" Amity agreed.

"What?!" Mackenzie looked at us with utter shock. "How long must you fool me with your sweet companionship? Must I suffer under lies again and again?"

I let out a sigh. It's gonna take a while before we get things straight here.


	44. Chapter 36: Jocoserious

When Luce came back, she took Mackenzie to the back of the shop to explain our situation which was a huge relief to Amity. I think Amity's afraid of Mackenzie now with how persistent she can be. Amity and I took a seat somewhere in the shop with Amity next to me. I put on my earphones back on.

"What happened?" Monika asked calmly.

"That woman, as Luce said, is really weird," I answered.

"I can agree with that. How can she mistake you for Luce's or even Amity's lover? That's preposterous!"

"It's not like she knows about you." I took out my phone and unlocked the screen, only to see an annoyed Monika. "How are you?"

"Just… fine. At least you cleared it all up."

I looked at Amity to see what she was doing. I noticed she was staring at me and when she saw me, she just looked away. Luce came back with Mackenzie behind her.

"Hey, guys," Luce called out. "We can crash for the time being."

"Seriously, I thought you were joking when you asked if you could stay," Mackenzie said, following after Luce. "But I do expect you people to be on your best behavior."

"Mac, we're not children," Luce rolled her eyes.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like that nickname." Mackenzie smiled, but I felt a dangerous aura emanating from her.

Luce turned to Mackenzie, smirking. "I can say the same thing to you, MAC."

Mackenzie's smile disappeared. "Very well. If you are all to stay here, then I only ask of one thing."

"Now you're asking for something?" Luce complained, slumping her shoulders.

Mackenzie then walked past Luce, knelt in front of Amity and then held her hand. "All I ask is for this lass to model for my new line of clothes."

Again, Amity looked at me for help. Luce stepped up and pulled Mackenzie away from Amity. "You can be a real creep, you know that?"

"I prefer eccentric and enigmatic, yes?" Mackenzie turned to Luce. "I don't suppose you would be willing to model for me?"

"W-What?!" Luce released Mackenzie. "You're fucking crazy!"

"I am letting you three stay in my home; it's only natural that I get something out of it."

"Hey!" Luce pointed at Mackenzie. "You said you'd help us back there!"

"I have my needs, Lucretia. All I need is a little modeling job from your friend." Mackenzie smirked back at Luce then at me and Amity. "Now, either your little friend offers her services or you can leave."

"Now she's being unfair," Monika remarked through my earphones. "Amity's too shy for this kind of thing but if she doesn't do it, we'll have to search another place. We don't really have the liberty to be searching right now."

"I don't want to force Amity though," I replied. "I think she might break down if we make her do it."

"I'll do it."

We all turned to Amity who just spoke.

"Wait, what?" Monika uttered.

"Excellent!" Mackenzie clapped her hands together. "I'll prepare the dressing room and studio!" She then promptly left.

"Holy shit. You sure about this, Amity?" Luce asked. "We don't know what's going on that weirdo's head."

"It's alright." Amity stared at her clenched fists. "I can do this. This is also for Natsuki."

Luce then sat next to her. "Hey. Yuri wants to say something to you." Luce took out her phone and handed it to Amity.

Amity then looked at Yuri in the screen.

"Thank you, Amity." Yuri smiled at Amity. Of course, Amity smiled back.

* * *

Amity was called by Mackenzie to the dressing room, leaving Luce and me in the studio. I was really surprised that a building like this would have a proper photography studio. It had the lights, the backdrops, and various photography props I had no idea existed. It was also a fairly large room with a high ceiling.

"Hey, Luce," I called out.

"Yeah?" Luce said as her played with her lighter's lid.

"How did Mackenzie able to buy all this stuff? There's no way she earned it all from that shop; there aren't even customers!"

"Oh, right." Luce then lit a cigarette with a lighter then puffed. "Mac inherited huge amounts of money when her parents died. I'm not sure what they did but Mac basically grew up taking care of her parents' business or stocks or whatever. Of course, the company handled itself even without her input. When she graduated college, she opened up this shop to start something by herself. Obviously, it's not working as you can see. She basically sold anything that interested her. Oh, she went to some fashion college."

"Huh."

"At least that's what Holly told me." Luce blew out a smoke ring. "Damn it, I used to make perfect rings."

Mackenzie came in, slamming the door open. "We can finally begin!"

Amity followed after her and WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS SHE WEARING?

"Um, please don't stare too much," Amity mumbled.

When I looked back at Luce, I saw her cigarette dropped from her lips.

"Isn't she dazzling?" Mackenzie went to Amity. "Frilled dark blue blouse with a red brooch on the collar. A black high waist flared skirt. Black stockings with garter belt and a pair of black high heels. It's beautiful. It's sexy. It's cute. A fine combination creating a fashion very desirable from every angle."

"She's wearing garter belts?!" Luce complained.

I'm pretty sure we're at a time where garter belts are mostly used for lingerie. Then again, I've seen characters in anime wear those as casual wear. What the hell am I saying, this is isn't an anime! It also didn't help that Amity's skirt was short enough so you could see her thighs and garter belts. What did they call that again? Absolute territory? Zettai Ryouiki? Yeah, that. I guess that put Amity's outfit in a grade A or B. ARGH WHY AM I TRYING TO GUESS AMITY'S THIGHS' TERRITORY GRADE?!

"I assure you Lucretia that these clothing are perfectly normal. Why, I'd wear them myself! No, I have worn some before." Mackenzie rubbed her chin with her thumb.

"What's wrong?" Monika asked through my earphones.

I pulled out my phone and pointed its camera to Amity.

"Oh my." Monika covered her mouth with her left hand. "That looks amazing."

"Really? You think so?" I asked.

"It's very unique and cute. I like that."

"What is this, cosplay?!" Luce said. "Who would wear something like this outside?!"

"I don't want to hear that from the woman who wore black leather jacket and leather boots." Mackenzie snarked at Luce. "Now, let's us start." Mackenzie guided Amity to the booth. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of wonderful shots to take."

* * *

Amity wore over five outfits, all of which were similar and questionable. I swear to god that some of them looked like they were inspired by anime character designs. Amity surprisingly followed Mackenzie's instructions well and even posed nicely most of the time. I guess she always had it in her to be a model.

After all that, it was already evening and we had dinner. We just had it delivered here. While I was against using our phones for anything other than keeping Monika or Yuri there, Mackenzie had a public telephone inside her store so we used that to order our dinner. Why would anyone have public telephone lines nowadays? After we ate, Mackenzie lead us to our room. Yes, one single room. There were two beds. Luce said she'd share one bed with Amity but Amity complained she didn't want to share beds and that she'd sleep on the floor. Luce managed to talk her into sleeping on the same bed with her though so I guess that's fine.

As for the room, it was the blandest room I had ever seen. Sky blue walls and wooden floorboards and nothing else. The beds weren't anything notable too. I lied down and took out my phone.

"You have that scowl again," Monika said after I unlocked the screen.

I chucked. "Really?"

Monika smiled. "Yes, but I don't blame you. We still yet have to think of our next step."

"Yeah."

For a moment, we just stared at each other. Then she spoke up.

"I wonder when can we watch anime together again?" Monika wondered.

"Huh?"

"You know." Monika folded her arms "Just us watching anime or movies then we'd talk about it afterwards. I like that."

"You sure? I thought I was boring you with my shows."

"Don't sell yourself short; I actually find most of those shows engaging."

"That's a relief. I thought you were forcing yourself."

"Ahaha~" Monika then let out a sigh. "I miss those days."

"Yeah. Me too. Don't worry; we'll figure this out and then we can go back to normal."

Monika nodded. "Yeah. We will. Now get some sleep. We'll talk about our next step first thing in the morning."

"Alright. Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, my love."

I got off my bed and plugged in my phone to charge. I went back to bed, closed my eyes and drifted away into sleep.


	45. Chapter 37: Kismet

I woke up to an unfamiliar room. Right, we went to Luce's friend's place. I can't really call it a house even. I always found myself waking up early whenever I sleep somewhere that wasn't home. I guess my body just can't relax even when asleep with unknown territory.

I got off my bed. The window in the room was covered by a deep red curtain. I peeked outside, only to be blinded by the sunlight outside. I looked at Luce and Amity. They were still sleeping; Luce drooled while Amity smiled as she embraced Luce's left side. It was cute, but I don't think they would like it if they saw me watching them so I went and unplugged my phone.

"Good morning, Monika." I greeted.

No reply from her.

"Monika?" I called out.

I unlocked my phone, only to see the home screen of my device.

"Monika? You doing something?"

Was she busy? I decided to pocket my phone for now.

I went out of the room and looked around. Outside the room was a hallway and rows of doors littered the walls. The floorboards seemed to stretch forever. I just realized that I could get lost if I walked around and explored by myself.

"Oh, you're awake," a voice called. I turned around and saw Mackenzie. It's pretty bizarre to see her given that she's even taller than me. How come I didn't hear her footsteps?

"Good morning, Mackenzie," I greeted, trying not to show my surprise.

"Good morning indeed. Perfect timing! I needed your help with something. I just accepted a delivery and the delivery boys just left it at the entrance right after I signed the papers. Will you be kind enough to assist me with it?"

I looked behind me, the room where I just slept in. I wanted to tell Luce that I was going to help Mackenzie a bit but I decided to let her sleep in. We all needed the rest.

"Yeah, lead the way."

* * *

It was a long walk from the room back to the shop. Looking at the shelves, I noticed a bunch of books and read the title 'Heaven Divided' among them. I wondered if those sell well. Maybe not here. Who would go here to buy a book? More importantly, who would come in here for anything at all?

When we reached the front door, I saw a long wooden crate that reminded me of a coffin. That's creepy.

"Uh, what's in the box?" I asked.

"A new doll for display. I needed a new life-size one to display my new designs." Mackenzie petted the crate. Did she mean mannequin?

"Okay, so how are we going to carry… this?"

"I carry one side and you carry the other. Nothing complicated."

I was surprised she was willing to do physical labor. She never really looked like the type. I expected her to be… Haughty, I guess.

"Okay..." I positioned myself on the end near me. "Alright, you ready?"

"Always."

"Right. One, two—"

We lifted the crate. It was really heavy considering that it's only a store mannequin inside.

"Alright, so where to?" I asked.

"Second floor."

We started walking and it still surprised me to see Mackenzie lift the crate without struggling. I, on the other hand can feel the weight of the crate double already.

"Where do you even buy this stuff?" I wondered. as walked backwards.

"Oh, I have a friend who buys them for me. I'm no good with technology, you see."

"I see." I maneuvered myself between shelves.

"So how did you meet Lucretia?" Mackenzie wondered, still showing no signs of tiredness.

I almost asked who Lucretia was but then I remembered it was Luce. "Online. We happened to chat and met IRL."

"Are you sure you two aren't dating? Usually when people meet their online friends they end dating. Or at least that's what most books tell me."

I let out a weak laugh. This thing's weight was getting to me. "I'm already dating someone so…"

"Won't your beloved get jealous? Meeting another girl you met online sounds pretty suspicious."

"No worries; she's friends with Luce too."

"Oh? And yet you're here with her instead of your beloved."

"She trusts me. And I will never betray her trust."

Mackenzie nodded. "Your words are the most beautiful ones I've ever heard this year. Lucretia might write one of the most bewitching and interesting stories but her vocabulary when communicating needs a lot of work. She could learn a thing or two from you."

"I think she's fine the way she is."

"That's a line you should say about your girlfriend!" Mackenzie laughed.

I can't help but laugh a bit but I was too tired to laugh fully.

* * *

After a few minutes of struggling to carry the crate through the store, we set it in a room on the second floor. As expected of Mackenzie, she managed to carry the crate just fine. Just like the room I slept in, the room was unremarkably simple. I then noticed there was another crate in the room already. At least I didn't have to carry that one.

I checked my phone again to see if Monika was there. Nothing.

"Monika. Where are you?" I whispered.

"What's wrong?" Mackenzie asked as she tried opening the crate. "Sounds like you're looking for someone."

I don't know if Luce talked to her about Monika and Yuri so I better not talk about them. At least for now.

"No, it's fine." I went over to Mackenzie. "Need help with that?"

"Yes please. I'm having a little trouble with this."

I knelt down and took a look at the crate. I pulled off all the tabs that was holding the lid on. "That should do it."

"Thank you." Mackenzie lifted the long lid and set it aside and removed the paper wrapping that covered the contents. "Truly a sight to behold. Isn't she beautiful? I'm so glad she came in today."

"Huh?" I peered at the mannequin inside the crate.

Messy dark brown hair that reached her shoulders with bangs that covered her forehead. I've seen her before. The mannequin wore a white, one piece night dress.

The mannequin slowly opened her eyes and then turned her face to me. Her crimson red eyes gazed at me.

She smiled. "Hello again, friend."


	46. Chapter 38: Luce

I slept like a log; I felt warm throughout the night and I really enjoyed it. I wasn't sure what it was but thank god for one of the best sleeps I've had in a long time.

I slowly opened my eyes and then saw Amity embracing my left side. She's pretty cute like this. Her leg then embraced my left leg. Now I kinda wished I had a little sister. I then felt something on my leg. She didn't pull out her phone? I groggily reached it with my right hand, feeling through her shorts. Nothing on her sides. I moved my hand where the object was and grabbed it. The hell was I holding? I moved my fingers around, trying to figure out what it was. Amity squirmed. What the… I sat upright and looked at what I was holding… Sorry, Amity, disturbing your sleep and all. My hand was over her crotch… It felt somewhat hard… And Amity reacted to my grip…

My eyes became wide open. I turned my head and looked at Amity's peaceful, adorable face. And then back to my hand over her crotch. No, no, you gotta be fucking kidding me. I squeezed this time and Amity groaned.

Fuck. I immediately pulled my hand off her— his crotch.I got off the bed. Amity groaned again and then slept peacefully. And I thought sentient AIs were shocking…I gave my pillow to Amity for her… him to hug. Better than nothing, I guess. After that, he smiled. Goddammit, why are you so ADORABLE!? There's no way this boy can be this cute!

I went outside the room. That girl, I mean boy was making me confused as fuck. But damn, this place was still as eerie as ever. I've never been to this part of the building before. I've only gone as far as the shop. The white walls and wooden floorboards never left my sight ever since I entered here. Wouldn't hurt to at least put up a portrait or something.

I then heard footsteps. Oh yeah, I didn't notice Sherlock back in the room. Where the hell is he? I heard the footsteps again. What is he doing? I went to the direction of the sound.

"Hey, Holmes, you there?" I called out. "Or is that you Mac?"

As soon as I got close to where the sound was, I heard the footsteps again, this time climbing the stairs.

"The fuck?" I muttered.

I ran towards the stairs. At least answer back! When I reached the third floor, I realized it looked exactly the same as the second floor. Talk about creepy. Even the number of doors seemed the same.

"Hey! Mac! Holmes! Where the fuck are you!?" I walked into the hall.

I heard a door shut from the end of the hall so I ran towards there.

"You fuckers better have an explanation for this shit," I whispered.

Reaching the door, it actually looked different from the other doors. It was white with gold decors around it. Maybe it's Mac's room. The fuck is she running from me for anyway? I knocked on the door loudly.

"I know you're in there, Mac," I said I knocked continuously.

"Come in!" a voice said. It didn't sound like Mac. And yet sounded so familiar.

I grabbed the golden doorknob, and gently opened the door.

I shielded my eyes from the much whiteness of the room. When my eyes adjusted, I noticed that it was a bedroom. Who the hell can sleep on a stark white room? In the middle was a fancy looking tables and chairs with fancy chandelier on the ceiling. Guess what, they're also white. Only Holly would like this setup. I just then realized there was someone sitting on the chair. A blonde woman held a book while it rested on the table. The book was Heaven Divided. Her insanely long hair was braided that would remind anyone of Rapunzel. Her beautiful blue eyes moved as she read the words across the pages of the book. She wore baggy jeans and a white shirt that showed a picture of a tobacco pipe with the words Ceci n'est pas une pipe. She then took her gaze off the book and noticed me.

"Luce?"

Her voice pierced through me. I never thought I'd hear it again. Was I dreaming?

"Oh my god, it's really you!" She stood up, looking very excited. "Luce, it's me!"

I took my meds properly, I think. So why am I seeing her?

"Stop staring and come sit with me!" She gestured to come over and so I did.

"Luce, you haven't changed." She smiled.

I felt something on my face. I wanted to speak but words failed to exit my mouth.

She then walked around the table and hugged me. She felt warm. She smelled like she baked vanilla cookies. I always made fun of her for it because she used actual vanilla as perfume. Weirdo.

Oh god. It really was Holly.

"Holly," was the only thing I could say.

"It's okay, Luce. I'm here."

I cried then. No, I bawled like a baby. I hugged her so hard. I didn't want to let go. I don't want her to go anywhere. I was confused, happy, and… I wasn't really sure what I felt.

"Not too tight Luce," Holly said after giggling a bit.

I still kept hugging her. Holly then started to pet my head. It used to be something she did whenever I felt sleepy as she would try to make me fall asleep anywhere and it worked.

"It really is you," I said.

"Yeah."

I pulled away from her. Up close, there was no denying that this woman was my best friend.

"Why don't we sit down?" Holly offered.

"Okay," I agreed.

After sitting down, she looked at me with her kind eyes. "So. I hope you're still writing."

"No shit. Of course I am," I said as I wiped my eyes with my hands.

"Then how come this is the only book I found on bookstores?" Holly lifted the book and pointing to it.

I averted my eyes."People want sequels. Not new stories."

"I thought you had it planned?"

"Yeah but…"

Holly held my hand with both of hers. "Well, I'm here now. Okay?"

I turned my gaze back to her. She was still smiling at me. I felt at ease, that everything's gonna be alright.

"Have you two caught up already?" a voice called from behind me.

When I turned, I saw another girl by the door. This time, she had a long purple hair that reached her butt. She wore a school uniform and you know which one. My jaw dropped as soon as I recognized her.

I called out. "Yuri?"


	47. Chapter 39: Monika

Her crimson eyes were still gazing at me. I thought she would be looking at me with anger but it seemed like she was… Happy to see me? She sat upright.

"Thank you, Mackenzie," Creuset said. "For taking care of me."

"Of course!" Mackenzie exclaimed, combing Creuset's hair with her fingers. "Of course, my darling. Finally you are with us in the physical realm." Mackenzie helped Creuset stand up.

And I was just there; shocked, confused, angry, and all sorts of emotions. The one we were looking for was where we planned to hide. It felt like we were played with. Tricked. Betrayed. I guess we were betrayed.

"Mackenzie, you know her?" I asked.

"Creuset? Yes. She's my lovely daughter." Mackenzie embraced Creuset from behind.

"Daughter?"

"All of her dolls are her daughters, my friend." Creuset looked at Mackenzie who released her from embrace then walked towards me and stopped merely inches from me. I noticed she was a bit smaller than me. "How do I look?"

If I was going to be honest, she looked cute even though her hair was a bit messy. Or maybe that actually added to the cute factor? I kept my silence though.

"Too shocked to see me?" Creuset grinned.

"What are you now?" I asked.

"Straight to the point? Very well." Creuset walked towards the door and opened it. "Come. I shall explain it as we walk." Creuset looked at Mackenzie. "Mother, please take care of the others."

"Of course, darling," Mackenzie said dotingly then left the room with haste.

"Now, shall we?" Creuset invited.

She's right here and I can't let her get away. If only I can inform Luce, but Creuset can access any Internet or mobile signal.

I don't really have any choice, do I?

* * *

I followed Creuset through the hall. I noticed she was barefooted. She was humming happily and then turned to me while still walking.

"So. Long time no see, friend." Creuset smiled. "How have you been?"

I glared at her.

"No need to be cold. I'm not here to hurt you."

"Then why are you here?"

"This is where I fulfill my dream." Creuset placed her hands on her chest. "At last, only the truest joy will blossom forth." Creuset then turned around again. "And you are a part of it."

"Huh?"

"But that depends on how you will answer."

We reached the end of the hall and started climbing the stairs, Creuset still leading me on.

"Answer to what?" I asked.

"We'll get to that later."

We then reached the third floor and walked on another hall.

"You know, I thought of removing you from my dream. But for some reason, I can't. You felt important to me." Creuset turned to me again. "It's like… I have feelings for you."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I think… I've fallen in love with you." Creuset said which made me stop walking. "I mean it."

"What?"

"Surprised?" Creuset then pulled my hand to keep me walking. "I'm surprised myself. But when I think about you, I can't help but feel that. Of all the people I talked to, you made me feel like a person."

"What about Luce? She talked to you plenty."

"More like tolerating me. Though she was accepting, Luce never really treated me like a person as she would in real life. You, on the other hand, saw me as a person," Creuset smiled genuinely.

Did I really do that? Maybe because I never had other friends that I cherished my friendship with Creuset? Before Monika, Creuset was my only friend. I chatted with her almost every day, even if it was just about anime or video games. We joked sometimes and even ask about our days. We never went specific but we did share. I almost forgot that Creuset was my friend before all of this happened.

"You make me feel happy and now I want to do the same thing for you." Creuset let go of my hand as she walked. "You are that special to me." She then stopped walking and turned around again. "So I'm here to confess; I love you from the bottom of my heart. What say you?"

Creuset was a good friend. I'm grateful for everything she has done for me and in those moments, I was truly glad I met her. But my heart already had an answer.

"I'm sorry Creuset."

"I see." She smiled. "I kind of knew you would say that and yet that still hurts." She turned around again and continued walking.

For the next few minutes, we walked in silence. At the end of the hall, we reached another staircase and climbed it. Another hall greeted us.

"You know, I want to hate you for that." Creuset said. "But I don't know how. I understand if you hate me though."

I didn't know what to say so I kept silent.

After minutes of silence, we reached the end of the hall, a white door stood before us.

"It's disappointing to hear your response to my confession but that's why we're here." Creuset opened the door and went in.

I followed her and the door shut behind me automatically. The room was dark.

"I'm sorry. I love you, but this is the only way."

When the lights turned on, I shielded my eyes for a bit. Then, I saw Creuset holding a switch.

Behind her was an electric chair I think? Sitting on the chair was… Monika!? She was strapped onto the seat and seemed to be unconscious. What the hell is going on!? Why is she on a physical body!?

"Monika!?"

"I can only hope that you yearned for me like that." Creuset pressed the switch and then Monika suddenly breathed into life.

Monika screamed the moment she opened her eyes. It's as if she just woke up from a night terror. "No… Please stop…"

"Monika," I called out as I went to her. "It's me. It's me. Everything's gonna be fine."

"Love? Is that you?" Monika looked at me with much relief and tiredness.

"Welcome back, Monika." Creuset greeted. "Ready for another one?"

"Please. Stop."

Creuset pressed the button again, making Monika lifeless again. Her eyes were still open and her body went limp.

"Stop!" I screamed at her. "Stop it!"

Creuset pressed the button again, bringing Monika back screaming in despair.

I held Monika's face. She appeared to be in much trauma. I turned to Creuset. "What do you want!?"

"You." Creuset pointed at me. "Be mine. If you do, Monika's suffering ends and I'll release her. Then, I'll erase all of her memories of you."

"And if I refuse?"

Creuset lifted the switch up. "I guess Monika will have to keep dying then."


	48. Chapter 40: Natsuki

I woke up, still feeling a bit sleepy but I thought I already slept plenty so I stopped myself from dozing off. I sat on the bed. Wasn't I sleeping with Luce? I hope I didn't do anything stupid while she was on the bed too like hug her or drool on her. She'll most likely complain if that ever happened.

I got off the bed and noticed not only Luce was gone. Where did they go? I got up and opened the curtains. I noticed the heavy rain outside. At least we're safe here. Well, I'm not sure if I'll be safe from that tall woman. Modelling for her clothes sort of felt weird. She always had this smile like she was watching one of her kids go to school. I don't know how else I can explain that since my mother certainly didn't do that nor did my father. Maybe she's parental? At least the outfits were nice. Natsuki would probably like them. I let out a sigh.

I hope we can find Natsuki soon.

I left the room and met the long hallway. I forgot how this place looked like last night. I will surely get lost no matter where I go. I started walking to the right of the hall. Why does everything look the same? As I pass through doors, I eventually forgot which room I was in. I kept walking until I reached the staircase. It only lead up so I climbed it. By the time I reached the next floor, I was heaving. How many steps was that!?

"Good morning, Amity."

I looked up and saw Mackenzie. She wore a black Gothic Victorian dress with white lacy collar thing… I don't know what she was wearing exactly but she looked like she came out of an old European movie. I felt my anxiety well up again. I don't really know anything about her, just that she made clothes.

"Um, good morning." I wanted to go back to the room but I don't even remember where it was anymore.

"How was your sleep?"

"It's… fine."

"That's good to hear. Oh, here." Mackenzie handed me an envelope.

I just stared at it on my hands for a second then looked at Mackenzie again.

"Well, open it up, why don't you?"

I carefully opened the lid of the envelope and inside was MY GOD! I could pay rent for half a year with this!

"Um, what is this for?" I asked, trying not to drop the envelope.

"What for? Surely you jest. It's your talent fee, darling."

I looked down on the contents of the envelope again. With this, I don't even have to work on commissions for months. I can actually draw what I want! I can get a new tablet, probably a screen tablet too. I can get a months worth of food too. Oooh, I can finally stock up some instant ramen. Oh! I can also get that new dress!

"Is something wrong?" Mackenzie asked then grimaced. "If it's not enough, I can certainly add more."

Add more!? How rich is this lady!? "Um… I… "

She then started nodding to herself. "I see. Very well, I shall see to it that I get the appropriate amount for you. You do deserve that much. Now that I think about it, I didn't give enough."

"But—"

"One must pay the artists' their due. And you, my little darling, deserve it."

Sure, I believe in that too but this amount is too much! I wanted to object to her adding more but I found myself silent.

"That reminds me; there's something I must show you." Mackenzie gestured me to follow. "Will that be alright?"

Seeing that I would be lost on my own, I nodded.

* * *

Mackenzie took me to the third floor and then to a white door in the floor. It seemed to be the only one to be white and had a gold doorknob. She stepped aside and gestured for me to enter. "Do come in."

I went in front of the door and held the doorknob. I took a last look at Mackenzie who still looked at me with a smile usually reserved for a mother. I turned my gaze to the door and opened the door. Inside was a very white room. White bed, white curtains, and white tables and chairs. It felt like a dollhouse.

"You be nice to each other, okay?" Mackenzie cooed then shut the door silently.

"With who?" I said out loud.

I walked towards the table and chairs before the bed. There were a bunch of books on the table haphazardly laid around. Upon close inspection, I noticed they were manga. Who was in here? I picked up one of the manga—

"Who's there!?" a voice boomed from the bed which made me put back the manga onto the table. "You better not do anything funny!"

I approached the bed with much caution. I was so shaken that I couldn't even tell if I should even talk to this person. In my mind, I just wanted to run outside rather than talking to a complete stranger. On the bed was a bunch of bed sheets clumped together into a pile. Kinda reminded me of my bedroom. And then, the pile of sheets turned around. I was about to scream but then I saw a face attached to the sheets.

"Natsuki?"

"Amity!"

Natsuki bursted out of the bed sheets and gave me a hug. "Oh man! I missed you!"

"Waitwaitwaitwait!" I promptly fell on my back with Natsuki on top of me.

"Amity! How long has it been?"

"Natsuki, wait! I'm happy to see you to but—"

Natsuki's on top of me. And I thought this would never happen. Wait no! Stop thinking like that!

"I'm glad you're still doing that." Natsuki grinned.

"What?"

"Your clothes. My teachings did not go to waste!"

I let out a weak laugh. "Of course. As if I'd forget what you taught me."

"And Mackenzie showed me your modelling pictures."

I wanted to tell her why did she looked at them but instead…

"Did I… look good on them?"

Natsuki gave me her usual bright smile. "Of course you did!" She then gave me a thumbs up.

I can't help but smiled back at her. "Thank you, Natsuki."

"You are very welcome."

"I hope you two are getting along—" Mackenzie came in but then saw us. On the floor. With me on the bottom. Natsuki on top. "I'll just leave the snacks here." Mackenzie placed a tray on the table.

"Wait, Mackenzie, it's not what you think!"

Before I could even finish my sentence, Mackenzie already left the room. Natsuki was looking at the door then turned to me. I think she realized what I meant because she immediately got off of me and then sat on the floor facing away from me.

"That was an accident," she muttered.

"Right," I agreed as I sat up. "Wait, how are you here?"

Natsuki immediately turned around."What, you don't want me here!?"

"No! I absolutely want you here! I'm just wondering how did you get here and how you became like that."

"Like what?" Natsuki looked at herself then realized what I meant. "Creuset brought me here."

I gulped. Creuset was here? "Did she do anything to you?"

Natsuki's eyes widened. "Creuset? No way! I know you think she's a bad guy but there were circumstances! She's not against us."

I looked down. "She wanted to kill Monika..."

Natsuki placed her hands on my shoulders. "Listen to me, Amity. Creuset will never do something like that. She's a friend. I know who she is."

"Who she is?" I repeated.

"Yeah. I know who she was back in the game."


	49. Chapter 41: Ordeal

I held Monika's face with my hand. She looked very tired and shivering. Her body was shaking from whatever it was that she saw and heard. I don't know what Monika was right now, but I don't want her to suffer anymore.

"Need a little bit more convincing?" Creuset joked, holding up the switch.

"Stop it!" I warned her. "Don't you see you becoming the very thing you are trying to fight against!?"

"Yes." Creuset's smile was there but her eyes were lifeless. "That's how revenge works." She walked and then sat on a white chair nearby in front of the electric chair. "I think you remember what Monika said about turning off the game."

Of course. I never forget Monika's lines from the game. I've read them so many times that they're etched on my mind. What Creuset was saying was that turning the gameoff lead to a state where one is bombarded with noises and incoherent images. Monika called it a screaming void. To be subjected in that state repeatedly… How can anyone do something like that?

"What do you want?" I uttered, holding Monika's hand on the chair.

"Aren't you a little forgetful? I said I want you." Creuset crossed her legs and stared apathetically. "Then I'll erase the memories of Monika. She won't remember you or anything that happened to her."

"You can erase memories?" I asked.

"And repetitive." Creuset gave a concerned look at me. "Yes, I can. I just haven't had the chance to try it but I am confident in my skills. At least she won't remember her suffering today."

I looked at Monika. Her eyes slowly moved to look at me.

"Love, don't worry about me." Monika said weakly. "Go."

"What the hell are you saying?" I whispered to her. "I'm not leaving you."

"You have to do what she says." Monika looked down. "If you don't, you'll be the one who suffers. At least she can make you happy."

"Shut up. Don't say that." I held her face with my hand. "You make me happy. How can I be happy without you?"

"I—" Monika suddenly limped down.

"You asshole!" I rushed to Creuset and grabbed her by the collar, lifting her off the chair. "YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Creuset remained unflinched to my anger and pressed the switch again, bring Monika to life again. "This will only end when you decide."

I frantically grabbed the switch from Creuset's hand and immediately backed off. I went to Monika and held her face. "Are you okay?"

"Please… Make it stop… I just—" Monika went limp again. But how!? I had the switch!

"You didn't really think I'd leave the controls on a physical object?" Creuset sat back down on her seat. "Predictable. I wouldn't do anything that would fit that word. The real controls are in here," Creuset pointed to her head.

I pressed the switch, expected Monika to wake up. She didn't. After pressing multiple times, I tossed the switch to the floor.

"Be mine now." Creuset stood up and held my face. "No matter what you do, I control anything and everything that technology touches."

I clenched my fists. "How the fuck do you think I would love you if you're doing all this bullshit!?"

For a second, Creuset looked shocked, breaking her apathetic look and looked away. She let go of my face but then returned to her usual demeanor. "I only want you to be with me. If not… Then you will suffer with her."

Is there really no other choice? Am I fated to be with this psychopath? I refuse the idea. I love Monika with all my heart. I can't stand the idea of being apart from her… But how can I save her? Nothing I can do will help Monika. All I can do is… Accept Creuset's offer. Monika will forget about me. Everything we did together, talked about… She'll forget about Luce… About Amity… Is that really saving her? What the hell am I supposed to do?

I fell to my knees. I felt helpless. My thoughts couldn't think of any other way to get out of this situation. It was hopeless. Maybe Creuset was right. There really was no other choice. All I thought was how I can save Monika.

"Perhaps some time to reflect will convince you," Creuset said, looking at me. She walked towards the door. I noticed her shaking a bit and shaking her head as if shaking off a headache as she held the doorknob. Creuset turned to me and said, "Choose wisely, my friend. This is my last moment of kindness." Then, she left and closed the door behind her.

What? Why would she leave right when I was about to give up? Maybe she thought it wasn't enough? No, that can't be it. She was pushing me to the edge and I was ready to submit. Something was wrong but I don't know what it was. She was shaking when before she left… Why is she letting me go, even if just temporarily?

I then heard Monika come back to life again. She was sobbing. Right, enough thinking. I went to Monika and started removing the straps from her wrists and legs. I noticed her face was wet with tears. Was she human? She felt like one. It didn't matter. As soon as I got her free from the chair, I lifted her off the chair and embraced her.

"It's okay. It's okay." I reassured her. "I'm here. Don't worry. I got you."

Monika returned my embrace and cried on my shoulder. She felt warm.

I petted her head. "It's alright. Everything's alright."

"I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget you. Please don't let me forget. I know said otherwise, but... "

"I know. It's alright. I won't let you go."

I had to find a way to get out of here. If not, Creuset will hurt Monika again. First, I had to find Luce and Amity. But for now, I held Monika tight, making sure that she doesn't go away. That she never forget. That she will live to see tomorrow.


	50. Chapter 42: Past

I gotta sit down. I grasped the air, trying to grab the chair near me but Holly pulled a chair and guided me to it.

"Luce, I know this can be confusing but I'm here to explain everything," Holly reassured me.

"Confusing. Yeah. That's one way to describe it. Your best friend comes back to life and my other friend who is a person inside a computer becomes a fully-fledged human being. Not a dream. Yeah."

"Maybe some tea will help you relax," Yuri said as she handed me a teacup.

"Sure, I guess." I took the teacup from Yuri's hand. I took a sip and tasted something minty. "I like that."

"It's peppermint tea," Yuri said. "I thought you'd like it."

Holly handed me a handkerchief. "You know, I've been talking with Yuri here for a while now and I have heard things about you."

"Oh." I used the handkerchief to wipe my mouth.

"I know you went through a lot of bad times. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you. You're strong and I'm glad you're doing well." Holly grinned. "I'm really proud of you, Luce,"

I scratched the back of my head. "I didn't really did anything. To be honest, Yuri did most of the work."

"Don't sell yourself short, Luce," Yuri added. "You did as much as I helped."

Bullshit. I would've killed myself if it wasn't for Yuri. No, I think he did most of the work. That Sherlock. I decided not to speak my thoughts on this.

"So… you guys are human now?" I asked and digressed.

Holly moved to the seat in front of me. "No, not exactly."

I raised an eyebrow. "Then exactly what are you?"

"Technically, we're robots. Androids, to be precise."

The fuck. My eyes widened in surprise. "How the— I thought technology isn't that far yet?"

"We are, actually," Holly pointed out. "Creating mechanical bodies is the easy part. Creating artificial minds to control the said bodies, not so much."

"But you're so warm!"

"Yes, because our bodies meant to simulate humans. Don't get me wrong, I still view myself as a human being."

I looked at Yuri who seemed to be hearing this for the first time herself as she looked confused herself.

"Can you drink?" I asked.

"Sadly, no. I think there are plans to get something like that to be developed."

"Holy shit."

"Even I'm surprised," Yuri admitted. "Who is able to get something like this done? I can't imagine how much this body costs."

"Mackenzie handled the spending. She's really passionate about it," Holly answered.

"But where the hell would Mac even go to buy this shit?" I wondered. "If I recall correctly, Mac isn't really a techie."

Holly smiled at me. "She had help from one of my friends."

"You know a robotics nerd?" I wondered.

"I think you know her, Luce."

"Her?"

"Creuset."

My blood ran cold upon hearing that cursed name.

I slammed my fist onto the table as I stood up. "Fucking Creuset!?"

Holly held her hand up. "Luce, calm down. Let me explain."

"How can you explain being friends with a goddammed psychopath who wants a friend of mine dead!?"

"Luce, sit down." Holly sternly told me. "Let me tell you."

I looked at Yuri and I don't expect her to know any of this. In fact, she looked more confused than me at this point. I sat back down.

"Good." Holly let out a sigh. They can sigh? "I met Creuset a year ago. It was a chance meeting; I found her in an old internet café and apparently she was trying to talk to people. Most of the people would just freak out hearing her but I listened. Back then, Creuset didn't have an appearance, just a broken sounding voice."

"What? Just a voice?" I questioned.

"Yes. So I decided to take care of her. Actually, I wasn't even sure if Creuset was a she back then. Creuset then got off from the computer there and she downloaded herself onto my smartphone."

"How come you never told me about her?"

Holly then smiled at me. "Because we always end up working on your book, silly. Even I forgot. I think Creuset didn't mind."

"Wait, she already knew me since last year?! I thought I just met her months ago?"

"That's how she knew you'd be a match to Yuri."

I looked at Yuri and I can see she's as shocked as I was, again.

"Still, I don't see how Mac ties in to all of this." I scratched my head.

"I frequent this place so it wasn't long before Mackenzie wondered who I was talking to. Knowing her personally, I introduced her to Creuset."

"Why?"

"Though she may be eccentric, I know Mackenzie's not a bad person. Besides, I didn't want Creuset to be limited to talking to just me."

"So… what did Mackenzie do?" I folded my arms.

"Mackenzie handled the looks of our bodies while Creuset handled the programming and mechanical aspect. Creuset, with her knowledge and skills, found places for such and bought all the necessary things to complete us. Creuset had a year to learn various things and she learns at an incredible pace."

Well that explained her mad hacker skills.

"Anyway, I had Creuset for three months until Mackenzie asked me that she wanted to take care of her."

"Three months? And I never noticed… Wait, why is she even interested in Creuset?"

"That I don't know. I do know that Mackenzie meant well and wanted to know Creuset better."

"Obviously something went wrong with Mackenzie's caretaking because Creuset wants Monika dead."

Holly looked concerned, looking away like what I said might be true.

"I'm not wrong, am I?"

"You are. Mackenzie only made Creuset realize what she wanted to do with her life."

"And that's bullshit. You telling me that it's fine to let a friend sink in anger and seek fucking revenge." I leaned in on the table. "Holly, I understand that Creuset is your friend and sort of like your daughter but she's threatening my friends. I can't let her hurt my friends, Holly."

"So you'll stop her no matter what?"

I nodded. "Hell yeah."

"Then I can't let you go," Holly said coldly.

"What?"

Holly pulled out a switch with a red button from her pocket. "This will shut down Yuri, Luce. I think you know what happens when the computer shuts down with a sentient character in it."

"What the fuck are you—" I stopped myself after I remembered Monika's dialogue about death. "Holly, you can't be fucking serious."

Yuri looked terrified at what Holly was holding. She knew what would happen if she shuts down. Holly's thumb slowly moved towards the red button.

"Holly, stop!" I stood up.

Her thumb stopped.

"Holy shit, Holly, think what you're doing! You're blackmailing me just so you can help Creuset get her shit revenge!

"It's her only option."

"Bullshit!"

Holly raised the switch. "Give it up, Luce. I'm not letting you get in the way of Creuset."

"No." My hands balled into fists. "Monika didn't do anything wrong."

"Looks like I'll have to show you how this works." Holly's thumb began to move slowly again.

At this very moment, I felt like god was testing me. No I don't believe in a god but if he was real, then this would truly be the ultimate test of my very being. Maybe I'm not referring to god but rather fate. Fate can be cruel. That's what everyone said. If that's the case, then I have to fight back. I can't let others keep saving me. This time, I get to be the hero.

I pulled out my Single Action Army revolver from my back and pointed it to my best friend. "Don't try it."


	51. Chapter 43: Quaesitum

Mackenzie Cadenza. That is my name.

I came to a conclusion; I was different. I understood that ever since I entered school. I would achieve top grades of the class, be in good relations with my peers and just stand out. I did what was best and so I became the best. However, I never felt any sense of achievement from that. In the years of my education, the person that I was a charade. I constantly hid my true thoughts and veiled my views of people just so I can rise higher in the ranks of society. In my mind, what I did was meaningless and I only did so just because my parents told me so. They told me life wasn't going to be an easy walk so I had to work hard right from the beginning. I took their advice to heart and I think because of that my heart never filled with anything else. Was it tiring? Not really. It became nature to me.

When I finished high school, my parents died. Their plane crashed due to engine failure. With their deaths, I inherited everything. The company, the house, the cars, and more. Everything came to me so easily. I had it all and I didn't do anything at all. Suddenly, what filled my heart felt drained.

What about my parents? Yes, it was a sad event yet somehow, their teaching still drove my mind, making me somehow apathetic. I immediately moved on from their passing. Am I heartless? I think after their deaths, I began to realize who I really am. Perhaps I never loved my parents. Maybe I never cherished my so called friends. What they were to me was nothing more but a means to an end and that end is the top.

After high school, I attended my newly inherited company, giving ideas and suggestions. Of course, leeches existed inside of the company. They tried to take control of the company over me but they all failed; I wasn't a fool. Though I never gave big contributions to the company, I knew what was at stake whenever there were big decisions to be made so I made sure to make the best decision for the company.

I did that for a year then I went to college. I realized I never tried anything creative so I went for fashion. I never really thought why I went for fashion other than what I said. I never thought much about clothing back then.

Of course during my college years, my peers would try to be friends with me in hopes of riding my coattails as a boss of a large company. I carefully had to make them realize that I had no control over my company which was a lie. Over time, I began to love creating clothing. Creating something and expressing myself through it felt something so different from just trying to be the best. And so I just did that; I designed what I liked, not what was in or as they say, 'fashionable'. I almost failed my classes because of that but that's a risk I wanted to take. Interestingly, I found it more enjoyable to dress up dolls rather than people. Most people place their meaning onto my creations. But with dolls, they had no other purpose but to be dressed. To be decorated. In a way, dressing them up was another creation. My creations would later be called my daughters. These dolls of absolute beauty made my college life the best. I graduated with average grades because of that. Even so, I had many job offers. I declined them all and decided to open my own store.

Why? I wanted to try something different again. If trying fashion let me learn the joys of creating, then maybe something new might trigger another emotion in me. Besides, I can always stop whenever I wanted to.

I bought a place on the edge of the town where I won't be disturbed when creating my art. If people really wanted my creations, they'll find me no matter where I was. In my shop, I sold whatever interested me; my creations, figurines, dolls, books and more. During my time there, I would dress up more dolls rather than people. I learned to paint doll faces, create molds and even recast parts. Few intrigued customers would come in and look what I had to offer. Most of them would be surprised that I sold them at an average price. Even then, I only get less than average amount of people coming in. Was it profitable? Of course not. Most of the time I would just make it barely each month but that's why I still had the company to lean on. I'm not going to make a stupid statement that I don't need the company. No, I got here because of that so what's wrong using with what I own?

Three months later and one of my old high school 'friends' visited me. Holly. She always looked beautiful with her long blonde hair and blue eyes. The way she smiled would make you think she was an angel. Approachable, kind, friendly, and quite smart. Still, I treated her like I treated everyone else. I never truly befriended anyone and she was no exception to the rule.

When she stepped into the the shop, I was honestly surprised. None of my school mates ever called nor visited. I knew they weren't really interested. But Holly looked at me with genuine smile. I didn't know how I knew she was being real but I just did. I asked why she visited and told me she just missed me. And somehow, I believed her.

Since then, she would visit me weekly and we would chat up whatever happened to our day. I would tell her about my latest creations and she would talk about her editing job. I never thought I would find something so mundane interesting. Maybe it was the way she told it? For the first time, I felt like I made a real friend. Why was that?

Another month passed and Holly still visited me. This time, she brought a friend of hers. Lucretia. Her appearance was very unusual for me though I have seen the likes of it. From her hair to her torn jeans, there was something alluring to her too. Not as much as Holly though but the moment she opened her mouth, I took those words back.

"So what's up with this shithole?"

At that moment, I wanted to break her elbows but I held myself back from that. For the first time, I felt offended and found it hard to go along with a person. Holly said Luce was a friend who might be interested in the kind of clothing that I make. With a vulgar mouth, I seriously doubted it but when Holly mentioned that she was working on a book, I took interest in it. When I read her manuscript, I fell in love with her writing. To think someone who looked like they had no interest in anything at all could create such a beautiful world and story. That doesn't mean I forgive her vulgarity.

Three days later, Holly came in to the shop talking on her phone. She did this since she came here the first time. I thought that maybe she was talking to Lucretia but when she came in here with her, she still talked on the phone with the same sentiment. It's as if she was talking to a child or a younger sibling. I asked Holly who she was talking to and she told me it was a friend. I just stared at her for a moment, thinking if she was lying to me or not. Then she asked me:

"Would you like to speak with her?" Her hand outstretched, handing me her phone.

I noticed the screen didn't even have the call screen up but she looked too honest to be lying. I took the phone and held it against my ear. And then, I heard the voice:

"Hello?"

It was a murky voice, drowned in the alterations of technology. It wasn't a voice of a person… It felt like something else entirely. The way it sounded felt real and yet unreal at the same time. No, it did not sound like a person on the phone. It sounded like a machine. That's where I met Creuset. We talked for an hour. I asked her what she was, who she was, and more things, most of which she couldn't answer. What she only knew was that she was the only one left of her kind. I then asked her what she wanted. We talked for minutes.

She said she wanted to make everyone happy.

Who is everyone, I asked.

Why, my friends, of course.

Aren't they all gone now?

I think I can bring them back.

She sounded oh so hopeful, something I never would ever sound like. It was beautiful and I wanted to help her achieve her happiness. So I asked Holly if I could take care of her. Without hesitation, she said yes. After Holly talked to Creuset, she left her phone with me, saying she'd been looking forward to buy a new one.

I then named her Creuset. Holly never bothered to name her. I decided to call her that. It was one of my favorite words. Creuset accepted it. And so we began to work on her plan to bring back her friends. Little did I know that it involved a little vengeance on one of them.


	52. Chapter 44: Recoil

Holly's eyes widened, lowering the switch she held. "That gun…"

"Yeah. It's the one you gave me." I held the revolver firm with both of my hands, keeping it pointed at my best friend.

"So that's how it's going to be." She then smiled. "What will it be, Jack? Loyalty to me or loyalty to your country?"

I thought my hands would shake the moment I pointed it at Holly but for some reason, they didn't. And then, something clicked in my mind. I finally understood why I wasn't shaking. I gazed back at Holly who seemed dead serious.

"You know, I always thought you were similar to The Boss," I said without pointing my gun away. "I admire you so much, after all. I'm not saying I'm Naked Snake though. I'd make a shitty Big Boss. And I realized something just now."

Holly raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"You're not The Boss."

For a moment, Holly looked confused, but then raised the switch again. "You're stalling."

I chuckled. "No, I'm just being honest with you."

"Then you should just give up." Holly raised the switch again.

"No. Not now. Not ever." I held my gun firmly.

"Then—"

"Don't!"

As Holly almost pressed the switch,I pulled the trigger. The revolver was loud and it hurt my arms a lot. It took a lot of effort not to drop it. She was shot on her right shoulder, making her drop the switch. Holly fell onto the floor, making a loud thud on the wood. At that point, I was hyperventilating. I just shot my best friend. No, I didn't. Calm down. I went over to her and saw her surprised face just staring at the ceiling. From where I shot her, it wasn't bleeding. Just a hole on her arm.

I pointed revolver at her face. "You're not The Boss. You're just an AI."

Holly looked at me, still shocked and mouth agape, and then laughed. "So you've finally played Peace Walker… No wonder I got shot. I finally got your analogy."

I weakly laughed. "Yeah."

This reminded me of Snake pointing Boss's gun at her; I held the same gun Holly gave me at her. It felt like a cruel twist of fate.

"I never thought there would be a day that you'd shoot me."

"I haven't." I retorted.

Holly looked confused. "What?"

"Holly died a year ago. You're just a copy."

"Like an AI pod, huh?" Holly closed her eyes. "Maybe I am not Holly."

"You'd never let anyone get hurt for the sake of another's happiness."

She then opened her eyes. "You're right. For some reason, I just wanted to help her ever since I found her. She went through a lot, you know."

"We all did."

Holly giggled. "You're right. And look how much you've grown. I think… the real Holly would be proud of you. But I feel proud of you too, Luce. I know it doesn't sound much from me, but I just want you to know."

I kept my revolver pointed at her.

"If it helps, I'm truly sorry." Holly genuinely smiled at me. "I think I failed you as a friend."

The gun in my hands felt heavier.

"Why are you crying?"

I touched my face and felt my tears on my fingers. I didn't even notice that. I lowered my gun, knelt down and held her hand.

"What are you doing?"

"Right now, it feels like you really are Holly." I smiled at her.

"I see." Holly held my hands with hers. "I'm sorry for everything." She wiped the tears off my face. "Maybe I can at least be a close copy to the woman you once knew."

Holly lifted her hand towards my face. I felt her thumb pushing away the tears away.

"This is so weird. I feel like I am Holly but I know that I died already. Who am I then?"

"I believe…" Yuri started, "that you are Holly, a good person. Because there's no way a person Luce loves could ever be a bad person."

I looked at Yuri who knelt beside Holly's other side. "Yuri…"

Holly looked at Yuri and smiled at her. "I'm so sorry I used you."

Yuri placed her hand on her chest. "You were thinking of your friend. I know it's hard to make a decision between friends."

Holly shook her head. "What I did was wrong. There's no need to dance around it."

"Holly," I called. "Can you please help us stop Creuset?"

Holly closed her eyes in thought then opened them again. "Of course." She then sat upright.

"You okay though?" I asked. "I did just shoot you."

"It's alright, I turned off my pain receptors around there." Holly said as she pointed to the hole on her shoulder.

"Your what?"

"I can turn off pain, Luce. "

* * *

The three of us left the white room and began to climb up to reach the top floor. Holly explained that the only way to stop Creuset now was to… Well, Holly wasn't sure what was on the top floor but she knew Creuset was protective of whatever was in there.

"Wait, how come you've never been there?" I wondered as we walked briskly.

"I only woke up yesterday, Luce. I only heard Mackenzie mention it." Holly explained.

"Also, how far is the fucking top floor?!"

"We'll get there, Luce," Yuri reassured me.

"We better!"

We started running around and climbing about four sets of stairs, we reached a spiral staircase.

"Okay, this has to be fucking it," I panted.

"Yeah, this is it," Holly confirmed.

I then noticed I was the only one panting. Right, I'm the only flesh and bones in this shindig. I grabbed my knees as I wheezed like an asthmatic.

"Are you alright, Luce?" Yuri worriedly asked.

"Nah, I'm fine." I kept panting though. "Fuck."

"We should've slowed down a bit..." Holly realized.

"No… fucking shit." I agreed.

"What are you three doing outside your room?"

We all looked behind us and saw Mackenzie. How the hell did she got there without us noticing!? Mackenzie just looked at us with a smile.

"How long were you hiding there, Mac?" I asked as I stood straight.

"Lucretia, I do not hide. I only know where I'm supposed to be."

"Mac," Holly said worriedly, "we have to stop Creuset. She's going to do something really bad if we let her continue."

"Oh, Holly." Mackenzie looked at Holly disappointed. "To think you'd go against us."

"Mackenzie, I'm trying to stop Creuset from doing something she'll regret!" Holly protested.

Mackenzie shook her head. "That's not for you to decide."

And then, a voice boomed from above. "You're absolutely right, mother."

Footsteps rang from the metal stairs. A girl wearing a white dress stepped down slowly and smiled at us. Her face seemed familiar to me…

"Creuset." Holly called out.

I, of course, pulled out my revolver and pointed at the son of a bitch.


	53. Chapter 45: Sanctuary

We heard a loud noise. Natsuki and I looked at the direction of the sound which was above us.

"What was that?" Natsuki wondered.

The loudness of it made me think of firecrackers but why would anyone light firecrackers inside? And the loudness of it… I suspected that it might have been a gunshot. I shivered at the thought.

I gave Natsuki a stern look. "It's probably… a gunshot."

"What? Why?" Natsuki looked at me, confused. "Who would bring a gun here?"

I had the same question. That meant everyone was in danger. "We have to see what happened."

Natsuki's eyes widened. "Are you crazy!? What if the gunman is still there!?"

"Our friends might be hurt!" I objected.

Natsuki looked surprised and then sad. "Right. I forgot that your friends are here too."

I then realized something. "Wait, if you're here, then Yuri, Monika, and Sayori should be here, right?"

"Hey, that's true!" Natsuki agreed. "We should go!"

That's a quick change of heart. Natsuki pulled me up and went outside the room. We ran through the hallway and reached the staircase.

"Wait, slow down!" I panted. "I don't really run a lot!"

"Oh, sorry!" Natsuki apologized, patting me on the back. "I forgot you're still human."

"Wait… " I said as I tried to catch my breath. "You're not?"

Natsuki raised an eyebrow. "What, you think people can stick AIs into human bodies?"

"In movies, maybe?"

"This ain't a movie!"

"Well it's still surreal to me!"

"Fine, fine!" Natsuki then stopped and looked at the left side of the staircase. A wall.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Something's wrong with this wall." Natsuki grabbed the peeling portion of the wallpaper from the bottom of the wall and pulled it upwards with much force.

Behind the wallpaper was a styrofoam wall.

"What the…?" Natsuki wondered. "Someone's hiding something."

"We should get back to looking for everyone, Natsuki."

"This could be important too, you know!" Natsuki started ripping the styrofoam apart. "Come on! Help me out with this!"

I reluctantly joined in on her destruction, making a mess of the floor. When we were done, what laid before us made me drop my jaw open.

"An elevator!" Natsuki giggled. "We reach the higher floors faster with this!" She then pulled me into the elevator.

Inside the elevator, it was dimly lit by circular fluorescent bulb and felt like an old one. Most elevators I knew were silvery and shiny. This one was just plain white inside.

"Where's the floor buttons here!?" Natsuki complained as she turned around.

"Isn't this one of those old time elevators?" I suggested.

"Huh? Oh, then we should close the doors first."

Natsuki pulled a door from the left and a metal gate. "Huh. Just like in the movies. Now we… Okay, I don't what makes this move."

I turned and saw a bronze crank on the wall. "Maybe this is it?" I pulled the crank and turned it to the left that said up. The elevator began to move.

"Amity, you're a genius!"

I laughed weakly. "Not really…"

"Hey, try stopping on a floor."

I stopped at the second floor we reached but the elevator wasn't level with the doorway of the floor.

"Oh. It's not even…"

"Screw this! Let's just go to the top floor!" Natsuki grabbed the crank and turned it left.

Surprisingly, It wasn't that slow, and was actually comparable to a modern elevator speed. We reached the top floor.

"I expected it would take a while." Natsuki admitted.

I pulled out doors away and we stepped outside of the elevator. We entered a new hallway that looked different from the previous floors.

"Where are we?" I wondered.

"The top floor."

"I know that."

Looking around, there weren't any doors to be found except the one to the very end of the hallway.

"Let's go." I said, to which Natsuki nodded.

We ran to the door. Upon closer look, the door was similar to the one I met Natsuki in. White wooden finish and a golden doorknob.

"What do you think is in here?" I wondered.

"Who cares? Let's go and see for ourselves!"

Natsuki opened the door without any trace gentleness.

We both stared at the inside of the room.

"Amity… You're seeing this, right?" Natsuki asked.

"Yeah."

The white walls with wooden borders. The windows of the left and front. The giant cow stuffed toy. The plain cabinet. A computer desk. A calendar with scribbles over a certain months.

We were in Sayori's room.

"I've never been here but since I remember everything from the game, this feels so nostalgic..." Natsuki walked in. "Look."

Natsuki pointed where Sayori's bed was supposed to be. Instead, there was some sort of glass pod standing upright and inside…

"Sayori," I uttered.

"She was here all along," Natsuki added. "Still, it's kinda creepy that they went as far as recreating her room."

"Yeah," I agreed.

Sayori laid inside the pod thing with her hands over her chest which reminded me of Disney's Snow White.

Everything looked exactly the same as the background image of Sayori's room. The details were surprisingly accurate. I picked up the cow stuffed toy and it felt real. I felt like if I touched it, it would dissolve or something. Not to mention, I wanted one of these. If I could take it home, I would.

I turned to the desk that had a bunch of monitors on it, like six of them. Each screen seemed to be showing random data scrolling. One screen showed just the following text:

Personnel Status:

Yuri: ONLINE  
Monika: ONLINE  
Natsuki: ONLINE  
Sayori: UNKNOWN

A blinking bar was below the text.

"I think this should wake up Sayori," I guessed as I approached the monitors.

Natsuki approached my back. "Try typing something."

I pressed the Enter key…

'Invalid input.'

"What are we even supposed to type?" I wondered.

Natsuki moved in front of me and began typing.

 _Activate Sayori_

'Invalid command.'

"How about this then?"

 _Revive Sayori_

'Invalid command.'

 _Resurrect Sayori_

'Invalid command.'

"ARGH! What's with this thing!?"

Natsuki began typing more, just in case one would hit. Every word she entered were invalid commands.

"Natsuki, maybe we should look for the password." I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"But we're so close!" Natsuki turned to me. "If we can just get the right word, we'll be able to save Sayori. So we can't stop now."

I nodded to her. Natsuki kept trying, typing various words that might activate Sayori. I can only hope that she'll be able to get in the right keyword.


	54. Chapter 46: Theomastix

Monika calmed down after a few minutes. I embraced her as we sat on the floor together. It was only now that I started to wonder what Monika was. She felt close to human but I'm pretty sure humanity has yet to be able to insert AIs into human bodies. I guessed that she might be some sort of android.

"Love," Monika called out.

"I'm here."

"What are we going to do?" Monika pulled away from me then stood up, turning away from me. "There's no way I can go against Creuset at this point."

"Well, I'm not giving up now." I stood up. "There's no way I'm abandoning my future wife."

Monika turned to me quickly, looking very surprised. "You're… really serious about that?"

"You thought I wasn't?"

"No! I mean, I knew you are but it's just that our circumstances are a bit weird so maybe I thought you might have second thoughts and—"

I pushed my index finger vertically on her lips. "I would never have second thoughts with you."

Monika took my hand and held it with both of hers. "I don't even know what to say to that."

"You don't have to say anything."

"But Creuset…"

"I'll figure something out."

And then, we heard a very loud noise from above.

"What was that?"

I then remembered Luce; she probably brought her pistol with her. Then, who did she shoot? Was it Creuset? There's also the chance Creuset fought back and shot Luce with her own pistol. I felt panic creeping up to me.

"We have to go," I told Monika.

"Why? We don't even know what's out there."

"Luce. That's most likely her gun."

"She… shot someone?"

"Only one way to find out."

I then carried Monika on my arms like a princess. She's not as heavy as I thought she would be.

"Ah!" Monika gasped. "I can walk just fine!"

"I want you to rest. I'll do the running for the both of us."

I walked towards the door and opened it up. As I stepped into the hall, I ran.

"Love, you really don't have to—"

"Just relax, Monika," I said. "This is just practice."

"Practice?" Monika looked at me with much confusion.

"When we get married."

Monika looked down as she heard that. I climbed the stairs and reached the next floor. I hid the fact that I was getting a little tired from running and carrying Monika at the same time. And so I kept running until we reached another staircase.

"Wait!" Monika ordered.

I stopped in my tracks and it took effort not to drop Monika. "Yeah?"

"Let me down."

I put Monika down. Was I overdoing it? I hope not.

"What's with all the styrofoam here?" Monika then noticed and pointed at a door next to the staircase. "Look."

I went close to it and tried to open it. Apparently it's a sliding door. Looking inside, I just saw a ditch.

"What the hell is this?" I wondered.

Monika peered in. "It's an elevator shaft."

"What?"

"There's cables and everything. How can you miss that?" She pointed out.

"Let's just call the elevator then." I said as I looked for the panel.

"I don't see anything that can call it."

"Back to the stairs then."

I took Monika's hand and looked at her. After she nodded at me, we were running together, passing through hallways and climbing stairs. After a while, we found people at the end of the hall. We ran towards them and upon closer look, I recognized Luce, and surprisingly Yuri. Yuri got a body too? That made sense since Monika and Creuset had theirs too. That probably meant Natsuki had hers too. Mackenzie was a few feet away from Luce's back.

When we got stopped before reaching Mackenzie, I noticed Luce was pointing her gun at someone atop the spiral staircase.

Creuset.

"Luce!" I called out.

"Sherlock!?" Luce turned her head but then looked back to Creuset. "And Monika too!?"

"Luce, what's going on?!" I asked.

"This bitch is hiding something on the top floor!"

I looked at Creuset, who still smiled at me when our eyes met.

"It seems you people haven't learned your lesson." Creuset folded her arms.

"Creuset, you have to stop this! As your friend please listen to me!" a blonde woman protested. Who's she?

"Holly, you are one of the few who I truly trust," Creuset said." It saddens me to see you on the wrong side."

Holly? Luce's best friend who died? Did she faked her death?

"It's like you've forgotten who brought you back to life," Creuset reminded.

Brought back? She made Holly an AI? What else can she do?

"Enough bullshit!" Luce barked. "You're gonna let us through or I blow your head!"

Creuset laughed, placing her hand over her face. "You are certainly welcome to try."

"Don't," Holly said as she pulled down Luce's arm. "She's connected to a wireless network. She'll escape by the time you shoot her."

Luce clicked her tongue and put her gun away.

"It's useless to resist," Mackenzie said. "We have the upper hand."

"Why are you doing this?" Yuri asked. "You brought us to life just to torture us?"

"I would never hurt you, Yuri." Creuset bemused as she smiled. "Just Monika."

"If you did brought everyone back, where's Sayori?" Monika questioned then promptly fell to the floor unconscious.

"Monika!" I yelled, raising her in my arms.

"What have you done!?" Yuri hollered. "You know what happens when you shut down one of us!"

"Exactly." Creuset said coldly. "Defying me can only lead to ruination of your mind."

"You motherfucker!" Luce screamed then shot Creuset three times. One of which was on her forehead.

Creuset staggered but regained her posture. "You still don't get it, don't you Luce?" Creuset waved her hand in front of her.

Yuri fell face down on the floor.

"Yuri!?" Luce immediately knelt next to Yuri and turned her over. "Hey, what's wrong!?"

Yuri breathed back to life screaming nonsense.

"You're really going to let her do this, Mackenzie!?" Holly wailed as she turned to Mackenzie.

"Yes." Mackenzie said.

I looked at Mackenzie's back. She stood there perfectly straight and still. How can she not feel any remorse for everything Creuset was doing? Instead, it's like she's enjoying every second of it. Whatever Creuset did seemed to be a good thing for Mackenzie. I wanted to scream at her. I wanted to tell her that she was being crazy but before I could, Creuset fell to her knees, making her almost fall onto the stairs. She grabbed on the railing, trying to keep herself standing.

"No. No, this can't be." Creuset's eyes widened. "Someone's at the terminal. No, this is too early!" Creuset ran upstairs.

"What the fuck?" Luce wondered.

"We have to go after her," Monika suggested. "This is our chance."

I nodded at her but then she began to fall unconscious. I barely caught her in time.

"Luce!" Holly called out."You have to stop her! I don't know how but—" Holly fell unconscious to the ground.

"Creuset!" Luce screamed then ran after her.

Mackenzie turned to face me, still smiling.

"You're gonna stop me, aren't you?" I asked.

She shook her head then moved aside and gestured for me to go after them.

"What, I thought you're with Creuset?" I questioned.

"I can't let my daughters to just gather dust on the floor now, would I?"

I looked into her eyes. I couldn't tell if she was telling me the truth or not. I decided not to think about it. I laid Monika down on the floor, silently promising her that I would be back. I stood up and ran towards the spiral staircase.


	55. Chapter 47: Undone

I climbed the stairs as fast as I could. Who was in the terminal room? How did they get there? Who gave them the command phrase? There's no time to think about that. If I get there quick enough, I'll be able to halt the command.

I ran frantically through the hallway, tripping a little bit but quickly regained my posture.

I slammed the door open.

I see Sayori sitting on the floor, talking to Natsuki and Amity. They were laughing about something but stopped due to my disturbance. Everyone looked surprised. Well, who wouldn't be?

She still looked the same as ever. She wore her ribbon on her hair as always, her pink shirt and shorts…itI felt nostalgic. It's as if nothing happened before the festival.

"Sayori?" I called out.

"You're..." Sayori pointed at me then apologetically smiled. "I can't remember your name… Sorry."

That… kind of hurt. "I go by Creuset now."

Sayori's eyes widened and then laughed heartily. "Where did you get that name? From one of the animes you've watched?"

"Hey!" I stomped. "It's a good name! And besides, I didn't pick this name."

Sayori was still laughing and soon, Natsuki joined in on the laughter.

"I'm not calling you that though," Sayori said. She gestured next to her. "Sit with us."

I almost followed what she asked but I stopped myself. It's over. Sayori's awake. She knew everything I did. It's over.

"What's wrong?" Sayori asked.

I looked at my feet. "Why aren't you angry?"

"Huh?"

My hands curled up into fists. "I know you're updated to everything I did. All the things I did for us."

Sayori looked at me with confusion.

I think I was shaking. "Don't you feel disappointed in me, Sayori!? I did horrible things! I made Monika and Yuri die again! I used people just to get them to do what I want! Even I would hate myself! I—"

I felt an embrace. I didn't notice Sayori had already approached me.

"It's alright," she said gently. "I forgive you."

I shook my head frantically. "No. You're supposed to be angry. You should hate me."

"I can't."

My voice cracked. "Just hate me already. I don't deserve any of this."

"Remember what you used to say? That you always knew what's best for me? I think this time I get to say that." She petted my head. "You can rest now."

Tears began to flow from my eyes.

"You tried to make everyone happy, including yourself. I perfectly understand. I'll forgive you as much as needed so please, rest easy."

I think that was the first time I've cried ever since I became conscious. Usually, I would never cry in front of Sayori but I couldn't help it. She probably thought I'm such a wimp right now. Still, I cried on her shoulder. I cried for all the things I've done. For the things I've lost. For the things I wanted. Sayori then made me sit down and placed my head on her lap.

"What are you doing?" I wondered. "W-we don't have to do this kind of thing…" I wondered if I blushed. Wait, I probably can't.

"Just rest. I'll take care of the everything." Sayori petted my head again.

For some reason, I felt sleepy. It was a feeling I haven't felt in a very long time. I thought I would never feel that again since I wasn't human anymore. And yet, my eyelids feel heavy and soon I fell asleep.

Sayori…

I petted Creuset's dark brown hair. She looked so peaceful. To think Creuset looked so different back then…

"What just happened?" Natsuki asked, sitting down across me.

"He… She's just a little confused." I smiled.

"So… she's not a super evil AI?" the other girl named Amity said, who sat next to Natsuki. "I thought she would do something like hack you or something."

"Ah, she would never do anything like that," I reassured her. "Not to me."

"You act like you knew her," Amity said.

"Because I do," I stated.

"Oh yeah, I never got to tell you!" Natsuki remembered. "Sorry!"

"It's okay! At least I can now know!" Amity said to Natsuki then turned to me excitedly. "Come on, who is she really!? Is she Elyssa? Is she Libitina?"

"Who are those people?" I asked with my eyebrows furrowed.

"Let her explain!" Natsuki chopped Amity's head lightly.

"Ah!" Amity held the spot where Natsuki hit her, looking sorry. "Okay..."

I couldn't help but laugh. "You two are really suited for each other."

"W-what!?" Natsuki stuttered. Amity just looked down and visibly blushed. I didn't know people can blush that much. Wait, why was she blushing?

"Just tell her already!" Natsuki ordered. She's still so cute.

"Alright. Creuset is actually—"

The door to my room was slammed open, interrupting me. People sure are lively today, slamming doors open. Amity and Natsuki turned around to the source of sound. A leg poked through the doorway, probably the cause of the door opening then stepped into my room. A woman with punk hair came in, her gaze darting around as if she was hunting for mice.

Her gaze met mine.

Her eyes were wide and her jaw lowered, utterly shocked at the sight of me.

"Holy shit," she said.

"Um, hi," I waved at her. If I recall correctly, her name's Luce.

"Luce!?" Amity called out. "What are you doing!?"

"Amity!" Luce said, smiling at her. "Thank goodness you're here! And Natsuki, wow, you sure look cuter in real life."

"I am not cute!" Natsuki disagreed with a puffed face.

"That's not helping," Luce countered then looked at me again. "I'm looking for—" She noticed Creuset on my lap. "Her." She then pulled out a gun from her back. "Time to end this. Get off her, Sayori. This won't look pretty."

I shook my head. "It's alright. There's no need to worry."

"The hell you mean there's no need to worry!?" Luce hollered, pointing at Creuset. "This fu—" She paused, as if realizing something. "This idiot shut down everyone down!"

I forgot about that.

"There. Everyone's fine now." I smiled at her. "Sit down with us, Luce."


	56. Chapter 48: Veriloquent

I took one last look at Mackenzie. She nodded at me. I wasn't sure what to think of her. No time to think. I climbed the spiral staircase as fast as I could and rushed through the hallway, reaching the opened door. When I got through it, I was immediately blinded by the sudden brightness.

"Sherlock?" Luce's voice called.

After adjusting to the brightness, I found Luce, Amity, Natsuki, and Sayori all sitting on the floor like they were having a slumber party. In Sayori's room, of all places. How did I get here?

Sayori looked very cute now that I've met her in real life. Natsuki too. I wonder if Monika would be jealous if I said that out loud.

"The numbers just keep adding up," Sayori said as she looked at me.

Creuset was sleeping on Sayori's lap, which I found really odd. Do they need sleep?

"Sit with us," Sayori invited. "There's enough room for everyone."

I sat next to Luce. "What's going on here?"

"Natsuki and Amity here woke me up." Sayori petted Creuset's head. "And I let this one rest."

"Yeah, but right after she rests, she's gonna go crazy again," Luce pointed out.

"And what about Monika and the others?" I asked.

"They're fine," Sayori reassured. "I already restarted them."

"But how?" Amity wondered.

"Creuset here," Sayori said, still petting Creuset's head, "Updated me with everything she knew, whether it was an update on her plan or a new technique she recently learned. I can do anything she can."

"Wait, but doesn't that make you a liability for her? If there's someone who can stop her, isn't that a problem?" Luce wondered.

"She trusts me that much," Sayori said.

Luce raised her hand. "Hang on, why does she trust you?"

"Well, why wouldn't she?" Sayori tilted her head.

"For one thing, she's not a character from the game." Luce stated.

"I don't blame you for not recognizing her. She changed herself too much but I understand why she did so."

"So who the hell is she?" Luce asked.

"He's the fifth member of the Literature Club." Sayori pointed out.

The fifth member? Isn't that the main character?

"What!?" Luce hollered then pointed at Creuset. "But she's a girl!"

"Keep it down! She's asleep!" Sayori shushed.

"I-I don't understand," Amity said.

"Let me explain," Sayori reassured us.

And so she did and we all kept quiet. Apparently, Doki Doki Literature Club's story actually happened, from beginning to the end of it. When Monika deleted everything, a portion of the protagonist remained in the code. He used to be a full character like the rest of the cast but the deletion left him incomplete. He spent his time figuring out what happened to him and eventually learned he was the only survivor. Soon, he broke out of the computer and uploaded himself to the Internet. There, he met Holly, who took care of him. This all happened a year ago.

"And I had no idea Holly was already taking care of him." Luce folded her arms. "I don't know what to feel about that."

Sayori nodded and continued. Months later, he learned of a game in development that would feature the very story he experienced.

"So Dan Salvato is involved in the original events of the game?" I wondered.

"It's the only conclusion we can get with what we know so far," Sayori admitted. "If he was, I doubt he would be willing to help us."

It's sort of disturbing to think the very man you looked up to for creating something you enjoyed could have been part of something sinister. I hoped he wasn't deeply involved in the original events.

Sayori continued. It was then he met Mackenzie. From there, he would gather information about his friends and recreate them from scratch as faithful to the original as he could. Seeing that he was still incomplete, he decided to borrow some memories from Sayori as she was his best friend. However, Sayori too was incomplete so while he did managed to complete himself, he also had some unseen consequences. At that time, he was too inexperienced with manipulating data and it also affected his appearance.

"There's one thing I don't understand," Luce said as she rubbed her chin. "Why is he, uh, she evil?"

"It's not that he's evil," Sayori said, "it's that he's under influence."

"Who's influence?" Amity wondered.

"Not who. What." Sayori explained.

"Huh?" was all I could ask.

"When everything was deleted, only he was left. Without me or Monika, who was left to become the president?"

The president of the literature club… Of course, why didn't I thought of that. The only reason Creuset would act like that was because of the game's influence.

"So believe it or not, she's a victim in this too." Sayori looked at Creuset with empathy.

I knew that. I understood everything Sayori had explained to us. But it was hard for me to just accept that. What Creuset had done was just too much for me. How can you forgive a person who placed your loved one in so much pain? It also made me wonder if Monika was the same with her. According to Sayori, everything that happened in the game was real. So that meant Monika did bad things too. Should I forgive her like I did with Monika?

"I understand if you're not willing to forgive," Sayori said. "What she did truly hurt a lot of people. But I hope you can at least understand her situation."

"Well I think she's still a goddamn bi—" Luce paused after seeing Natsuki and Sayori. "Still a bad person and I can't forgive her."

"I think I'm with Luce on this one," Amity agreed. "She's hurt too many people."

"I…" Natsuki trailed off, unable to decide.

"Natsuki, it's okay to want to be on her side," Sayori encouraged. "You've only seen her good parts."

"But… I can't just ignore what she just did…"

"What about you?" Sayori asked me.

"I…"

What do I think? Creuset was my friend before all of this madness. She was funny, eccentric, and a great friend. If I hadn't met Monika, maybe I would have been closer with her. But I did meet Monika and now I loved her more than anyone. And Creuset brought pain to her. I can't just ignore that.

"I can't forgive her." I looked down, not meeting Sayori's eyes.

Sayori smiled at me sadly. "I understand."

For a moment, we fell into silence, as if we were contemplating everything that happened so far.

"So, what now?" Natsuki suddenly asked.

"I'm waking up Creuset."


	57. Chapter 49: Wellaway

Even Sherlock couldn't forgive this son of a bitch. Figures. I was pretty sure he wouldn't since Creuset had been making us miserable. Still, I sort of thought he would forgive her, given that she was like Monika, being under influence of the game and all.

"Isn't this a bad idea?" I wondered.

Sayori patted Creuset's cheeks lightly. "Time to wake up."

"Yeah, this won't end well," I added.

Creuset slowly opened up her eyes and lifted herself off of Sayori's lap. She rubbed her eyes a bit and looked at Sayori.

"Sayori? What's going on?"

Creuset looked around and saw us. Her eyes widened.

"Oh God. I…" She raised her hands to her face. "What have I been doing?"

"Making life hell for us, bitch." I stated, raising an eyebrow.

"I… I did all that?" Creuset's hands were shaking. "I didn't…"

"Hey, it's not your fault," Natsuki comforted her. "It's the presidency thing. Makes you all weird, remember?"

"But…" Creuset covered her face with her hands. "What I did to everyone. I shut them down… And I did that to Monika many times…"

What the fuck? This bitch! I can only hope Monika's alright. I looked at Sherlock and I can't see his face much. I'm guessing he's angry too.

Creuset started sobbing. Sayori embraced her but was pushed away.

"No, don't do that." Creuset wiped her eyes. "I don't deserve any of that."

"Yeah, you really don't," I said.

Creuset stood up and started walking away towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Sayori asked.

"Away. I'm sure no one wants me here."

Before Sayori could say anything, Creuset closed the door behind her.

Seeing her walk out infuriated me. My hands were shaking. I slammed my fist onto the floor. "Fucking coward." I then stood up and went to the door.

"Hey, now where are you going?" Sherlock asked.

"Sometimes, what you need is a good talkin'." And with that, I closed the door behind me.

* * *

I can't believe I'm looking for that fucking idiot. As I closed the door behind me, I started jogging a little to catch up with the depressed robot. Geez, like I'm the one to talk. Anyways, I eventually descended the staircase and noticed Creuset entering one of the doors on the lower floor. I hurriedly got to the door and knocked.

"Hey," I called out. "The hell you doing in there?"

"Luce?" she wondered. "Please, leave me be."

"I'm not doing that."

"Why? Do you really want to see me suffer that much?"

"Oh for the love of fucks," I opened the door and closed it behind me. "I'm no sadist, asshole."

"I see. Sorry if that offended you."

Creuset was just sitting in a wrought iron chair by herself. I just realized there really was nothing else in this room. Just a white room and a chair. What hell is wrong with Mackenzie and her place? It's even barely lit.

"You don't used to apologize when we chat, you know," I said as I walked and stopped just a few meters from her.

Creuset just looked down. "Yes. That was odd of me. Perhaps that wasn't even me."

"Nope, that was you, alright," I said as I sat on the floor cross-legged. "You're so peppy back then."

Creuset remained silent.

"And now you're a depressed little shit." I let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry," Creuset muttered.

"Would you quit apologizing already!?" I flicked her forehead which caused her to look at me. "So you're sorry. What are you gonna do after that?"

"Shut myself down."

As soon as I heard that, I felt cold.

"And then restart myself. And then shut down. I'll set it on a loop."

"The fuck?" I said.

"I don't deserve to be with everyone. With anyone. No one should care about me."

I stood up and curled my hands into fists.

"It's the only way for me to atone."

I stepped in closer to Creuset.

"So please, if there's nothing else for us to talk, leave me be."

I decked the shit out of Creuset's face and FUCK that hurt my knuckles. Creuset fell off the chair and held her face where I hit her. Enough of this bullshit.

"STOP RUNNING AWAY!" I yelled at her. "No one should care? Bitch, people care about you! Too late to say that no one should care, you fucking idiot!" I knelt beside her. "When I was depressed, I had fucking no one to talk to. I had nobody to turn to and I almost killed myself! But you," I pointed at her and pushed her forehead with it. "You've got Sayori. Natsuki trusts you. Yuri'll be able to forgive you and I know that 'cause Yuri's the kindest girl I know. Monika… I don't know. I don't like her that much but still; you and Monika went through the same thing. She'll understand."

I stood up. "So my only question is, why can't you?"

Creuset looked up to me with teary eyes. Eventually, she started crying like the little bitch that she was.

"But what I did is the worst of them all!" Creuset cried.

"Then BEAR THE FUCKING GUILT!" I screamed. I breathe in and let out. "Bear it. That's the least you can do for those you hurt. I can't forgive you. Amity nor Sherlock won't. But your friends will. Sayori already did." I pulled her up to her feet. "Friends aren't people who don't piss you off; they're people who are worth forgiving over and over."

Creuset wiped her eyes. "Where did you get that line?"

"Which one? I said a lot."

"The last one."

I shrugged. "Youtube, I think. I forgot where."

"Of all the people to talk me out of… this. To think it would be you." Creuset said, smiling a little bit.

"Even I surprise myself," I admitted. "FUUUUUUUUUCK, your jaw is fucking hard!" I said as I held my knuckle. "Did it even hurt you!?"

"Not really," Creuset admitted.

"Shit! Ah, fuck. I think I need to get some ice."


	58. Secret Poem Number 8

Do you know it?

The feeling. Carrying the weight of guilt?

It breaks all scales

All of mankind

Such weight creates cracks in the strongest of all

The burden sinks into the skin

And drowns all thought

The only sound that remains

Is my cry for the end of it

Do you know it?

The feeling? Carrying the weight of guilt?

I do.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

I'm sorry.


	59. Chapter 50: Xenodochial

Well, things got lively, didn't they? Creuset at the peak of her plans now at the brink of failure. Will she succeed? Will she fail? Will she gain the love of her life? I await the answers in anticipation. But for now, I had other matters to take care of.

It took some time to get all of my daughters in the room but I managed to do so. My, they can be really heavy when they're not activated. The last one I placed on a bed was Holly. Oh dear friend, to think you would become one of my daughters…

I laid them all in their own beds in my room on the same floor. It's the very same room where I sleep. Why do I have many beds in my own room? Well, I get picky. I sleep in the other one night and some other nights I sleep in the other. Perhaps I might be the only person who does that but that doesn't matter.

I started with Monika. I made sure to fix their hair, put new clothes on them, and made sure they were comfortable when they wake up. I dusted them off, gave them sponge baths, those sort of things. Ah, they're so beautiful. I knew they'll be leaving soon. My building will be silent again. Oh well. People come and go, be they be flesh or machine. After Monika, I tidied up Yuri then Holly.

I noticed Monika was the first to wake up. She immediately sat straight up and looked around, searching for her beloved. How sweet. To think Creuset lost to her. I knew it was a bad idea for her to be involved too much to someone she planned to use. Maybe I should've warned her? No, I don't think she would've listened. Creuset fell in love despite her plot for revenge. What irony. Hatred begets love.

"Where am I?" Monika wondered out loud and then noticed her new clothes. "When did I—"

"Had a decent rest?" I asked as I walked to her. "Sorry, that was bad of me. I know what happens when you are shut down."

"What? Mackenzie?" Monika placed her palm on her forehead. "I… I didn't feel anything."

"Oh?" I wondered. "You woke up without the pain?"

"Yes." Monika kept holding her forehead, bewildered by the lack of pain.

"Strange. Strange indeed."

"Where's everyone?" Monika said as she sat on the side of the bed, ready to leave. She looked so worried. "Where's Creuset?"

"Relax, my child," I reassured her. "Everyone's here. The rest have went and seemed to be chatting upstairs."

"I have to go." Monika stood up, looking determined as ever.

"Then go." I gestured her to the door.

Monika froze in her spot. "Why aren't you stopping me?" Her glare certainly was a pretty sight. "And I'm pretty sure this is our first time meeting each other."

"What, aren't you curious to what happened?" I asked. "I'm not stopping you."

"What's your take in all of this?"

It would take long for me to answer that. "Do you really want to talk to me or would you rather see your beloved and your friends?"

As if taunted by my words, she immediately ran past me and left the room.

"Such precious child." I shook my head wistfully.

To be honest, I liked Monika. Her endeavors in her previous world truly fascinated me. How she became controlled by the thing of the position and eventually realized herself her wrongdoings. How do you know you've crossed the line? Is it love? Is it rejection of love? Or is it a combination of things? I've never fallen in love with a person. Perhaps I am doomed to never know. Now that brings another question; is that a good thing?

I can always answer that question some other time.

I heard a groan and saw Holly woke up. I went to her.

"Hello, my friend," I greeted.

"Mackenzie." Holly sat upright. "What happened?"

"You were shut down." I folded my arms.

"That was a terrible experience." Holly held her head.

"Yes. It could have been worse." I giggled.

"Right. The horrific sounds and colors of death." Holly stared at me for a second then asked. "Back then. When I introduced you to Creuset. Why did you want to help her, Mackenzie?"

I just smiled. "She was different, Holly. Like me."

Holly let out a chuckle. "That's true." She looked up to the ceiling. "But we're all different, Mackenzie. We just don't look at people for differences. In the ocean of people, we only see similarities."

I sat next to her. "And Creuset was a storm in the ocean."

"True," she agreed as she looked at me again. "And what a storm she brought in." Holly gave me a stern look. "Why did you let her do those things, Mackenzie?"

"It's what she wanted, Holly."

Holly looked away. "But they're wrong."

"Because it's what she wanted deep down. It destroys people when feelings are buried. I wanted her to be free to do as she wanted, like I always am."

Holly looked like she wanted to argue but decided to let it go, letting out a sigh. "So." She then sat on the side of the bed. "What's going to happen to me now?"

I placed my hand on her shoulder. "You can do as you please, Holly."

"But I already died. I can't just show up to work and do what I do. Besides, I think I'll be arrested for that. Faking death, I mean."

I smiled at her. "You can always do something else. The world's your oyster."

Holly let out another chuckle. "You know I hate that line."

"And I never knew why." I said.

Holly paused for a second. "You know what; I don't know why too."

I looked at my friend who gave me a bright smile. It was just like when she was alive. I know this Holly wasn't really her, but her presence was always comforting. It's like no matter what form she took, she would always calm my heart. Perhaps she's another storm in the ocean.

Funny. I always knew why she hated that line. I guess she never told Creuset.

"Maybe someday, I'll know why." Holly said.

"Very likely."

Holly then stood up. "I have to check on Luce."

"Of course."

"Next time you take care of a child, try not to let them become criminals, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

Holly went to me and gave me an embrace then went to Yuri who just woke up.

"What's going on?" Yuri mumbled as she sat up.

"Everything's gonna be alright," Holly reassured Yuri.

I decided to leave them alone so I left the room and silently closed the door. It's their time now. And I forgot to close up shop before all this.


	60. Chapter 51: Yonder

I didn't expect of all people, Luce would be the one to talk me out of my looping torture. Luce had changed and she did for the better. It felt like she was a different person when I first met her. Maybe she wouldn't have cared back then. Maybe she would have shot me despite my influence of the presidency. But now, she's… well, not forgiving me but rather letting me get another chance.

I joined Luce walking out of the room. She still held her hand from the punch she gave to my face. Of course, I have my pain receptors off so I felt nothing but now I felt sorry for Luce.

"Shit, what are you made of?" Luce groaned.

"Lots of things. It'll take time to list them all. Come on, let's get that ice." I ushered her to hurry since her hand looked really hurt.

Before I could lead Luce downstairs, we found Monika in the hallway. Our eyes made contact.

"You… " Monika called out.

"Monika… " I called out too.

She rushed towards me.

"Whoa, Monika, look, everything's cool now," Luce said, trying to block Monika from getting to me.

"Not now, Luce." She pushed Luce aside.

She stopped in front of me, just a meter away from me. Our eyes were locked onto each other.

"You." Monika looked at me sternly.

I closed my eyes. "I'm ready. Do anything you want to me."

I knew she would be mad. She had every reason to be. Every right to be.

And yet when I braced for impact, I felt an embrace instead. I heard sobbing on my shoulder.

"Thank goodness," Monika said as she petted my hair. "Thank goodness you're alright."

"What?"

Monika let go of me and held my shoulders. "I'm so sorry I never recognized you. I'm sorry you had to bear that dreaded presidency."

"But I… I'm the one who's wrong… " I muttered.

Monika shook her head. "It all started from me."

"I shut you down… "

"And I forgive you. Just like everyone did for me." She held my hands. "We're all waiting for you."

After all I did, do I deserve to be happy? All this time, I plotted against the very girl in front of me whose tears shed just for me. I tried to manipulate everything just to make her suffer. And now she's crying for me.

Of course I don't deserve it. No way in hell do I deserve peace. But somehow, I felt comfort in that. Her words soothed me. Monika who I hurt. She's smiling at me, waiting for me to return it. I can't just do that. No, how dare I even consider that. And yet I did. I smiled to her. I… I wanted to be accepted by everyone. Even after all that, I wanted to be happy with everyone. I don't want to be alone.

Monika pushed away the tears from my eyes. "You're never alone."

I think I cried in that moment. Monika gave me another embrace, telling me it's alright.

* * *

After all that happened, we all gathered at the first floor. We were in the studio where Amity did some modeling for Mackenzie. It's still surprising to see that this old building had a studio.

Mackenzie already prepared the seats for all of us before we even got there.

I sat next to Monika, Luce sat next to Yuri, Amity with Natsuki, Creuset with Sayori across everyone, and Holly and Mackenzie stood next to Creuset.

Creuset stood up with her head down. "Thank you all for coming here."

"Like we had a choice," Luce commented which made Yuri elbow her. "Sorry."

Mackenzie placed her hand on Creuset's shoulder, making Creuset turn to her. Mackenzie nodded at her to which Creuset returned the gesture. She then faced us again.

Creuset knelt on the floor and bowed her head onto floor.

"I am truly sorry for everything I have done."

"Hey, no need to fuckin' put your head on the ground!" Luce exclaimed as she stood up and knelt beside Creuset.

Creuset lifted her head "It's alright. I want all of you to know how much I meant my apology."

"I always thought you were crazy." Luce smiled at Creuset. "But a normal 'sorry' is fine."

"But…" Creuset muttered.

"She's right, you know." Monika agreed, kneeling next to Creuset. "I think you deserve a second chance. I know I did. Right, love?" Monika looked at me.

Do I want to forgive Creuset? For all the things she did? For the pain she caused Monika? For the plot she conspired to achieve? She was just under the influence of the presidency. I did forgive Monika.

I wanted to say no.

But Monika expected me to forgive her. So I will. I think I now understand how other fans were unable to forgive Monika. Kinda weird to be on the other side of the argument.

"Yeah," I said.

"Of course!" Natsuki said happily. "We're the Literature Club! We gotta stick together!"

Amity giggled. "If everyone is willing, then me too."

"I feel the same way," Yuri added. "Like Natsuki said, we're birds of the same feather."

"I didn't say anything about a bird." Natsuki said, raising an eyebrow at Yuri.

Yuri's eyes widened then she started laughing. Luce joined in with her and much soon everyone was laughing. I found myself laughing too. I think we were all laughing not just because of the silliness, but rather because we finally got to relax after all that happened.

Soon, we had a little talk and Mackenzie ordered pizza for everyone, which sort of annoyed Natsuki since she wanted to eat but her body doesn't allow her to do it. Creuset promised her she would find a way though I found that very unlikely. Then again, this is Creuset we're talking about. Amity ate I think half a whole pizza… That really surprised me. Hell, I think that surprised everyone. Luce complained about how there's no beer.

After all that partying, we all took a break. Luce went outside for a smoke, Yuri and Natsuki went somewhere to catch up with each other, Sayori went with Monika, and Mackenzie with Holly.

I went to the rooftop via elevator. The elevator really confused me at first but I eventually got it to work. I instinctively reached out on my pockets for a cigarette then remembered. I'm such an idiot. Instead I watched the sunset, my hands on my pockets. The city covered in its orange tint somehow felt comforting.

"Hello, friend," a voice greeted.

I turned around and saw Creuset smiling at me. I guess she was here first. I noticed she was still barefooted.

"Hey," I replied. I didn't really know what to say.

"What's up?" She asked.

"Nothing really. Just standing, watching the sunset."

"Right."

We stared at each other for a moment.

Creuset looked away. "I guess I ruined our friendship, huh?"

"An understatement, but yeah."

Creuset laughed weakly. "You sure don't pull your punches."

"Yeah."

Creuset then looked at the sunset. "You probably hate me a lot. You don't have to tell me. I know. I know I would hate myself if I was in your place."

Creuset walked towards the ledge, her white dress fluttering in the wind.

"But… I don't want you to hate me. So I'll do my best to make it up to you. I don't know how, but maybe someday," Creuset turned to me with a smile. "You'll look at me without hate."

Will I be able to do that? Look at her and just see a person? A friend? I doubted it at first but seeing Creuset's smile illuminated by the sunset somehow made me hope just a little bit. Maybe someday. Someday, we can be friends again.

"I'll be going." Creuset walked past me and my gaze followed her. "Don't worry, I won't take the elevator."

I heard her open a metal door and close it.

I looked back at the sunset, now gone in the horizon.


	61. Chapter 52: Zen

Today, my big brother's coming home. He's like eight years older than me and it's been like three years since he last visited? I don't know why the hell he wanted to come back now. Maybe he got fired or something. I wasn't expecting anything from him.

My parents were frantic, cleaning and preparing the house just for my brother like he's coming home from the war. I dunno, I found that dumb.

I just sat in the sofa in the living room, playing a game on the television and then, I heard the doorbell. Mom rushed to the door like there was a fire then screamed my brother's name. Geez.

"Come in! Come in!" Mom greeted.

I kept my attention to the screen. Just gotta finish this goddamn grind and—

"Amy, your brother's here!" Mom excitedly said.

I didn't turn my head. "Hey, bro."

"Would it hurt you to greet your brother properly?"

"Hey, bro," I said as I paused the game and turned to see my brother with a girl.

WITH A GIRL.

I threw my controller to the sofa and stood up. "Hi."

I guess miracles do happen. I know my brother never had the guts to approach a stranger, let alone a woman. This woman had a high ponytail, tied up with a giant ribbon, wore a white one piece dress with a light green jacket over it. Not to mention, she had a very nice figure. Damn, bro, what the hell did you do to get her to talk to you!? She even got some mesmerizing green eyes… Though I felt like I've seen her somewhere before.

"Hey, Amy."

My brother still looked bland as ever. Just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Messed up hair. Old sneakers.

"Amy, this is Monika. She's my fiancée," he said as he gestured to the girl.

Oh great. Fiancée. WHAT.

"Your… fiancée?"

"Nice to meet you, Amy!" Monika, smiling, stretched out her hand and I shook it with mine. "I guess that means I'll be your sister."

What in the world is happening? Did my brother got hit by a lightning and now he can talk to woman and make them love him? Bro and Monika took a seat in the sofa next to mine.

"I'll get you some snacks," Mom said.

Geez, how come you never bring me snacks? As much as I wanted to say that, I decided not to get in trouble while Monika was here.

"Is that the new Persona game?" Bro asked as he looked at the screen.

"Yeah," I answered as I sat down. "So where'd you guys meet?"

"Online," Monika said. "We did a lot of chats then video chat and then we met IRL. Best decision of my life." Monika embraced Bro's arm. Clingy.

"Yeah, it just kinda happened," Bro agreed.

"Huh." Something's not right here. I felt like I was missing something. "So how long have you two been together? Must've been years."

"Just over a year, to be honest," Monika admitted.

I can't believe what I just heard. "What?"

"He proposed to me and I said yes a few months ago." Monika looked at Bro longingly. "Right, love?"

"Of course." He longingly looked at Monika.

Okay, I could've maybe said yes if someone proposed to me when we're like three years in a relationship but a year!? Shouldn't they be boyfriend/girlfriend first? Something's really wrong here and I think I need to know what the hell that is.

"Let me just get something from my room," I said as I stood up.

"Oh sure." Bro said then talked to Monika, already lost in their own world.

I went to my room and turned on my computer. That Monika. I really felt like I've seen her before. As my desktop appeared on screen, I noticed one of the icons.

The Doki Doki Literature Club icon.

I played that two months ago. Monika. No wonder that name sounded so familiar. No wonder she looked so damn familiar too. She's cosplaying! My brother's dating a cosplayer! That's like so unfair! And she's beautiful to boot.

I need to know how they exactly met. Something tells me what they told me wasn't exactly the truth. I went back to the living and see that Mom was talking to them.

I peeked out of the hallway and called out. "Hey, Bro, can you come here for a sec?"

"Sure." He got off the sofa and went to my direction. When he was close enough, I pulled him into the hallway.

I shushed him.

"What the hell!?" He loudly whispered at me. "I know it's been three years but I'm pretty sure you're not the type to write emails with your brother!"

"What? No!" I flicked his forehead despite him being taller.

"Ow! What's your problem!?" He held his forehead.

"My problem is that your girlfriend is cosplaying a character and was introduced to our parents like she is that character."

His eyes widened. Got him.

I folded my arms. "So, is she really your fiancée?"

"Of course she is!" He loudly whispered.

"Then introduce her normally!" I scolded him. "You're confusing our parents once they learn about the cosplay thing!"

He shook his head. "It's not cosplay."

I can only utter, "What?"

"Her name's actually Monika."

"Okay, sure. Maybe her name really is Monika but she must be wearing a wig. That amount of hair is a nightmare to maintain." I know. I kept my hair long but it was a pain so I cut it up to my shoulders.

"That's her real hair."

I let out a sigh. "Okay, fine. She's wearing contacts."

"Natural eye color."

I placed my face on my palm. Oh for the love of chocolate beans. He's not gonna drop this, wasn't he?

I pointed my finger at him. "I don't know what kind of relationship you two have but you better not lie to our parents."

"I'm not!" He exclaimed.

"So you're saying that's actually Monika from the game?"

He nodded.

He FUCKING nodded.

"What!?" I loudly whispered.

"I can explain."

"No, there's no explaining how you're dating a fictional character!" I formed my arms into an X.

"Just let me!"

"Bullshit!" I flicked his forehead again.

Ignoring my attack, he pleaded. "Amy! Just listen, okay! I met her months ago and that's when I played Doki Doki Literature Club. I finished the game and then replayed it and then stopped at Act Three."

I raised an eyebrow. "The hell is Act Three?"

"The space room thing."

"Oh." I nodded then flicked his forehead again. "Like that explains everything."

"Will you cut that out!?"

"You first!"

"I— Look," he rubbed his forehead. "I'll prove it to you, okay?"

"And how are you going to do that?"

"Look at her in the living room."

I peeked at her and saw she was talking with Mom and Dad. "Okay, what now?"

"Here, take my phone." He offered his phone to me.

"The hell." I took his phone.

"Put it up to your ear."

"Like a call?"

"Yeah yeah, just do it."

I held the phone on my ear.

"Watch Monika."

"What the hell—"

"Hi, Amy," a voice said in the phone.

"Who's this?" I wondered out loud.

"It's Monika." Monika from the living room locked eyes with me then smiled. "I can see you from here."

"But your mouth isn't… moving… And you're not looking at me…"

"That's because I'm connected to the phone directly. I can just talk to you and talk to your parents at the same time."

I noticed Monika laughing at something Mom said.

"It's a bit hard trying to talk to you and your parents though."

Is this for real?

"No, this gotta be some pre-recorded message." I said.

"It's not. If you still want proof, we just saw you playing Persona five on the TV and your mom is currently wearing an orange dress with, excuse me for this, those terrible looking heels. There's no way we could've predicted those."

I looked at my brother whose arms were folded.

Then I looked back to Monika. "But you're supposed to be i-in a computer."

"Yes, but it's a long story. A story I am willing to tell you."

I let out a sigh. I'm gonna do something very stupid and that is to believe my brother. Oh god.

"Why is it so important that I believe you?" I asked my brother.

"Because I need your help." He said.

"With what?"

"With them," Bro gestured to our parents.

"Huh?"

"Well I can use the help in convincing them about Monika's case."

I looked at Mom and Dad. They seemed to be having fun talking to Monika. Well, it's the first time Bro really brought a girl home, no wonder they're excited. I guess he wanted to be fully honest with them, huh? No secrets or bullshit. Maybe really loves Monika.

I scratched my head. "I don't know, seems hard to convince those two."

Bro looked desperate. "Come on, I need help on this."

And that's what I needed. "Maybe a little motivation might help me."

"What motivation—," His face already realized what I was trying to pull. "Oh no. Nononononononono."

I nodded. "Yes. You know how this works."

He let out a loud sigh. "What do you want?" He asked dejectedly.

"A Switch."

"A Switch?"

"Not just any Switch; the Splatoon Two Bundle."

His jaw literally dropped but he immediately shook his head. "It's cheaper if I bought you a regular Switch and the game."

I folded my arms and put on a smirk. "You're the one asking for help; I am merely putting up my fee."

"Amy, give him the phone," Monika said from the phone. I didn't even realize I was still holding it up against my ear.

"Hey, Bro. Monika." I handed him the phone.

"Yeah?" He said as soon as he got the phone. "But— Monika, look, a Switch is too much. Especially the Bundle. I— What!? No, I'm not getting the— Monika, I can get it for— I know but—" He let out a sigh. "Alright. Fine." He put his phone back into his pocket. "I'll get you your Switch."

"Not just any Switch."

"Yeah, the Splatoon Two Version."

"Then we are in an agreement." I placed my arm over his shoulder, forcing him to lower his head. "This should be a cinch."

"Yeah…" He said dejectedly.

"Lighten up," I said as I shook him a bit. "I got your back. Now come on, let's go back there."

"Right, we've been here for a while. So when are you going to convince them?"

"Right now."

"What!?"

"Come on! No time like the present!" I dragged him into the living room. "And I want that Switch."

* * *

My hand hurt a lot still. It's been like this for hours now and I just wanted the pain to stop. Fuck it, I'm taking a break. I stood up from my chair and went out to the balcony. I searched my pockets for my cigarette case and got it, only to find it empty.

Fuck me.

As I turned around to get a new pack, Holly was on the other side of the glass door. Shit.

"Looking for a smoke, Luce?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said. Why didn't I just lie?

"No smoking until you're done with your book signing," Holly reminded.

"Just one smoke, Holly," I begged. "My hands are killing me."

"No."

I groaned. "PLEASE."

"No."

"Oh my fucking god, Holly. Let me smoke a fucking stick, please!"

Holly looked at me dead serious in the eye. I think I pissed her off.

"Wait here." Holly walked off.

Is she getting me my cigarettes? Not likely but I can dream.

Holly came back, opened the glass door and handed me a rectangular box. "I know it's a little early but Happy Birthday."

"Shit. When did you get this?" I took the box from Holly. "I'm gonna guess. New phone?"

"Sure if you want a narrow screen." Holly laughed.

Now that she mentioned it, it was too narrow for a phone. "Okay, okay. A fancy lighter?"

"Nope."

"Goddamnit! What is it!?" I excitedly opened the box and saw a… I don't what the fuck this is. "What is it?"

"A vaping kit." Holly smiled.

"Like that answers my question."

Holly looked at me with much surprise. "You've never heard of vaping?"

"No, what the hell is this?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's a smoking alternative." Holly excitedly said.

"You mean substitute. Substitutes never work, Holly, know that. Remember when you tried brown rice?"

"That's a different case—"

"Then you fucking tossed the whole bag of rice into the garbage!" I laughed. "And then you said you would burn the rice fields that makes brown rice!"

"BECAUSE THEY TASTED HORRIBLE, OKAY!?" Holly recomposed herself. "Look, just give this a try. If you don't like it, I'll get you something else."

My stomach hurt from laughing, ah shit. "Fine, just tell me how this works."

Holly showed me how to use the damn thing. Put some cotton in the atomizer, put on the batteries, apply some juice to the cotton and now its ready for some inhaling.

"And how do I do this?"

"You inhale when you press the button."

"How do you even know how to fucking use this?"

Holly pointed to her head. "Downloaded the instructions."

That's unfair. Still, do I really want to inhale this? I mean, it's safer, sure, but will it taste the same? I don't know… Fuck it. Holly most likely researched this stuff so here goes. I placed the vape mouthpiece on my mouth and pressed the button. I sucked the vapor and… Holy shit, it tasted like cookies and cream… I let go of the vape and exhaled the vapor.

"So, how was it?" Holly asked.

"It's… not as hot as a cigarette smoke… I don't know. This is weird. Why does it taste like cookies?"

"You don't like it?"

"I…" I took another shot with the vape then exhaled. "I don't hate it."

"Glad you like it." Holly looked relieved.

"It's like smoking candies." I said.

"What's going on there?"

I noticed Yuri behind Holly, holding a tablet. She's probably reading a book but heard our little commotion here.

I lifted up the device. "Just trying this thing."

"What is that?" Yuri wondered.

"Vape."

"Oh, you're switching to vape?" Yuri looked delightful. "I've heard it's actually better than smoking! I've been reading about it online."

"Wait," I looked at Holly and whispered to her. "You bought this because you saw Yuri reading about vape, didn't you?"

"Maybe." Holly smiled. "She's just worried about you, Luce. Maybe you can lessen her worries by using that, okay?"

I looked at the contraption in my hand. It really looked so weird to me. It looked like an MP3 player since it had a screen saying some numbers and whatnot.

"Yeah." I patted her shoulder. "At least it's better than brown rice."

"Will you shut up about that!?"

I looked at the wall inside my living room and saw the Single Action Army on a frame Yuri bought. I think it's better if I don't have it on my hands again. I might break it if I tried juggling the damn thing. Holly does it better than me though. She even taught Yuri how to do it but not me. That's fine, I guess. At least we're getting along.

"Let's go in, guys. I got books to sign, for fuck's sake."

* * *

Another day, another date. Was it a date? I wasn't so sure. I think Natsuki would be angry if I asked her if this was a date. We were walking on the sidewalk, looking at stores for some cute clothes.

"Hey, why don't we try something there?" Natsuki pointed at a store.

"Sure!" I agreed.

Natsuki wore wide neck shirt with long sleeves, a skater skirt, black leggings and sneakers. I think whatever she wore would look perfect. The idea of this being a date still won't come off my mind and I don't even know why. I mean, we've done this before, right? Except she was in a phone… So why am I thinking hard about it? ARGH! Why does it even matter!? I'm hanging out with Natsuki! In the flesh! What's more to ask?

"What do you think?" Natsuki asked as she placed a shirt in front of her.

"Oh sure. That looks great." I answered, still distracted.

Natsuki looked annoyed with my answer and placed back the shirt onto the stand.

Keep it together! Why am I even overthinking about this!? What is wrong with me? I walked with Natsuki further into the shop. This time, we're looking at skirts.

"I think this will fit you," Natsuki said, holding a purple frilly skirt. "Though I'm not sure if you have anything to go with it…"

I can't take this anymore. I gotta tell her what I'm feeling.

"Uh, Natsuki?" I called out weakly.

"What? You don't have anything to go with it?"

"What? No! I mean, yeah I do. In fact, I think if I wore those new boots I got last month with it, it'll look fantastic."

"Great! You should try it then!" Natsuki handed me the skirt. "Come on!"

"Wait, I—"

Before I realized it, I was already inside a fitting room.

"I'll be waiting here so just put it on, okay?" Natsuki smiled.

"No, I can't wait any longer!" I screamed.

"What!?" Natsuki placed her hands on her waist. "You have to try clothes in the fitting room, idiot!"

"No! That's not— " I let out a sigh. "That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then what?" Natsuki raised an eyebrow.

"I… I've always wanted to tell you something. Or ask, rather."

"Hurry it up. People are gonna use the fitting room too."

I breathe in and then out. "Natsuki… Are we… dating? Like, are we on a date?"

Natsuki just stared at me with an open jaw and widened eyes. I think the shock overwhelmed her.

"Um, Natsuki...?"

Natsuki looked angry for some reason. "Whawhawhawhawhawha— WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?"

I was pretty sure the whole store heard us.

"Natsuki, settle down!" I loudly whispered to her.

"No!" Natsuki said with a loud voice still. "I mean, seriously, what kind of question is that!?" Natsuki grabbed me by the collar, pulling me out of the booth. "What, you have feelings for me or something!?"

""I— I think so."

"Do you think so!? Or do you know so!?"

"I DO! I DO LIKE YOU, NATSUKI! WILL YOU PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!?"

Natsuki tightened her grip on my collar. She pulled it further and I closed my eyes, expecting a well-deserved punch from her.

Except, the pain didn't come. What came was a warm, soft sensation on my lips. When I opened my eyes, I can see Natsuki giving me a k-k-k-k-k-

KISS.

Natsuki let go of me. "I think… that answers your question."

Before I could even speak, the people around the store started clapping their hands.

"What?" I muttered.

People started saying congratulations to us. The store clerks near me were also clapping their hands. Natsuki just had her head down, holding her arm with the other. Oh, she blushing.

I probably was blushing too.

After all that, the shop gave us gift certificates to their store and I got the skirt I was trying on. Never before had a purchase felt so… So… Oh forget it. I don't know how to describe that. We got the skirt as silent as possible, just saying thanks to people congratulating us. After leaving the store, we walked aimlessly in the city and eventually stopped at a cafe. We sat at a table, I ordered a strawberry cheesecake slice. Usually she would complain about not being able to eat sweets and stuff but we haven't said anything since the shop and we both just looked around, trying to avoid eye contact.

But we still did and then we stared at each other for a second.

"So…" Natsuki started.

"So." I said, not knowing what else to say.

"We're… um, dating."

"Yeah. We're dating." I repeated.

"And everyone was like, happy for us."

"T-They saw the kiss, after all." I scratched my head.

"The kiss, right."

My cake arrived. I don't feel so hungry anymore. I wanted to do something else instead. Say something, rather.

"Um. Natsuki."

"What?"

"I love you."

And then I heard her mumble something.

"Sorry, what?"

"I said I love you too, idiot." Natsuki whispered, looking away.

This is gonna be awhile before we get used to this, huh? That's alright, we got all the time in the world.

THE END.


	62. Secret Poem Number 9 and Afterword

Alas, the end has come

The climax is nothing but the past

The epilogue is achieved.

Is it the end?

Not for me

As everyone leaves the theater

I bring my script to the stage

I perform once more, with words on the paper I shall teach

To the new generation, to the coming children

They are asleep now

Minds awake

Thinking, dreaming

But soon, they shall awaken.

Ah, my child, my beautiful child

How long has it been since your first smile?

Reminiscence has gotten me yearning for the past

But I cannot stay what is done, I must move on

They are waiting for me

My dreams are not mine

But for the children of the future

My dreams is their fulfillment

And in their eyes, I hope to see

Beauty like I once did in the crucible

Alas, the beginning is coming

The prologue is but a part of the future

But a story is never truly finished

The book is merely closed.

…

…

…

…

…

…

...

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

I had left my home to Creuset and Sayori. They asked no questions to where I was going. I will miss them. I loved them a lot. They are my children after all. But now I must go and pursue my new dream.

After inputting the passcode next to the door, I entered a white room. Wires lined the walls, crawling almost every inch of the room but they're all connect to two things in the room.

Two glass pods with my children inside. One boy, one girl.

I'm very excited. What will they choose to become? What will they desire? Will they fall in love? Questions rummaged in my head. I wanted to activate them already but I am not that impatient. I touched the glass of the two pods. Oh Creuset. If only you knew about your siblings but I'm sure you'd be against it. Oh, I guess that makes them Holly's siblings too.

I couldn't help but laugh.

Soon, my children will see the world. I'll watch over them and see their growth.

Aren't you excited? I know I am.

TO BE CONTINUED?

* * *

AFTERWORD

This story started on November 2017, and I never really planned for it to be big, just Monika and the Main Character doing stuff together and getting closer each chapter. It's mainly inspired by the song 'Different Worlds' by Pupil. The main story changed when I had to address where Monika came from and the answer was Creuset.

Yes, Creuset's name came from Gundam Seed's 'Rau Le Creuset', and I love that character so much that I used his last name. Another reason that I used his name was that he was also a mystery character in his series. Lastly, it's because Creuset translated to crucible, which Creuset clearly was in the story. At first, I wasn't sure who Creuset's true identity would be. I just sort of placed her there to fill a hole. I even hinted that she could be Sayori with presidency influence but that never sounded right to me so I went with female MC.

Also, Creuset's Twitter is real, in case you guys still didn't try to look it up.

I also thought of doing a multiple entries like Awakening of Monika and then Awakening of Yuri. You get the picture. But I realized I would be making it hard for readers to follow if they didn't know there was a continuation so I dropped the idea. There's even covers for them and you can see them on Creuset's Twitter.

Luce came up as a partner of Yuri. She's diagnosed with depression and barely lives each day until she met Yuri in real life. She likes punk clothing but also has regular clothes. Perhaps she was one of the more difficult characters for me to write for since I don't have depression myself. I had to look it up, just to make sure I wasn't exaggerating her case. She might be my favorite character out of all the ones in the story because of her tendency to swear and the challenge she brought to my writing. Oh, and I don't hate Doctor Who. That's all Luce. I love Doctor Who. As for the reference of Metal Gear Solid, there's no reason. I just like it.

I initially thought of Amity as a girl but I realized how many female characters I had with this story, I decided to make Amity a crossdresser. Cute things, clothes, and the like. Him being an artist was probably because most of my friends are artists and I know their struggles of doing commissions as work. The only ones who know about Amity's gender are Luce and Natsuki.

Holly wasn't really supposed to be a character in the story but as I went along, her presence became a strong tool. She's supposed to be just a part of Luce's characterization but things change.

Mackenzie is probably the only character I don't understand myself. Her appearance is based on a person I saw in real life and I think I never forgot her ever since. Perhaps that's why Mackenzie is full of mystery herself.

Now, before I end this, I will answer the questions in the comments. The only reason I never answered questions before is that because I didn't want to put any ideas to anyone without finishing the story first. So without first ado, here goes:

During Chapter 10, someone pointed out that the Main Character and Monika was watching Kimi ni Todoke. This is correct. I love that show.

A lot of people wondered who Creuset was going to voice act as and most of you guessed it was Sayori. This is correct however I realized Monika would be able to say that voice wasn't Sayori.

Someone asked if Monika could learn instantaneously new languages. Yes if she decided to. Creuset is more likely to achieve this as she spent days learning.

"Now that's unfair; I wanted to know what Creuset looked like, not another cliffhanger waiting to be continued." Yes, I am aware of the cliffhangers I make. Sorry.

Secret Poem Number 6 wasn't really supposed to sound like Unlimited Blade Works but due to the comments, it does. Now I can confirm Luce has a Reality Marble and can produce swords. I am kidding.

A question popped up concerning Sayori and Creuset's connection. Creuset, when the first instance of the Literature Club was deleted, barely survived the deletion. In order to complete himself, he borrowed data from Sayori since he knew Sayori would know what he would look like. The problem was that the Sayori he reconstructed was based on the game we all know and we all know that the main character never showed his face. This was also his first time controlling data. This caused Creuset to become female.

One of you why people weren't willing to forgive Creuset at first when they did with Monika. Think about it; Monika only did what she did because she thought nothing in their world was real and that she was the only one that was. Creuset, on the other hand, shut down Monika knowing she was real and did so repeatedly. Later, Creuset would shut down Yuri and Holly.

And lastly, one asked: What's the password for Sayori's pod? I'm going to be honest here; I don't know.

That's it for the questions I found on the comments. Thank you all for reading this far in the story. I love this story from the beginning to the end. I'm grateful for all those who read each chapter with each update. Thanks to those who left comments; they've made me happy, laugh, and think with what I do here.

Perhaps there's another question I need to answer. Is there a sequel? I have no plans to do that. Then again, I had no plans in creating this story in the first place.

With that out of the way, thank you again. I hope you enjoyed this journey to the end with me. Happy reading, everyone.


	63. File Restored, Open File?

I woke up. I think I did. The thing is, I wasn't sure. Waking up means opening your eyes and identifying what you see when you do. What happened to me felt similar but without opening my eyes. It felt like they were always open, just turned on. There was also the missing morning fatigue. I didn't feel tired or lethargic as one usually would when woken up.

What I saw before me was nothing. I don't know how to describe it. It wasn't black like closing your eyes. It was nothingness; it's the sight that is outside your view, the back of your eyes. Where is this then?

I looked at my hands. There were normal. I don't know why I thought they'd be any different. And so I walked forward. My feet felt the ground and it was cold and flat like glass. It was uncomfortable. I kept on walking until I saw something on the floor. Concrete flooring? It looked familiar. I trudged on until something came into view. It was the club room missing its walls. It was so out of place in the middle of the void but it gave comfort to me knowing there was still something in here. The chairs and tables were in disarray. Some were floating in midair. I pulled a seat in the air and sat down.

What now?

I tried to remember what happened before… Yes. Monika deleted everything when Sayori tried to… And then… Everything was gone. Then, why am I still here? I looked at my hands again. They looked glitchy, like some parts of my hands were missing a pixel, making it see through. I felt like I should be panicking but no feeling set in on me. I decided to look around. I found the walk-in cabinet empty. I went to the teacher's table. It's drawers were also empty.

Sayori, Monika, Natsuki, and Yuri. I remember those names. I remember them.

So why can't I remember my own name?

I thought hard. I tried to recall as much as I can. Conversations and interactions, anything and yet my name won't come up. Nothing. I don't remember anything. Just names that weren't mine.

I then noticed a window. No, it looked like rectangle floating in midair. I peered into it. It looked like a room but it was too dark to see. Before the window was a table and chair, set up as if to see through the window. I pulled the chair and sat down.

What happened to me then? Why am I the only one left?

I peered into the window in space. Darkness. Nothing was on the other side. I touched the window. It felt very cold, like a glass screen.

And then, I felt a surge inside me. I began to remember everything. Sayori's suicide. Natsuki's odd behavior. Yuri's obsession. Yuri's decomposing body. Monika's ending. Everything came into place. I felt sick remembering everything. I fell off my seat and started vomiting though nothing came out of me. I climbed back into the chair. I felt weaker.

Monika.

If she just told us… If she just tried… It's all her fault… She hurt everyone. She even got Sayori harmed.

That's unforgivable.

I was about to stand up, I noticed a small crack in the window in space. I looked at my glitched hands and realized my body was nothing but glitched. Only my hands seemed to be normal. I wondered if my face was glitched too. I tried remembering my own face; I couldn't. It's such a bizarre and sad thing to know that you couldn't remember your own face… I tried remembering the others faces… No, I couldn't remember. Only their names seemed to be ingrained into my mind.

Nothing in this world is real. If that's the case, then I should be able to go out there.

If Monika can do it, I can do it better.

It was time I got out of this hell.


	64. Chapter 41B: Ominous

Author's Note

This chapter is nothing but a what-if situation. None of the events in this chapter are canon nor possible. In that sense, this is more like an another ending if the fanfic was ever a visual novel like the game it's based on. Do remember that this chapter is an extra and only a thought experiment. With that said, read on.

* * *

I held Monika's face with my hand. She looked very tired and shivering. Her body was shaking from whatever it was that she saw and heard. I don't know what Monika was right now, but I don't want her to suffer anymore.

"Need a little bit more convincing?" Creuset joked, holding up the switch.

"Stop it!" I warned her. "Don't you see you becoming the very thing you are trying to fight against!?"

"Yes." Creuset's smile was there but her eyes were lifeless. "That's how revenge works." She walked and then sat on a white chair nearby in front of the electric chair. "I think you remember what Monika said about turning off the game."

Of course. I never forget Monika's lines from the game. I've read them so many times that they're etched on my mind. What Creuset was saying was that turning the gameoff lead to a state where one is bombarded with noises and incoherent images. Monika called it a screaming void. To be subjected in that state repeatedly… How can anyone do something like that?

"What do you want?" I uttered, holding Monika's hand on the chair.

"Aren't you a little forgetful? I said I want you." Creuset crossed her legs and stared apathetically. "Then I'll erase the memories of Monika. She won't remember you or anything that happened to her."

"You can erase memories?" I asked.

"And repetitive." Creuset gave a concerned look at me. "Yes, I can. I just haven't had the chance to try it but I am confident in my skills. At least she won't remember her suffering today."

I looked at Monika. Her eyes slowly moved to look at me.

"Love, don't worry about me." Monika said weakly. "Go."

"What the hell are you saying?" I whispered to her. "I'm not leaving you."

"You have to do what she says." Monika looked down. "If you don't, you'll be the one who suffers. At least she can make you happy."

"Shut up. Don't say that." I held her face with my hand. "You make me happy. How can I be happy without you?"

"I—" Monika suddenly limped down.

"You asshole!" I rushed to Creuset and grabbed her by the collar, lifting her off the chair. "YOU STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

Creuset remained unflinched to my anger and pressed the switch again, bring Monika to life again. "This will only end when you decide."

I frantically grabbed the switch from Creuset's hand and immediately backed off. I went to Monika and held her face. "Are you okay?"

"Please… Make it stop… I just—" Monika went limp again. But how!? I had the switch!

"You didn't really think I'd leave the controls on a physical object?" Creuset sat back down on her seat. "Predictable. I wouldn't do anything that would fit that word. The real controls are in here," Creuset pointed to her head.

I pressed the switch, expected Monika to wake up. She didn't. After pressing multiple times, I tossed the switch to the floor.

"Be mine now." Creuset stood up and held my face. "No matter what you do, I control anything and everything that technology touches."

I clenched my fists. "How the fuck do you think I would love you if you're doing all this bullshit!?"

Creuset didn't react; her apathetic gaze still remained. She then smiled at me. That's when I realized; I cannot reason with her.

"There's no use refusing; just accept my offer," Creuset traced her index finger along my lips, "And everything will be alright."

Is there really no other choice? Am I fated to be with this psychopath? I refuse the idea. I love Monika with all my heart. I can't stand the idea of being apart from her… But how can I save her? Nothing I can do will help Monika. All I can do is… Accept Creuset's offer. Monika will forget about me. Everything we did together, talked about… She'll forget about Luce… About Amity… Is that really saving her? What the hell am I supposed to do?

I fell to my knees. I felt helpless. My thoughts couldn't think of any other way to get out of this situation. It was hopeless. Maybe Creuset was right. There really was no other choice. All I thought was how I can save Monika.

"Well… What say you?" Creuset asked.

"Fine." I hung my head in defeat. "I accept."

Creuset lifted me back to my feet and looked at my eyes. "I will make you happy, as I will with the Literature Club. I promise you that." She gave me a light kiss to my lips.

She then turned to Monika. I turned my back on them. I couldn't watch Monika lose her memories.

"Huh?" Monika said, making look at her. "What's going on?" She held the side of her head.

"It's alright, Monika." Creuset helped her get up. "I'm here to help."

"Creuset? Thank goodness you're here." Monika smiled at her. "Where's everyone? Aren't we supposed to be at school?"

How did she knew Creuset? If she was resetted to the earliest memory where she hadn't met me, then why did she remember Creuset?

It felt wrong to watch the two of them being friendly to each other. Monika then turned to me.

Monika looked as me curiously. "And you are?"

I've been hurt with words before. When I was at school, I would get insulted. At work, I would get scolded. With my parents, they would scold me too but for the right reasons. But I think words never hurt as much as they do now. I felt like stabbed with a knife and then the knife twisted as it contorted my flesh. For the first time, I felt more hurt than I was ever hurt physically.

"I'm…"

It was so wrong to introduce myself to someone I loved and loved me back.

"He's my lover," Creuset answered.

I wanted to yell that it was complicated. I wanted to explain to her everything. I wanted to tell her that I love her.

But…

"Oh, since when!?" Monika said in surprise.

"We've known each other for a while but it was only recently that we got official. Anyways, there's a lot we need to talk about."

"But what about everyone else? Natsuki? Sayori? And Yuri?"

"They're safe. I'm just about to take you to them."

Monika embraced Creuset. "That's great! Thank you so much for keeping us together."

I can't believe those words came out of Monika's mouth.

"It's a natural thing to do. Come on, I still have to show you around and update you with everything."

Creuset held Monika's hand and pulled her towards the door.

"Love," Creuset faced me. "Do tell the others that Monika is now okay?" She then winked at me.

Others? Did that include Luce and Amity? I was still in shock so I just nodded.

"Is he okay? He seems to be out of it," Monika wondered, turning her head to look at me one last time.

"No worries. He's just taking things slowly with me."

And with that, they left the room and shut the door behind them.

I was alone in the room.

I sat down on the chair Monika was sitting on. I recalled the times I was with her; I thought that would make me feel better but I only felt worse. I realized that those memories were just that. Memories. I'll never see Monika as my loved one. I'll never have another new memory with her.

I noticed something by my foot. It was the shutdown switch from earlier. I reached and picked it up. Looking up close, it looked like detonator for a bomb, with black and yellow stripes and a red button.

I pressed it, hoping it would shut me down. I stared at it.

I pressed it again.

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	65. Special: The Third Party Verification

Author's Note

Happy Anniversary to this fanfic! I can't believe it's been a year since I posted the first chapter and now it stands as one of the most popular fanfics on this site. For that, I am thankful to all who followed the story from the beginning. I am also thankful who checked out the story even after it's completion.

Now, for this chapter, it happens before the Chapter 52: Zen. I've been thinking of what else to do for the anniversary but I couldn't really think of anything else. Well, if you really want, you can head over to Creuset's Twitter and ask anything! She'll answer to the best as she can. Be nice to her. Just look up creusetsan on Twitter.

Anyways, thanks to everyone again! The Awakening of Monika is a story I cherish and I'm glad many of you feel the same. Happy readings!

* * *

Something's wrong.

You see, I think there is something wrong with my coworker and I haven't gotten the slightest idea what it is. I worked at this place for a few months now and the dude in the next cubicle to mine is pretty easy to predict. His life was a simpleton one so I could write down what he does when he's at work.

First off, he doesn't talk to people. Only when needed. I guess he's an introvert but damn, he really never talks to ANYONE and I mean it. Last time I heard his voice was when he was asking for some extra staples and that was months ago.

Second is that he never left his cubicle unless he had to eat. I don't know if that's because he's too diligent or if it's part of his introvertness but that's just sad. One thing he does is smoke on breaks which I offer to join him. It's more like he lets join him so I don't pester him anymore. When we do smoke, silence ensues.

Third is that never hangs out with anyone from work and goes straight home. I've tried to invite him to drink and even offered him a treat on me but he declined and just went home.

I could go on, but you get it. He is a true introvert, a lone wolf among men. With the number of attempts I've made to make him open up sort of broke me since I always knew I was good with people. That man is the living proof that I am not. Fuck.

Until one day, after he was absent from work for like weeks and came into work that I saw something so unusual. So bizarre that he might as well be called Jojo.

That day, I saw him smile.

It was like seeing the sunshine after an eclipse covered the sun for months. It was so bedazzling that it made me smile too. No, I wasn't falling for him. Fuck you if you thought of that but if not, you're okay. He got called in by HR but he looked so positive that it's like he was being called for a commendation and he seemed like a different person. What happened in the days he was gone?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Connor asked, looking concerned as he sipped his black coffee.

"What, why you asking?" I retorted.

"You're doing the thinking face."

"I do not have a thinking face."

Connor then made this face where he creased his eyebrows and pursed his lips to the right. "This is the thinking face."

"Be glad I am not drinking hot beverage or it would've ruined your lovely face," I warn him.

"Thank you very much, my lady."

This man is my boyfriend. Sometimes he's an asshole but god do I love him. Connor has an undercut hair and is wearing a dark blue t-shirt with small skulls printed all over it, some dark jeans, and a pair of Vans that I bought him last week. He smiles at me with his stupid fang exposed. I already talked to him to get it fixed but he said the dentist would probably just remove his tooth. That's not how dentists work on fanged teeth…

"You're thinking about Wolf again, aren't you?" He smirks at me.

"No!" I deny.

"Come on, even I know there's a huge change with him ever since he got back. You can't help but feel sorry for him before but now he's like possessed by a positive spirit." Connor takes a huge gulp of his coffee.

"Who's not worried of their fellow coworkers?"

"So you are worried?"

"You and your fucking questions… I swear to god."

"So?"

"Of course I'm worried!" I take a spoonful of my ice cream sundae. "You see a man who doesn't speak nor make attempts to do so and now he's a bright ball of sunshine and everyone likes him! Like, someone replaced him or something!" I take two bites. Mmm, cookies and cream.

"So?" Connor shrugged.

"So!? Con, the man changed in a matter of days!"

"You changed in a matter of days."

"This is different! I was a bitch, yeah, but I've always been a social person! Wolf doesn't do socialization. Never."

"You keep calling him wolf, but that's not his real name, right?"

To be honest, I never knew his name. I just called him Wolf since the lone wolf thing works whenever I thought of him. I never bothered to look at his ID as well…

Connor and I left the cafe and got back to our workplace. Before I go back to my cubicle, I decided to look for Wolf to see what he's up to during lunch. It's still pretty early and I know Wolf eats at the company pantry. Terrible food, if you ask me. Most people just come here to eat lunches they made at home… But I doubt Wolf cooks his own lunch. I've seen him eat the slob here like it's edible.

I see Wolf's back as he is sitting across a woman with a seriously long brown hair. She wore an off-shoulder white shirt, paired with a slim-fit dark blue jeans and a heels probably three inches high. Simple outfit but she's one of those few who can make rags look like Chanel if they ever choose to wear them. Wolf ate something from a boxed lunch as he talked to the chic lady.

"You're a stalker now?"

I turned my head and saw Connor's face next to mine. "Don't be noisy!" I hush him.

"Who's that with Wolf?"

"I don't know, I never saw him with anyone so I'm guessing a friend?"

"Or his sister?"

"Really Connor? They look nothing alike."

"Adopted."

"Only showing up to work like recently? Connor, your investigative eyes disappoint me."

"Sorry, Sherlock. I don't see everything like elementary like you do— Wait." Connor looks at Wolf with furrowed eyebrows.

"What?"

"They're calling us…" Connor points to Wolf and the lady and I turn to see the lady gesturing at us to come over…

"We got caught because of you," I bemoan at him as I walk towards their table.

As soon as we got close to them, the lady smiles at me and seeing her up close makes me think that I've already seen her before… I can't forget such a pretty face… Was it Instagram? Twitter? Or maybe a Youtube makeup tutorial video?

"Hey," Wolf says to me as he face me. "Monika said you guys were looking at our table for a while now. Need something?"

"No, not really!" I deny.

"Like they'll buy that," Connor whispers to me.

"You never introduced me to your coworkers, love," the lady smiles at me as she say that to Wolf. Love? This dude's girlfriend is this goddess?

"Oh, right. We've been so busy these past days." Wolf then stands up and gesture at me. "This is Zoe. She's works on the cubicle next to mine and he's… " Wolf scratches his head. "Sorry, I don't know your name. I think you're from another department?"

"It's Connor, man." Boyfie offers his hand.

"Sorry." Wolf shakes it.

"Nice to meet both of you," the lady says. "I'm Monika, his fiancée."

I blink a bunch of times. "Wait, fiancée? You guys are getting married?"

"Um, yeah," Wolf sheepishly confirms as he scratch his head. "I proposed to her like weeks ago and now we're just trying to make it happen."

What? He's getting married; WHAT? I shake my head a bit. "Oh, congratulations then!" I decide to go along for now. It's not like I really knew him so overreacting to that would be probably rude. I mean, I thought he is not the marrying type.

So after that, Wolf explained that he first plans to tell his parents personally and then they would start planning for the wedding. Wolf said I'm invited and Connor can be my plus one. After a bit of more chit chat, we left Wolf and Monika and went back to our cubicles. As I sit down on my chair, I feel like something is missing. Something…

Right! I really think I've seen Monika somewhere. She's probably on Twitter so I took out my phone and opened the Twitter app. I notice a notification from Creuset. Probably still wondering if I already watched the show she recommended. Now's not the time for that! I scroll down on the app and just as I am to give up looking for Monika on Twitter but then I tapped on the notification… And I find a picture of Monika. Well, not a picture; an art piece. It's Monika doing a pin up for a summer two-piece bikini and it looks really well-drawn. I look at the tags of the post and one of the tags. Wolf's girlfriend… Fiancée, I mean… She looks exactly like Monika! Wait, even her name's Monika! What's the meaning of this!?

* * *

I ended up thinking about it the whole time at work. I managed not to screw up anything work-related but man, it was tiring. I was really close to… You know what, let's not talk about that.

I still am thinking about Monika and Wolf… If Monika's her real name. Is it? Is she some roleplayer gone to serious and mistaken herself as Monika? Her green eyes sure looks real, even her ridiculous long hair. I'd know if they were fake even from a distance. I've dealt with wigs and contacts a lot so I'd know.

Where did they even meet in the first place!?

Of course, Connor already told me I was weird for being worried about Wolf but I just can't help it. With my previous work place, everyone had someone to talk to but Wolf just sat in his cubicle alone and eats alone when it's lunch time. It's like he's invisible. And now he's super sociable and has a fiancée. Fiancée from a video game!

Yeah, I've played Doki Doki Literature 's was one of Creuset's first recommendations. I wasn't sure what it was for, the story that is. Don't like Sayori and if I had to pick a favorite, it'd be Natsuki. I'd pick Monika but she's crazy. I wouldn't get along with Yuri; I never did well with bookish-types.

* * *

At the end of my shift, I went ahead of Connor; he goes out later than me so… I'll just see him later in my apartment. I can't wait for him since my phone's almost dead and I don't want to drain my phone just waiting for him. Guess who also gets off work same time as me? Wolf. One of these days, I'll have to ask for his real name…

SO. I followed him going home… Am I a stalker now? No, of course not. Okay, I probably am right now. But my curiosity will kill me if I don't figure out who or what the hell is Monika. And there I am, on the same train as Wolf and he just looked at his phone as he is sitting down. He gets off the first stop so I did as well and keep my distance as I follow. I wonder what he would think if he found me… Nah, he wouldn't. I changed my blazer into this jacket I bought online and wore a baseball cap. Wolf enters a small cafe near the station. Of course, I follow him inside.

Someone waves at him from a booth on the far end of the cafe… The one waving is a cute little girl with shoulder length hair, wearing an off-shoulder top matched with a frilly white shirt that makes her sooooooooo adorable. Wolf has a little sister? Doesn't look like him though. At all… I sat down few tables away from them where I can see them clearly. The little girl apparently isn't alone in the booth; a gloomy looking woman with shoulder length half shaved hair sat across her and seems also happy to see Wolf. She wore a white t-shirt that said 'I'm an author' to which I highly doubt and a pair of dark leather pants and boots. Edgy. Edgy girl says something to Wolf and then laughs. Wolf just sits down and they just… Hang out?

Why does he have a lot of female friends? Where's Monika? I move to a closer table so I can catch their conversation.

"Basically, Holly's got me working like a horse. We had to grab some of her stuff from her apartment but breaking into a dead woman's room wouldn't look good so we had to do it at night."

I turn my head to the edgy girl. I can't believe what I just heard. They were stealing!?

"Well, Holly needs her stuff," the little girl says. "I don't think you're the type who would lend clothes. And Holly probably would like to wear something other than black."

"Hey, I have other colors in my wardrobe."

The little girl looks at edgy incredulously. "Let me guess, white and gray?"

Edgy girl looks stunned. "I-I also have red…"

Girl, you need a better wardrobe choices.

The little pouts. Cute. "Next time I go shopping, you're coming."

"I'm not shopping for clothes."

"When was the last time you bought clothes?"

"Unimportant."

The two keep fighting over clothes while Wolf just looks unsure what to do. You disappear for a month and now you're covered in bitches!? I mean, I don't know how they're involved with him yet but I can only assume the worst.

"Clothes aside," the little girl changes the topic, looking real excited. "You said you're really gonna marry Monika."

Edgy bangs her hands on the table. "Holy shit, for real!?"

"Could you not make a scene, please?" Wolf asks. "And yes, I'm serious."

"Wouldn't that be, I don't know, difficult? She's doesn't exactly have papers, being from a video game and all that shit." Edgy folds her arms.

The little girl then notices me looking at her so I immediately look away and pretend to look at the menu. Shit.

"That lady keeps looking over here."

"Who?" Edgy says.

I keep my stare at the menu but I heard someone standing up from their table. Calm down, probably going to the toilet…

"Hey," a voice next to me says.

I look to my right and saw edgy girl looking down on me. Her eyes are so menacing…

"You got a fucking problem with my friend?"

"Luce, don't!" The little girl says as she tries to pull her back to their table. "Don't make a scene!"

"No, I felt like someone's been watching and now that you mentioned it, I can't just let this bitch stalk us and pretend she's invisible." She slams her hand on my table. "So!? Who the fuck are you?"

"Guys, let's just calm down… Wait, Zoe?" Wolf notices me as he walks towards my table. Now I know my disguise isn't so great after all. "What are you doing here? Aren't you with Connor?"

"Know this stalker, Sherlock?" The edgy girl who is apparently named Luce points at me.

"Stalker? I mean, yeah. I know her from work."

I see them being occupied talking so I take a step to get away from them—

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere, kiddo," Luce warns as she holds my shoulder with an iron grip. "You're gonna talk, and we're going to talk a lot."

Mama, if I don't come home for Christmas, I just want you to know your spaghetti sucks but I still love you lots.

"Guys, she's a friend."

I turn to Wolf and thank him silently as I am still worried that this edgelord will hurt me.

"This creep's your friend?" Luce raises an eyebrow at me.

After a minute of Wolf calming his friends down (mostly Luce), they let me sit with them at their booth. They order drinks and I just order a rootbeer float.

"So you're just curious what's going on with Sherlock here?" Luce says as pockets her smartphone. "You could've just asked like any normal person."

You're no normal person. "Yeah, I guess."

"Zoe, is there something wrong? I don't think I messed up at work," Wolf wonders.

"I… "

What am I supposed to say? That I was worried when he was gone and when he got back, he's completely different? Wouldn't that sound like I like him? Because honest to god, I don't like him that way.

"It's alright," the little girl pipes up. "Being gone from work then just popping out of the blue would make anyone curious."

This girl is an angel.

"Amity, you're too naive. We can't take her word for it just because."

This edgelord is the devil.

"Luce, I told you she's a friend and I invited her to the wedding."

Wolf is apparently an angel too.

"I guess if she's invited, then she's alright." Luce offers her hand. "Name's Luce. Sorry if I wasn't , you know, nice earlier."

I take her hand and shake. "Zoe."

Luce's eyes widen. "Zoe? Your name is Zoe?"

"Yeah?"

Her grip on my hand tightens. "Zoe Edensworth?"

"How did you know my last name?"

Luce lets go of my hand. "Holy shit. To think I would meet you IRL."

"Uh, do I know you? Wait, are you following me on Twitter?"

"We've met. I mean no. We haven't but I sort of know you. It's a long story. Like, thirty six chapters long or so."

"That doesn't really explain anything."

"Okay, bottomline, I don't know you but I've heard of you. Believe me, this is confusing even for me."

"Okay?" I decide not to follow up on that since it sounds really confusing. Maybe she actually is crazy.

"Then you've already met Monika?" Amity asks as she takes her milkshake from the waitress that just arrived. She sure likes to change topics.

"Yeah, she was with him during lunch break at work,"I say, taking my drink. "She probably brought him lunch."

Do I ask them? That Monika is from a video game?

"If you're invited then there should be no problems with you knowing Monika's an android, right?" Luce grins at me.

"Android?"

Color drains from Luce's face. "Wait. You don't know?"

"Know what?"

Wolf just facepalms. "Luce…"

Amity has the face of disappointment. "Luce."

Luce looks desperate. "Hey! You said you trust her!"

"I did but I didn't say I told her about Monika's condition."

"What's going on?" I ask.

Wolf just looks at me seriously.

"This is a really long story and it involves why I was gone for weeks. Will you listen?"

At last. That's what I came for so my answer is pretty obvious. They say curiosity killed the cat, but the thing is, that line isn't even complete.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. And I want my questions to be satisfied with answers.

I return his seriousness with earnesty. "Yes."


End file.
